Friday, December 19, 2008

Correspondence with Christa (before I knew she was a rat ) Sept. 1, 2006

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Re: Fwd: Re: Hey!
Friday, September 1, 2006 8:55 AM
From:
"loree baird"
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To:
"Christa Schneider"
YYYYYYYyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaayyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
Congratulations on your first class! I KNEW you'd be great! But how amazing!!! Don't you think?! IWhat a rush. I am seriously so proud of you. It is NOT easy (at least for me) to stand in front of lots of people I don't know and talk!!!! My eye twitches and my knees shake. How exciting!!!! I can't wait for you to read their responses too...Now, that's something you will do for pleasure and be paid for. After all the waitressing and admin. crap, I can't imagine how wondeful it would be to READ creative writing for a JOB!!! Get OUT! I have to find a card for you somewhere in celebration. Believe me, there is no card selection in Wenatchee like there is in Portland. But I'll find something. As for Rwanda Man, seeeya. Sounds good about the meat man. And I would feel the same about Brad the Dad (the Frrrreeeeeeaky...er, wants to get freeeeeaky, Dad). Robin hasn't responded to my e-mails. What a punk. I think he harbors resentment over how I've broken his heart in the past. I'll send another "hello" in a couple weeks and then if no response, adios. Who knows, maybe he doesn't even have any decent friends to set you up with. OR, he thinks you sound good HIMSELF and yet he's very involved with his current Lovahr. I wouldn't want you to be with HIM, for sure. Maybe someone he knows, but he's a good friend and not such a great bf. and not slightly generous at all!

Writing more abou tthe other stuff, from your e-mail at other address, soon. LOVE you, Cameo Have a great day and keep that smile on your grim NY-style face. Your ship will come in, with a...hey! sailors! SAILORS!!!! why didn't we think of them beFORE? I was just going along on a mind thread and was about to say man at the bow or "man at the helm" or something and then sailor popped into mind.

haha!

Christa Schneider wrote:

Ahhh! Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this. I think your analysis is correct and insightful. I have bagged Tielman, the Rwanda fucker, and the door is slightly adjar for meat man, if he ever emails and initiates a get-together. I think his shortcomings are just a little bit of insecurity. One girl really broke his heart and it's taking him a long time to decide on the next vixen. I think he's really afraid of me, but that's ok. If he has enough courage to initiate a get together then I'll give him a chance. Otherwise, I'm going for a black hip-hop dancer, I've decided. I don't know how I'll find him, but I will.
Brad is too old and too much of a man for me. I want more of an artist type, but I'm grateful to have him as a friend and contact. I would really be happy if he would take the time to build a friendship with me, but that's unlikely for obvious reasons...
Well, I just taught my first class and it went very well! I am very comfortable in front of 25 blank faces. I had them write an in class descriptive essay, can't wait to read the results.

Love you, will respond to the other emails separately..
Christa

loree baird wrote:

Hello Girl,

I am so tired, I just want to sleep. But here goes:
Okay, the two of you seem to be very in sync with eachother. I mean, reading your e-mails, you are both of the same intellectual caliber, even if on different levels and with different strengths. You do have some things in common, as in how to relate and what to talk about, and the tempo of your e-mails. It's like a dance, reading them, and neither one of you is stepping way out ahead of the other. I am glad you consistently sign with "xo" bc no matter what happens, it can stand for a lot or mean nothing at all. The very last e-mail from Ryan sounds relaxed and like he would get back together with you in a heartbeat. BUT, he casually says he's going out for drinks with the guys. Now that he's not with you, is it just about the guys? I don't think so. Either he's on the make now, or his friends are tyring to set him up. He could be looking for physical hooking up more than anything. I think he would hook up with soeone else and still write you and want to get back together with you. HOWEVER, again, are we 100% sure he wasn't trying to force you into making the decision to cut it off finally? so he didn't have to be "the bad guy"? I mean, subconsciously, even if not consciously? bc he really was not doing what he had to do, and STILL, he should KNOW what he has/had to do, and he's not budging. I think he'd hook up with you, no strings attached, or get back together with you. Would it lead to marriage or engagement? I seriously can't say I know. I still think he would have to do something more significant to really prove he's there for you, misses you, wants you, can't live without you, and will spend the rest of his life with you. And then again, thenyou'd be stuck dealing with his boring friends and the fact that you have many areas of yourself that you would either end up starving or trying to fill with something else and end up dissatisfied.
Your poop story was really funny. I read it before reading his poop story and wondered what in the world kind of relationship you guys had and then I saw you were following a train of thought and it wasn't ann out of the blue way to start an e-mail. I thought it was great how you added you've been asked to teach class NUMBER TWO at the college, bc you did it in a casual way but it makes you sound great, secure, and like you're going places. Also, it was so wise of you to go to Brazil and get out of NYC for awhile. I would keep doing that sort of thing as much as you can--take whatever detours will get you away from Ryanville or will distract you. How's the sex drain going? Do you feel like things are getting better for you? as in, is the desire (frightening as it is) subsiding some and are you missing the intimacy less? or are you craving it more and if so, with anyone and in general or specifically with Ryan? I think the first 3 months is hardest, 6 months is much better, and if you go one year, it's like you're a virgin all over again. Right now, I feel like a virgin myself. Well, one ripped out, stretched out virgin. One of these days though, if I don't meet my match, I may enlist you to buy me a vibrator and mail it to me in brown paper packaging, if I am too embarrassed to do it myself. If you get one for me, way down in the future, you have to get one too. Two for the price of one or something. I can wait until I'm a little older though and slightly more resigned. Or who knows, since my own sex drive has disappeared, from nursing I think, and traumatic childbirth, I'm feeling very comfortable right now. No crazy urges, thank you Jesus. MAN! but when they are strong, and when I wasn't pregnant and now, with child, it was crazy. Okay, back to you and Ryan. I'd date people in NYC, and don't give up. I would even try the personality profile for fun to see if someone turns up who lives next door to you and try that too. I mean, maybe see what "TYPE" of guy turns up and/or see if some of the ideas from the profile could make you reconsider what you're looking for or what you may need. I know it's terrible but I found it to be insightful. I was sort of surprised. But you are soooo gorgeous, for you of course I wouldn't use it to really find someone. I'd just use it for fun or as a tool, or if you wanted, to spice up the internet writing life with someone you have a lot in common with. It's totally anonymous so no one would know, and no one gets to know about you or even see a photo unless you're ready and after they've passed whtever questions and tests you pose. Ryan Barnes should take the test. I wonder how his "results" or profile would turn out. It would be so interesting if both of you were to take it and compare results. I wish. I mean, that would be enlightening. Maybe you could suggest it as a sort of joke or for fun, or tell him your crazy friend Cameo has begged you or him to do it, or whatever. Okay, well, onto reality...You do not sound desperate in your e-mails. You're perfect. Friendly and someone any guy would want to keep in touch with and date but you don't sound "interested" or like you're coming on to him. You sound warm, friendly, etc. as he does. I think, by dropping the bit about his family mentioning seeing your sister etc, that he was trying to suggest, discreetly, how well you "fit" in eachother's lives. Like, your families are connected and you should be too. And he brings up his nephew and why would he talk about kids unless he's actually trying to make you think about him in a good daddy role. ? He's sort of bringing up issues he's dealing with. He talks about Jacob but really he's wondering when/how/if he should start his own family. He's taking notes, and passing on his observations to you and then waiting for your response. I think he wants you to miss him. To see him as the perfect catch and husband and father and friend, but yet he's not willing to put himself out there. Either that, or he has totally platonic feelings for you, is relieved it's over, and is moving on but loves you dearly as a person he invested in and wants to stay in touch with. Or maybe he thinks he might still be able to hoook up with you, on a whim. Maaaan, Christa, I don't know! I think he respects you==that's for certain. Does he TRUST you? to not divorce him and go after al lhis money? I'm not so sure. Is that car accident guy the one he was dealing with over a year ago, that he was going after "on principle" which made you so disgusted? If so, he is certaintly one to hold a grudge, or really go after someone who pushes his buttons. It would just be so nice to know what all of his wonderful buttons are....

Well, if you decide to totally bag any of the NYC guys you've been writing, let me know. Especially the meat man, because since he sends out chain mail or whatever, I'll make it sound lilke all these people all over the world are reading his mail bc it's being passed around so freely and I'll be like, "sooo! wasssup?! dude! I LOVE your stories and everything, I read them to my mom and dad. They're vegetarians...and into social causes and so they totally support what you're doing". and then I'll write the guy in Rwanda and ask him who he's fucking. I swear, on a hunch, he's doing it over there. Social causes, hah! He's gettin' it on.

Alright, tell me what you think about the Ryan analysis. It's not very good right now bc I'm so tired and I didn't reread it. If I get some more time, I'll read it again and come up with more ideas after I dissect it more thoroughly and look for clues better.

Thinking of you as always and love you. Good luck with class prep and your teaching. Glad you're back, safe and sound. Pray for me and I'll pray for you!!!
I am going to buy some wine next week. I get "paid" on the first, and I have really been looking forward to some red wine.

Alright, seeya, Cameo :)

Christa Schneider wrote:

ps. Did you get the emails I sent to your other address? If not, I can forward them. Here is my total correspondence with Ryan. Tell me what you think. I´m not interested at all, but it´s always tempting to analyze how the ex´s feel about you.
Love you
*I had to cut and paste the last two b/c they were separate from the other.
********************************

She is so smart! I am very impressed :). Anyway, I spent today on the phone with my lawyer as we finally tracked down Arni Young, the guy who wrecked my car. The loser actually left his wife and 3 kids in Oregon and went back to Phoenix... so sad. I spoke to his parents who said he refuses to provide child support. Now I am really pissed and am going after him more on principal than the $12K he owes me. Okay, I'll get off my soap box now and take a deep breath. I am going to head to the gym and then go to San Fran to meet the guys for drinks. Enjoy your last weekend and we'll catch up soon.

Love,

Ryan

***************************************

I have to brag, my god-daughter is amazing, out of this world. Lindsey´s been sending me these... when I was on the plane about to take off from NY, Skyler sang to me for about 4 minutes and it was perfect, so great. She´s a little poet.
I´m sure you´ll have some crazy Columbia mishap... but hopefully no fights with inanimate objects this time! One of my friends just spent the summer in Bogota and had a fantastic time (the women are stunning, I guess), but was very cold, huddled up in sweaters and blankets. That will probably be a nice break for you from the NY heat...
Thanks so much for being in touch, is really great to hear from you. I hope the wedding is a blast. With all of Dan´s planning, I´m sure it will be!
By the way, Lindsey made it into the most prestigious NY market show (Bubble NY) with her dresses and was there in early August - one of 50 designers around the world chosen for this show - so now her line has taken off! She´s in magazines and everything. I´m so proud of her.
See you in Sept.
xo


Ryan Barnes wrote:

Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2006 16:20:02 -0700 (PDT)
From: Ryan Barnes
Subject: Re: Hey!
To: Christa Schneider

That is the funniest story about Ania! I can't stop laughing.... too funny... yet cute. Anyway, it sounds like you are having an incredible time despite being sick. Enjoy your last few days and I'll give you a ring when I get back to New York in the middle of September. Let's hope we don't get into any trouble down in Columbia/Panama!!

Talk soon,

Ryan

Christa Schneider wrote:

Ania gets candy too, whenever she poops, and when she was in Portland she insisted on two one day because there was a sinker and a floater. She showed my dad that when you cocked your head to the side, you could see them both. What a funny age. Sorry about your accident with Jacob, I wouldn't want to endure that either!
I'm in Sao Paulo now, and sick AGAIN. Urgh. I've explored a lot of the city so far, so today I guess I'll just hang in a cafe and read... prepare for teaching this fall. I was given a second class, I'm very excited to have two. I'm staying in an area that is very similar to Soho, lots of shops, cafes, restaurants, museums nearby, etc. I've been running in a large park similar to Central Park... but now I'll just have to sit my sorry ass down. That sucks. I can't tell you how much I miss running by the ocean. My last day, one of my students who practices Kung Fu took me running and kicked my ass hardcore. We ran about 6 miles, and he was booking it, I was dying. I had also smoked 4 cigarettes the night before, so pain was the key word. I have yet to speak with a native English speaker - all the people I've met here are Brazilian, Dutch, French, Portugese and German. So many internationals in Sao Paulo.
I fly out at 9pm on Saturday night (26th), returning Sunday morning at 6 or 7am. I'm staying with Janine for a few days because I don't want to intrude on my subleaser. I teach my first class on Monday morning at 8am, yikes.
When you return from your travels give me a call... I think I'll have a cell again by then! I have no idea, it's dead and broken. Don't even think it will turn on. Perhaps email will be more secure.
Good luck with your decisions, I hope you choose what makes you happy, or that you'll be happy with whatever you choose.
xo
Christa


Ryan Barnes wrote:

I miss Aliecat too..... However, I am sure she is happy to have me gone :(. I just got back from Portland and had a good time celebrating my mom's birthday. Devin had his annual summer bash which actually was not really that great. I guess we are getting too old! Anyway, Jacob is getting potty trained so I had to give him a sticker and a sucker every time he sat down and went to the bathroom. He is quite proud of his Elmo big boy underpants. However, I was on a conference call yesterday and he decided to go in the middle of the floor while I was babysitting. It was pretty messy.... not sure I am ready to have kids soon!

It sounds like you are having a really good time down there. When do you get back to NYC? My lease is up in September so I am trying to figure out what to do. I want to stay through the end of the year but do not want to move twice. I really enjoy the Bay Area so I am torn. Anyway, let me know when you get back in town and we'll catch up.

Love,

Ryan

Christa Schneider wrote:

Yes, I heard from Mark... he won´t be near where I am, which is unfortunate because this is the most amazing place in the world... since I´ve been everywhere, I know, haha. Glad to hear things are well with you. I totally remember the kids who got the Washington firecrackers vs our lame fireworks. Was always jealous. I don´t even know where to begin, really. Life is good. Brazil is amazing, teaching is fantastic... I´ve already learned Portugese, especially on Saturday night when I was wasted at the "clube." I will leave in two weeks to spend six days in Sao Paulo before heading back to NY. I´m very glad I´ve missed the heat there, sounds miserable. Apologies for my English- I am the only native English speaker here, so vocabulary has been limited. Everyone else (teachers and tourists) are Austrian, Italian and Swiss. I´ve made some amazing friends. I am really glad to hear from you, and it sounds like things are good. I´m very happy to hear that. Right now life for me is quite simple. My runs on the beach are the most important part of my day - everyday at sunrise for one hour. I also have been taking capoeira, Afro-Brazilian martial arts/dance. NYSC has classes, and I hope they are true to real tradition because I love it. Very difficult workout. My calves are enormous now, haha. The ocean is mint green, and when I run by it I get totally lost. I completely lose myself, I don´t know how else to say it. Since no one speaks English well here, I´ve learned to build relationships without a lot of words... can you imagine me without a lot of words? Crazy. But the silence on my runs, with just the ocean, is the best thing I´ve ever known. Silence is good. At night, Parajuru is completely dark and silent, and windy. I´ve seen 7 shooting stars so far. I´m not looking forward to returning to New York, but once I´m there, I´m sure I´ll be happy to be home. I miss Aliecat, definitely. I hope she´s surviving the heat. I don´t really miss Oregon, but definitely Tahoe.
I hope Dan and Andrea´s wedding is great, please send my love and congratulations.

xo
Christa

Ryan Barnes wrote:

Hey Stranger,

How is Brazil? I gave Mark Peters your e-mail address since he is going there for a few weeks. I am not sure if he will be in your area but it would be cool for you to connect. So how is life down there? Are you enjoying the kids? NYC is incredibly hot this summer so I have been trying to spend a lot of time in San Francisco and Portland which has been nice. As for work, both companies are moving along and things are well. I head to Columbia on September 2nd for Dan and Andrea's wedding which will be a nice vacation. Vaniman and I have been coordinating with four other guys to travel to Cartagena and Panama City through the 12th. I am really looking forward to it. In other news, my mom mentioned that your sister and nieces came over to play with Jacob and Lindsay's kids. I guess everyone seems to be doing well. I spent the 4th in Portland and put on a little fireworks display for my brother's family and his in-laws. It kind of sucked because I bought all of the legal fireworks sold in Oregon that, as you know, are not that great. Kent's next door neighbor had gone to Washington and had some professional rockets that the kids loved. Mia turned to me at one point and said, "Uncle Ryan, your fireworks are lame." I guess she won't be getting a Christmas gift this year :). Anyway, I just wanted to check in to see how you're doing.

Love,

Ryan

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Cameo,I recently discovered this blog, and after reading several of these posts I want to say that I have only loved you. It has been a very long time since I've heard from you, and I am surprised to find that you think I have wished any ill-will upon you and your son. I see that you are under duress, and I am sad to know that. I only hope for your happiness, as I still love you for the dear friend you have been in my life. Christa

Mama said...

I'm not surprised you'd find a time to write. It is a good move for you, isn't it? to act as though you are responsible for nothing when you know as well as I do, what you've done and what you've been involved with. I also think it's strange that you "suddenly" found this blog and I note your comment about my being "under duress" which is the standard excuse for things that have been done and said to discredit me.

I was warned about you, as being "psycho" by your former roommate and I should have listened. I didn't know if you were involved or not and if the leaks regarding my litigation with the abbey were from bugging or because of you, but I played you out long enough to find out the truth. information was leaked OUT, but I couldn't say whether you spread the information that I gave to you ALONE, or whether someone was listening in to my conversations. Then, I waited, and it was YOUR QUESTIONS which confirmed you had been a part of this.

Not only that, you desperately wanted me to believe you'd arrived at the church you met me at BEFORE I ever knew the monks which was untrue. You were the one to ask me exactly what I was going to wear to Stephanie Maiers wedding shower, down to the details, and you NEVER cared about those things, in the 7 years I'd known you, until then. You wanted to know how I was doing my eyes, my hair, curled and up or not, and what dress, what shoes, and lipstick, and then you asked me what gift I would give Stephanie if I could give her whatever I wanted. At the same time, you were telling me to send you all of my undeveloped film, which you knew had photos of you on it, and my "book" I lied and told you I was writing, about the abbey business. You said you would have it "edited" for me.

I went to that shower and Karine, Steph's friend whose family is involved in NY FBI, was wearing an exact imitation of what I told you I would be wearing. She had her hair curled and up in a high ponytail like mine, and red lipstick on like mine, and a leopard print dress on like the one only you had seen me wear, to the neckline and length, and style. She was wearing the same shoes, and she gave Stephanie the exact gift I said I would want to give her, if I could afford it, a large crystal vase from Tiffany's and when Steph opened the gift, Karine looked directly at me, watching for my reaction. She then took Steph out for breakfast and said crap about me along with some social worker friend that was there. That was not a "coincidence" and YOU were the one asking all the questions and getting the info. You were also the one, the ONLY one, I told about when and where I was filing some important legal motions in ORegon, and someone from the Abbey's team "just happened" to be sitting there, waiting ahead of me, and KNEW I was going to file something and then served ME first instead, because they had foreknowledge and anticipated what I was doing. They didn't just "guess" this. They were waiting at the courthouse at a specific time.

You were my "friend" until you had taken me out enough, where you thought I would self-destruct from the different guys you had along, to find me in an intoxicated state. You were the only one who always knew where I was going.

I thought, I can't be certain, and for years, I put off absolute judgement, until that wedding shower, and then your questions afterwards about WHY had I NOT worn what I had told you I was going to wear? which Karine wore to match me. You then began asking questions about how I would least like to die and after getting this information and finding out I was NOT giving you the film or the "book", and after I told you some pyshcologist had said I should be locked up, you never called again. You had everythying you needed, and the assurance, you thought, that a psychologist would say I was nuts and this would cover what you'd done.

You're sick, and you've always been sick, and I'm the only one to know it or who has known it. I know you are one of the most vindicative women I've ever met, and you used to tell ME your plans to make people "pay" for upsetting you. You actually plotted and premeditated how to "get revenge" and you threatened me when you found out I'd let Dick WHittemore know I found out about the one piece of info you gave me, about his synchronized swimmer girlfriend. You then called me and threatened me, and I let it slide but I was more careful after that. the only reason I continued to be "friends" with you was to find out what you were up to. I stopped trusting you years before we quit talking, and I quit calling and you never called or wrote after asking me how I would most hate to die, and I told you torture would be worst.

You plotted against your own ex-boyfriends about how you would make them "pay" and I think you actually thought at some point, maybe you'd take me in and cover me even on your team. The lawyer who offered me a settlement iwth the Abbey with a gag plan, came after I talked to you.

But then I said some things to you that you didn't like, including something about the nun who was raped, and how I wondered if they ever got a taste of their own medicine and suffered the way they made me suffer. You stiffened and became hateful after that.

You were never a "born again christian". You are a baptised catholic who has been screwed up for a long time, and who used me for your own gain and the gain of others, and now you hope to write in as if nothing has happened and you're an old concerned friend.

You know very well who you are and what you are.

I didn't come to my conclusions about you impetuously. I took years. I wanted to be SURE it wasn't someone else, through surveillance, and that could have been going on too, but I knew about you, because you revealed youself through your questions and comments.

Funny how you just disappeared after asking me about torture, and write in now.

Don't write again, bitch. If I see you again, it will be after you've been caught and are being held accountable for what you've done. I don't expect you to ever pay. You have enough connections that you knew you never had to be worried.

I am scared for any man who is close to you, and for those you get close to in any way.

I learned a lot from you though. What you did, you should win an award for. You are so smug, you even write to me now, and pass this all off as my "duress".

It's convenient, the times in my life you've appearred and then disappeared and then appeared. You were only around when you needed information and you were worried about what I was up to.

You'll burn in hell, and it's too bad I'll never have a front row seat to see it. Then again, you may get your repayment in this lifetime on this earth, and that would be true justice.

Do not write on my blog again and do not ever come near me or my son. I will have a restraining order against you so fast your head will swivel.

It's too bad your mother has you for a daughter. She was a sweet woman.