Last Pregnancy Symptoms & Analysis of Paranoia

I was just wondering why some of my pregnancy symptoms seemed to resolve after I moved from my apartment.

The water gushing out, I figured out was from the baths.

I also had very bad pain, usually when I was standing or walking, but also, after sleeping at night and that went away almost immediatly--the night pain.

I was extremely thirsty all the time, and drank well over 8 glasses a day of water and fluids, closer to 12 or more, but my lips were cracked as if I was dehydrated.

I also had scaley skin on my legs and itched incessantly. I used cocoa butter and took baths with some bathoil products, but it didn't help. My legs were so dry, I could literally see scales, and I used moisturizer every day.

I also wonder why this baby was never found to be moving very much, on ultrasound, when my son was so active.

It makes sense to me that the walking pain stopped, because I wasn't working after I moved and have been much more sedentary. The gushing water stopped and I know that was because I wasn't taking baths anymore and only showers. But it's sort of weird that my thirst was so excessive and just quit, and my legs almost immediately went back to normal and never itched anymore.

Also, I wonder why my symptoms of pain began after I told people I was pregnant, but not before, when I knew I was pregnant but no one else did. And I wonder why my red blood cell count was low when there was no explanation for it from a dietary standpoint, even being pregnant. Not only that, the results showed signs that I was dehydrated. Because red blood cell and hemoglobin was abnormally low but hemocrit was abnormally high. This can be a sign of dehydration and I felt dehydrated but I was drinking fluids all the time.

It just makes me wonder, I guess. I don't think anyone will do that much testing on my unborn when it happens, even if I ask, so I'll probably save and freeze tissue sample so sometime in my life, someone might be able to figure out if something else was going on, besides the cause of death. Because even that, I'm told, was strange and not likely. So why was my baby weak to begin with? Why couldn't my baby withstand a short MRI unless there was something going on before?

I just don't believe it was a genetic issue. I think it's odd, still, and the doctors were all shocked. So, I don't know, but I want someone to check things out for me. I read somewhere that you can freeze tissue from a miscarriage and this can be used to sort things out.

Yes, I sort of wonder about some kind of radiation. I don't think this immediately, but it does come to mind. The reason why this is not paranoia though, in the true sense, I will explain to you:

When I was held hostage, the guy was caught afterward. There was no reason to believe it might happen again. When I've been raped, and got distance from the person, I didn't worry it would happen again. When I had auto accidents, I figured it was accidental and didn't feel any fear getting into a car again. There are many things I've gone through and I don't worry about later.

What's different with the whole magnetic pulse issue, is that if it was happening at low levels, I wouldn't have even known. But the levels that were used when computer and electric toy problems were happening and my pain was so severe and my son and the cat even showed problems...that was obvious. It was extremely, extremely, painful and my body has not recovered and neither has my son's speech, to the way he was before. No one was caught. So that means it could happen again, at anytime. And I began having problems in D.C. with people as well, where they'd come into my workplace and harass me, and then there was the odd stalling by D.C. and Wenatchee CPS for months, when I was trying to do their services. I had people coming into my apartment and taking things and going through my food.

So, it is not paranoia to wonder if it might happen again, without my knowing even. It is also not entirely paranoid to consider the possibility that someone didn't like my family, or my father, or that my grandfather was in some kind of military intelligence and no one knew except the wrong people. This seems very unlikely, but I consider all of the options. I am fairly settled on the fact that my problems began with problems with the Catholic church and people they knew and used in the system and law enforcement, including some members of the FBI. However, I do, out of taking in the larger picture, try to examine other possibilities. That's not paranoia. That's being aware that if it happened at least once, and these people were not caught, it could happen again.

When the most horrible things happen, ones mind is opened to new possibilities you've never considered before. Which is why I believe those in intelligence fields have an easier time believing and understanding me. They have seen the most unbelievable things, done by humans to other humans, and undercover and in subterfuge. When you think something is totally out there and seems so unlikely, but you know it happened, you begin looking at the entire world with new eyes.

Then too, you meet people who confirm it is all possible, and that it's really the only explanation for all of those things happening at once, and you know there are people out there with an understanding of things that others don't have, and don't want to have.

You have lost your innocence. You have become wiser, but it is also a burden. It's not paranoia, but a new understanding of the possibilities in the world, on a new level. If someone isn't caught, it would be foolish to assume it could never happen again, when you know something like that had to be premeditated from the start. It's also frightening to think of what else could happen to my son, or to others, when no one is caught. It wasn't an accident, and it wasn't done in a flash of rage, in the heat of the moment. It was done deliberately, over a very long period of time and then people were around to cover it up and even to come up with propaganda against me so I wouldn't be believed. There is a reason my medical records disappeared from my house in Oregon. Someone wanted to know what they had to work with.

Today I will later be posting more of the emails I sent to the public defenders. I worked on getting jobs for my clients yesterday but everything was closed. I have a lot to do today.