Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Motive & Agenda

I was pretty much going to apply for this marriage licnese, especially after Exxon said a bunch of things to help clarify what his intentions were.

He finally admitted he'd not been faithful the whole time he was with me. So he admitted to lying and then he was owning up to that and said he just wanted to be with me. He said all other ties were cut and that he's interested in my son and future.

I'm still confused by why he wants to move so fast on the marriage application. He has a good point in that he can work more easily once things are in a process and he can make more money. So I do understand that. He's able to accomplish more financially by getting things underway more quickly. It's understandable. A couple of things I've not felt are understandable really, and I don't exactly know what the deal is, but? how would I figure it out? He keeps saying this first part is just the application so I should just relax a little more.

Then I see these people coming into the cafe today and one man in particular just stared and stared and looked so upset or disappointed with me or something. Glasses, middle aged, and greying-silver-white hair. Just held my gaze for a very long time and I wonder what the deal is and why, if there is obviously something on his mind, he doesn't just come up to me and share. I mean, why give me this LOoooooooooooong glaring stare and walk away? It was pointed. It was not in passing. He walked by me TWICE and just looked at me, very hard. And I think, what's going on? and do you feel like sharing something? This guy just stared and stared and I don't know why he was so upset.

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