Love Letters From Benedictine Monk To Married Woman

letter preceding the attachments (I'll have to figure out how to get these off pdf and edited). Hmmm. Just tried another copy/paste and it screws up the language. So to edit and get it out, I'll have to transcribe directly. I'll be careful not to make any mistakes and to only edit out the personal names as requested. The rest will be intact. I did manage to copy a column from "Mike" about affairs, or emotional affairs, which came through fairly well, but the emails I have to transcribe:

Here are a few of the emails sent between the ex and the Benedictine Monk who is also a Catholic Priest. All of these occurred the last two years of our marriage.

I put my trust in your hands with this information. Use it wisely.
***********************************************************************************
From: Basil David Burns (bazburns@hotmail.com)
To: (omitted)
Sent: Tuesday, February 19, 2002 1:23 AM
Subject: Bisexual Wolverines

From: (omitted)
To: Basil David Burns
Subject: Re: Rainbow
Date: Mon, 18 Feb 2002 19:13:38--0600

Okay. You sent me a blank e-mail, AGAIN! Mr. Computer wiz????????

Love,
D.

Dear D.,

You wonder why I don't send more e-mail. Well, it's because I actually *do* sent it but it just doesn't get delivered! I thanked you for taking time out of your day to travel--tht was very kind of you, and I appreciate the lunch and the company. I had fun. I also explained myself for so-called "staring" at you in class.

1) I know you better than the rest of the guys, so I can mess with your mind.
2) You provided the best scenery within 20 feet, so why not look?

As for the oaks, let me know. Sounds interesting. Here is some of my recent verse

She's aware that true love is a cross
and perhaps that is why she abides
in the green, secret garden where my heart is lost
In the trails of her wandering eyes

Whaddya think? One condition: please don't share it with anyone. It's rather personal. Anyway, it's late and I have to rest.

Love,
Basilio
***************************************************************************



You don't have to have sex for it to be an affair
'Emotional affairsr'where there is a deep connection without physical
affection' can be just as damaging as the real thing, says Dr, Gaii Saltz
By Dr. Gail Saltz
"Today" contributor
Updated: 9:13 p.m. ET Aug. L7,2OA5
After speaking about emotional affairs on the "Today" Show, I received
dozens of letters. I'd like to share some more thaughts about this
topic.
Emotional affairs, for those not familiar with the term, are
relationships that involve considerable emotional intimacy. Not every
affair involves sex. These ARE still affairs. They are as serious as
physical affairs, and maybe more serious.
In fact, both men and women tend to be more devastated if a spouse
or partner says they are love with someone else than if they have had
a one-night stand.
An emotional affair often continues for years, largely because people
don't acknowledge, even to themselves, that it's an affair, and
therefore dont deal with it. Denial to both themselves and their
partner is common for those wanting to continue an emotional affair.
This wdy, the cheater is guilt-free. After all, they claim, if there is no
sex, it can't possibly be an affair!
But the truth is that an affair is all about secrecy and betrayal, where
intimacies are shared with an outsider instead of your significant
other. Here are some signs to watch out for:
o Are you (or your spouse) keeping meetings and conversations on the
sly?
o Are you concealing how much time you spend together?
r Are you turning to someone else for emotional needs?
o Are you worried about getting "caught"?
l- li
I
I Even if there is no touching, these are all signs of an emotional affair.
I
IV With the ease of communication these days, especially via the ' Internet, lots of Beople are "just falling" into emotional affairs. They
encounter someone in the normal course of events - it's often a
colleague/ someone they used to know, or someone long-distance - become interested, and grow more and more intimate. There is usually
a sexual attraction, acknowledged or not, Those feelings of having a
"crush" provide an emotional high that becomes addictive and
perpetuates the relationship - and that makes it tough to stop.
And y€t, it's a slippery slope on the way to a threatened marriage or
long-term relationship. If they know about the friendship, the other
partner usually feels increasingly uncomfoftable, or suspicious, or
excluded, when it comes to the other's 'tgood friend."
About half of such emotional involvements do eventually turn into fullblown
affairs, sex and all.
To presetve your marriage, treat an emotional affair like a classic
affair. Break off all involvement immediately. There is no middle
ground and no "remaining friends." If this is someone in the
workplace, keep your relationship strictly business. If your marriage
isnt satisfactory, channel your emotional energy toward each other,
not toward an outsider.
People rarely consider how valuable their marriage is to them until it is
at risk.
Dr. Gail's Bottom Line: It's easy to deny the seriousness of an
emotional affair - but it can be extremely threatening to a marriage.
Gail Saltz is a psychiatrist with New York
sbyterian Hospital and a regular contributor
R cal "Today." Her latest book, "Amazing You!
etting Smart About Your Private
'arts" (Penguin), helps parents deal with
reschoolers' questions about sex and
uction. Her first book, "Becoming Real:
vercoming the Stories We Tell Ourselves That
Id Us Back," was published in 2004 by


You don't have to have sex for it to be an affair
'Emotional affairsr'where there is a deep connection without physical
affection' can be just as damaging as the real thing, says Dr, Gaii Saltz
By Dr. Gail Saltz
"Today" contributor
Updated: 9:13 p.m. ET Aug. L7,2OA5
After speaking about emotional affairs on the "Today" Show, I received
dozens of letters. I'd like to share some more thaughts about this
topic.
Emotional affairs, for those not familiar with the term, are
relationships that involve considerable emotional intimacy. Not every
affair involves sex. These ARE still affairs. They are as serious as
physical affairs, and maybe more serious.
In fact, both men and women tend to be more devastated if a spouse
or partner says they are love with someone else than if they have had
a one-night stand.
An emotional affair often continues for years, largely because people
don't acknowledge, even to themselves, that it's an affair, and
therefore dont deal with it. Denial to both themselves and their
partner is common for those wanting to continue an emotional affair.
This wdy, the cheater is guilt-free. After all, they claim, if there is no
sex, it can't possibly be an affair!
But the truth is that an affair is all about secrecy and betrayal, where
intimacies are shared with an outsider instead of your significant
other. Here are some signs to watch out for:
o Are you (or your spouse) keeping meetings and conversations on the
sly?
o Are you concealing how much time you spend together?
r Are you turning to someone else for emotional needs?
o Are you worried about getting "caught"?
l- li
I
I Even if there is no touching, these are all signs of an emotional affair.
I
IV With the ease of communication these days, especially via the ' Internet, lots of Beople are "just falling" into emotional affairs. They
encounter someone in the normal course of events - it's often a
colleague/ someone they used to know, or someone long-distance - become interested, and grow more and more intimate. There is usually
a sexual attraction, acknowledged or not, Those feelings of having a
"crush" provide an emotional high that becomes addictive and
perpetuates the relationship - and that makes it tough to stop.
And y€t, it's a slippery slope on the way to a threatened marriage or
long-term relationship. If they know about the friendship, the other
partner usually feels increasingly uncomfoftable, or suspicious, or
excluded, when it comes to the other's 'tgood friend."
About half of such emotional involvements do eventually turn into fullblown
affairs, sex and all.
To presetve your marriage, treat an emotional affair like a classic
affair. Break off all involvement immediately. There is no middle
ground and no "remaining friends." If this is someone in the
workplace, keep your relationship strictly business. If your marriage
isnt satisfactory, channel your emotional energy toward each other,
not toward an outsider.
People rarely consider how valuable their marriage is to them until it is
at risk.
Dr. Gail's Bottom Line: It's easy to deny the seriousness of an
emotional affair - but it can be extremely threatening to a marriage.
Gail Saltz is a psychiatrist with New York
sbyterian Hospital and a regular contributor
R cal "Today." Her latest book, "Amazing You!
etting Smart About Your Private
'arts" (Penguin), helps parents deal with
reschoolers' questions about sex and
uction. Her first book, "Becoming Real:
vercoming the Stories We Tell Ourselves That
Id Us Back," was published in 2004 by