Working on my Various Start-ups and music today

I noticed people today, who seemed to know who I was. One from NY with NY plates at least. Came up and then drove around. Yesterday, I don't know who this one guy was, but he kept driving back and forth. Not in a stalking way or "interest" in me romantically, but other interest. I could be totally wrong, but sometimes I get the vibe that I'm not. I don't know what it is in non-verbal signals that tips me off a bit, but I have been right about my guesses before. Well, and people know where I live now, so it's no secret.

I should add, though, I've also noticed some people who I think know who I am, who are curious about me, and who are not against me but who might believe me. I don't know how to put my finger on it...But someone just might stick up for me and my son afterall, and someone just might decide to become an informant, who has a very high position and a lot to lose. It is possible. I'm not sure why no one is saying anything yet, but I am hoping people are figuring out what I've been saying is true, probable, and fits every signal sign and symptom. I'm hoping someone has firsthand information and is willing to do something incredibly drastic to help me and my son. No one ever came forward for me, to clear my name, about the Abbey business and I really thought it would come from one of those monks. If anyone was going to have a guilty conscience, I was sure it might be one of them. But I'm more inclined to think, now, that God uses the clay vessel more often than the crystal vase. I think if someone comes forward, it may be the least likely person anyone would imagine. Either someone who does "bad things" for a living who has something of a heart, or someone in a high position who is a scientist or in intelligence and has information they are willing to lose their job over. My heart was broken over the fact that all these "christians" wouldn't stand up for me, but sometimes help from a most unexpected source.

No, I'm not worthy enough, if someone is waiting for me to be good enough or fit the bill enough for them to come forward for me. I just am who I am. I will never be good enough for some people, and helping me and my son will never be considered to be a worthy cause to others. I am not asking out of worthiness, I am asking from my heart, from one human being to another, for mercy. I am asking for the same basic rights I would personally give in return, to anyone else. And if I ever find out someone wanted to come forward but wasn't offered witness protection, I will personally hold those people accountable. I want to give back to someone who will give me and my son the chance that we need.

I called Granny today but had to get off right away because I started to cry. I would talk to her more, if no one else, but it makes me think about my son. I called to find out if anyone had heard from the Avilas, and no one has. So no one knows how my son is really doing, in Mexico. It was totally irresponsible for Douglas County to allow my son to be taken out of the country when there has been no termination of my parental rights. It was wrong. But who cares? because people get away with doing wrong, all the time.

I am making a lot of new friends where I live. I'm getting to know the people on the street, and they are from El Salvador, Honduras, Guatamala, and Mexico. Even the men who used to cat call, now address me with respect and I say hello, and they know I'm working for them. As soon as they discovered what I was about, we had a mutual respect for one another. I respect them, they respect me. I am working for them, and if anyone will have your back, no one should discount the loyalty of those in hispanic and Latino communities. Yes, there is a big obstacle in that I've been targeted by people in the catholic church and most Latinos are catholic. But I think and hope they see I am and have never been, against someone just because they're catholic. It's more about those who have positions in government and the system that have harmed me and done bad, not regular people. I cannot always trust others to be working in my best interest, but I know myself and they can trust me to know I am working for them.

I secured some more clients today. And they are passing my name around, word-of-mouth. Some different problems to think of, because some of the people who have come to me, are private contractors who have their own business for construction, plumbing, and electrical and mechanic services. So they are asking me if I can help them find work and private contracts and help them write up the contracts, in English. I never even thought about that angle, that I could assist private business owners who are hispanic, with things like contracts.

I really have to get a non-profit license. I'm looking into it.

The other thing is, some people think they would get ripped off by looking for work and getting paid later. But I trust these people and they trust me.

In the meantime, today some hispanic people took me to the library where I met a woman who teaches classes and she gave me contacts in the literacy department. There are a lot of free classes to learn English, so I have been very doubtful someone would pay ME to hold a class. But I have people coming to me, TELLING me to please do it, and they would pay, and know others who would pay too.

One compliment I always got, when I was a tutor, was that the students always told me I explained things better to them than their teachers. They would say, "You make it so easy" and I got referrals just for tutoring. I was also a little bit of a strict taskmaster. I didn't do their homework for them. I encouraged them to think for themselves, knowing it's the only way to learn, and they needed to learn and not just get a passing grade. So I met a lot of people this way and gave some private lessons as well. I think I'm good at making things clear. With children and with adults, on difficult or complex matters.

It's been a really long time though. And then, I wasn't doing a lot of lesson development. Some, but not a lot. It's been years, and I've not thought about doing this and I'm not familiar with what all the terminology for grammar is, like "predicate" and "infinitive" and all those terms. So I put a ton of books on hold, to go through and refresh my memory, including books on grammar, vocab, and idioms. And then this librarian gave me some things she had, on loan, that I didn't have to check out.

It sort of seems like more work than payoff, but I'm sure I could get a kick out of it, and do conversations around important work vocab, but also, on some "revolutionary" topics. I just might use teaching English for a front for our revolutionary fund-raising. Ha!

Really, I tell you what--I could make a TON of money being a prostitute here. I was telling my roommates that. I could be rich in a week. I told my roommates: "It's too bad I can't do it. Sometimes it sucks to have ethics!"

Aside from these things, I'm still looking into doing some gigs and singing.

Hearing this song, "Indigo Girl" by a group called Watershed. I like it. I guess the guy is from South Africa. I was listening to "The Indigo Girls" and then this came up as an offering, so I clicked on it.

I got information for me, too, on learning Spanish better. There are some computer lessons available online if you have a library card so I'll look into this. And still calling churches about helping pay for some evaluations and diagnostics.

Listened to "Like You Madly" by Just Jinger. and "Shallow Water" by Sylver. Just random stuff. Depeche Mode's "Enjoy the Silence". Will probably listen to new wave stuff.