Update on Ovarian Pregnancy

I am still not sure what's going on. I called the specialist today and left a message because he was interested enough in having me come to his office instead of ER, and said my condition was very rare.

He wants to check the HCG levels and see if they're still going up in 2-3 days. So I don't know what this means. Basically, 3 different doctors said it looks ectopic in the ovary and that it was implanted around same time of the gestation of the other fetus. What I don't know, is the status of this fetus.

I'm sort of thinking maybe it's dead. Because wouldn't they tell me if they found a heartbeat? So maybe they're taking HCG to see if it's going down on its own because it died and now they want to be sure it's taking care of itself.

I have no idea.

If it's dead, I am definitely going to have some complaints with regard to my medical care and I'll name the hospitals and doctors. Because all of it could have been prevented and at least the normal pregnancy could have been saved if they had listened to me and done more to find out what was causing the pain I told them about. I got the best investigative ultrasound at this last place, and it was done too late. I went to the George Washington Hospital and was generally impressed. I felt safe there.

Everywhere else, there were problems evident from the outset but that's NOT to say there are not good doctors at these other places either. I think Fairfax has some really good ones, but I just got the idiot interns and residents. George Washington had interns and residents too, but they were more professional and seemed a little smarter.

I wouldn't send my dog to Prince George's Hospital.

It sort of looks like I may be losing an ovary. How do they take out a fetus without operating on it? I don't see how that's possible. If it's dead, it probably died the same time the other fetus died.

I still have some pain though. They gave me a small prescription which I haven't filled, but the cramps are still quite painful and I think I may fill it after all. Just a very small 1-2 day supply of Percocet. I'm taking Ibuprofen but it doesn't help much.

If, for some crazy reason, there is a viable fetus, and that would be a total miracle, I would try to see if I can carry it to term. My ovary is going to be shot anyway.

If the doctors had found this earlier, it could have been handled, the whole management of my pregnancy, differently. I was not just high risk because of prolapse and prior problems, I was super high, high, risk, and no one listened to me.

Once again.

Last night, though, on the way to the George Washington Hospital, I kept hearing the song in my head, by Coldplay, "I'll See You Soon."

I'm not sure why, but although I can't see any evidence, on the outside, that anyone is looking out for me or investigating anything, I "feel", instinctively, someone, or some group, I don't know which, is taking a closer look at things. I think someone wants to protect me and my son, and that they believe me. I don't know how to rationalize this, because I have no evidence, but I feel someone fully validates me and believes me, even as crazy and unusual as my claims are--they know, or believe it's true. I don't know why I know this. I wish I knew who this was, and who these people are, and I don't know why you're in hiding, and disguised from me, when I need these people.

I have an invisible army behind me, that I cannot even see, and I walk forward, thinking I'm completely alone and not believed, but for some reason, they cannot reveal themselves.

I don't know why.