Deciding On Keeping Ectopic Pregnancy

Well, I've decided to keep it.

If there is really another baby in there, as I'm told, I don't really know how I could bring myself to have it aborted, even though it would be for a very good reason.

I always fight for the underdog, and in this case, this one is the underdog.

I don't want to die, so I want good management of this condition, but I'm going to have to make some calls.

No wonder I still felt pregnant.

I'm still in shock though. I feel like I'm in some kind of sci-fi movie. Anyway, there are several examples of live births from ectopics. The worst ones, which result in worst damages to the the mother, are the ones in the tube. It's just too narrow. But there are some which are implanted other places, like the ovary and outside of the uterus, which have a slighty better chance and slightly less risk.

It is extremely uncommon to have this kind of twin pregnancy. It's even more unlikely to be able to carry safely, to delivery, but how can I abort my own child, if there is another, when the other one never should have died?

I just can't do it. I am willing to risk my fertility for this, but not my life. I don't want to die, but I am willing to lose an ovary to give it a chance. I still have another ovary, so I might still be able to have kids.

At this point in the game, all these things feel pretty much out of my control. WHY do I have such a bizarre life? I don't know. I should be thankful it's never boring, and that there's always something to learn, but I have a headache today too, and I am trying to get my son back and have no one helping me with that.

I deserve to have an extension for getting things done, because it's wrong to expect me to get all these things done when I'm just trying to survive a very difficult, high-risk, and unexpected pregnancy. It's not fair to me to give me regular time limits, when nothing has been regular.

I cannot imagine having a safe ectopic in Wenatchee either. I would die, and they would let me die.

I need to find people who will help me, in a practical way, to restore my rights, and hold people accountable for illegal actions.

I am going to call specialized science and medical offices today, and also maybe a Catholic university hospital or something, to find out who is best in helping to preserve strange pregnancies like this. I have this in common with the most conservative Catholics at least--I do not believe in abortion. Not for myself. I wish everyone could see how beautiful a tiny little 11 week old fetus is. Not to feel guilty, or shame anyone, but just to face facts and square with science, for once, that this really is a little life, with feelings and is not a blob.

Listening to "Free Fallin'" by Tom Petty. Heeeerrrrrreeee we gooo! It's going to be a Tom Petty day. "Learnin to Fly", "Into the Great Wide Open" and "Mary Jane".