I thought my only options were a D&C or natural miscarriage, but I'm reading if you're this far along, you can ask to be induced so you labor naturally and then can see the baby. Well, this woman was 17 weeks along, but I see no reason why someone 11 weeks along couldn't be induced as well. I don't mean to be morbid, and this kind of post will be, for some, but I'm completely okay with what's happened, and can handle it. I don't think there is anything about the human body that is gross or indelicate or whatever. I think everyone should be comfortable with their bodies and knowing what feels right, where things are, and how to assess pain and other sensations correctly.
I thought I would make this post, too, so that other women know they have other options besides natural miscarriage for missed miscarriage, or D&C or D&E and it's probably got a lot less risks than the surgical removal.
It sort of bothered me that they made me wait and were telling me to go to someone else for the D&C. It also bothers me that the doctor, woman one, made me wait over 3 hours after knowing my baby had died from the MRI, to give me something for anxiety. They just left me in a room with nothing. I finally called someone to be there with me and even then they stalled. I would hope that they would suck up the cost of doing an induction or at least allow me to be induced after all of this. I know for a fact the baby was alive until the MRI. I also know no one told me what the risks were. I had thought it was just possible but rarely, birth defects. No one told me a baby could die. I am not going to sue, but I do think they could take some responsibility, just as I have, and allow me to miscarry in the way I am most comfortable, which would be through induction.
I'm not dwelling on the missed miscarriage at all, and I don't think much about it, but I started doing a little more research because a week ago I had brown discharge after running, and today it's more like greyish brown black. So, I'm thinking that while I feel okay and this could just be placental bleeding, I don't know that I want to go much further with the "natural" approach, but I definitely don't want a D&C either.
I just called the hospital and the OBGYN on duty said that I would go to ER when possible, they'd take a look at things and go from there. I told her I did NOT want a D&C though and that I was hoping they'd consider something else. I also don't want an ultrasound done really. I don't want bad photos. I would rather just miscarry naturally, but I don't know if it's wise to wait. Okay, honestly, I'm okay waiting longer, emotionally I'm totally fine with it or I would still be writing about it. I don't feel sick, or have fever, or pain, or anything, so I trust my body to do the right thing. However, I guess what it comes down to is that I WANT TO SEE the baby, and I don't want to see it 3 weeks from now when it will be more deteriorated. I can handle the idea of deterioration. That's life and you deal with it. You go through all the stages and phases, and you are stronger, and suddenly, you're even okay with seeing the end product of the tragedy. So I'm FINE with that. But, can I get a witness...You don't want to see it 2 months later. I guess some women do this, and I'm reading about it online, but it makes me wonder. Who knows, maybe I'll change my mind, but right now, I just want to be induced.
I found a new hair today, in the discharge and it was very pale golden blond. It wasn't my hair and it wasn't red. It was a fine blond hair.
I guess who knows where the brown-black ones were from, maybe trapped there from prolapsed uterus, from last sex with father, who knows. But this hair, was a very light golden blond, and it was straight. I think the baby had blond hair, as I originally thought. It makes the most sense, especially now.
WHOA. Okay, this info might be a little off, because it's coming from the "moondragon birthing center", but it says:
A "missed spontaneous abortion" or a "missed miscarriage" is when the fetus dies, but is not passed from the body with the blood discharge. Instead it is reabsorbed back into the mother's body.
Ummmm...WHAT? "reabsorbed back into the mother's body"??? I haven't heard of THAT before. I guess this is a new thing to look up.
Okay, looking it up and it usually happens in early miscarriage, but it's sort of sounding like it can happen later too. How does THAT work? And, it can happen after 11 weeks gestation too. I'm finding a lot of examples online. Which is a little strange, because the mother usually finds out later. I guess this happens with twins too, sometimes, where one will be reaborbed by the mother's body(and not the twin). So it happens all the time, but sort of strange. I'm taking a nap. I am a little bit tired after reading about all of this. Will be back later to post email stuff with lawyers regarding my case. Just tired right now. Not depressed at all, or anxious. Tired, and I did a lot of walking today.
I'm also wondering why some of the info on their site changed but I don't know. Maybe it was another site I looked at. I found out later that it's a teaching hospital that uses students from Georgetown and other universities in the area.
I just read about one woman's experience with this and I'm thinking I may want to do this.
"04-07-2005, 02:20 PM
I've had four miscarriages. Three I delivered at home (they were first trimester losses). The third one was I was 17 weeks. They wanted to do a D&E (16 weeks seems quite far along to do a D&C; a D&E requires different medical equipment and is a slightly different procedure). I refused since I wanted to see and hold my baby.
I waited two weeks to go into labor on my own and then requested an induction. I was induced and three hours later delivered my tiny son. I was so grateful to be able to hold and see my baby. We brought him home with us and buried him in the flower bed beneath our bedroom window. It just seemed more respectful than having our baby taken from my womb and having the doctor take care of him.
I had a lot of people tell me to just have the D&E to get it over with (it was agonizing waiting to go into labor) but I knew it wasn't what I had wanted. My baby's soul may have been gone but I spent four months growing that precious little body and I wanted to count his little toes and fingers, see his face and cradle him in my hands.
To me it was worth the wait. He had deteriorated quite a bit but he was my baby. It was even obvious that he looked like my husband :) .
The decision is you and your wife's; make the one you will not regret. I know many who regret not seeing their baby but few who regret holding and seeing them. The OB should be willing to do an induction. So you have more options than the D&E or "wait".
Love and Prayers, Kelly
P.S. It is so difficult. My heart aches for your wife. I'll be praying for you both.
Eldian
04-07-2005, 03:31 PM
Well, it seems that everything turned out alright after all. Our doctor made some phone calls on Tuesday, and got us squeezed in at the hospital, where they induced labour... which was the ideal solution. We didn't even know it was an option, because they usually only induce if the miscarriage is after 20 weeks.
So, in the end, this was the best option for us. My wife was very distraught at the idea of sucking the baby out in pieces with a D&C. Inducing the labour ended up with her passing out the baby at about 1 in the morning, and everything went pretty well. There was concern that the placenta wouldn't follow, but the doctor managed to dig it out. (yeah, not the prettiest thing in the world, but it avoided having to have the D&C anyway).
And we got to see and hold the baby, which was a surprise for me, but in the end I was glad to have done it. Plus, by labouring it out we discovered that the umbilical cord had been wrapped around the baby's neck 3 times, which is likely the cause of death... this we would not have known, had we had a D&C.
So, thanks for all your feedback, everyone. Aside from the obvious crappiness of the situation, things went well, and I think that we've both got some closure, and are ready to start thinking about the possibility of moving forward.... maybe in a little while.
Peace, Love, and Light,
El.
ASDGRMama
04-07-2005, 06:17 PM
So glad to hear things went as well as possible all things considered. We felt the same way after the induction; that things just couldn't have gone better.
I also had some complications with the placenta. Doc had to do quite a bit of digging around.
I was induced in November when our baby died and I am now pregant again (about 5weeks 4 days). So there is hope :) .
I hope for the best for both of you!!
Love and Prayers, Kelly
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment