listening to whitney houston.
listened to sound of music's "climb ev'ry mountain" first.
then some whitney and now "heartbreak hotel". gonna be an r&b day. "i learned from the best". i'm listening to fighting songs tonight.
this baby did not die in vain. this baby is watching over its brother and had to die to save me and my son. God knew it was the only way the truth would be revealed and that i would begin putting 2 and 2 together and get diagnostics. this baby never should have died and it could have been prevented and this baby did not die in vain, nor has my son been through this suffering in vain.
i am calling up that law firm that wanted my case back when, and i'm calling other firms as well, if they don't still want it. my damages can prove damages of my son and i can prove conspiracy between the state workers in wenatchee and wenatchee medical professionals, to cover up a traumatic injury THEY are responsible for. if my cervix was damaged enough to allow water IN, it was severely damaged, and the prolapse that washington state doctors claimed was no big deal, was a big FUCKING deal.
i'm listening to some random whitney songs. this one, "same script, different cast". then a cox song, don't remember. just r&b. now toni braxton "unbreak my heart". hmmm. not really fighting songs. just following the youtube offerings as they pop up, you know how it is. mariah carey, "hero".
now i want to know something. am i a supposed "narcissist"? or am i just fucking smarter than the average person? how come i am the one to figure out all of my own damages and medical problems? how come i have to answer all of my own fucking questions? i'm fucking sick of living with idiots and cover-their-Asses. i'm not a "hero"--i'm a fucking survivor in a world of very serious incompetence and corruption and i'm fucking SICK of this.
why do I have to answer ALL of my own questions? why do I have to play detective and investigator and analyst and medical specialist to MYSELF? and i have fucking idiots trying to displace blame from themselves, for their ignorance and mistakes, by claiming I'M the one who's mentally ill. I am ILL from the ignorance i am surrounded by. i am ILL from the lack of integrity and incompetence. I am fucking SICK to my stomach.
just remembered, listening to this song again, i had a dream about princess diana last night. i totally forgot. in the dream, she was singing. that's all it was. i don't even remember what songs, but in my dream i remember being surprised because she was good. her voice sort of matched her speaking voice. i have no idea why i dreamed this except it was probably because i think about her time to time and about her case as i'm figuring my own stuff out as well. anyway, she was happy, and she was singing.
listened to "i still believe" by mariah. hearing "i'll be there". "love takes time" and i like this one a lot--"when i saw you" i don't remember hearing this one before. like "now that i know" too, just sort of basic pop stuff, but okay for now. i'm too pissed to write an OIG after realizing more of my damages and what was wrong with my pregnancy. i have a tension headache right now too. not a migraine, a regular full frontal lobe tension headache. now i'm listening to "do you think of me" just a bunch of mariah stuff. i used to be able to sing "love takes time" really well, when i was a young teenager. i'm going to look up information about embalming and the effects on pregnancy hormone in the blood, etc.
I read this on wiki: It was rumored that after her death Diana, Princess of Wales was hastily embalmed to cloud tests that she may have been pregnant. However if this were the case an autopsy would still have easily been able to determine such an obvious condition and the rumour is just urban myth. The British inquest into her death, concluded in April 2008, revealed that the princess's remains were decomposing so rapidly in the August heat that the hospital holding her had no choice but to embalm her, to keep her in viewable condition when Prince Charles came to visit later that day.[8][Telegraph.co.uk, 7 April 2008].
that's the most bizarre excuse. they couldn't wait a few hours??? but they put pope john paul II out in a casket with no embalming at all, for everyone to see? i am also wondering if they left her organs in, after embalming to the waist, because i'm reading a post-embalming autopsy is different because organs are removed. i'm "guessing" the organs were left in, but i don't know. haven't seen the records. but i still want to know, one way or the other, if they were left in, would embalming fluids alter hormones or blood? also, was an autopsy done after the embalming? i would guess not, for dignity reasons, but i'm curious.
hearing "i've been thinking about you" by carey. and i found something about embalming. i'd like to see the exact scientific documents for myself, but the doctor in the inquiry admitted he could not have known if diana was pregnant if she was only a month or so along, and he also admitted the embalming would disrupt the ability to find HCG, or pregnancy hormone, in her urine or blood. i read this from article by daily express/UK. listened to "honey", and like it. just chill music.
so now i read a sample of diana's blood was found on the floor of the mercedes and it was tested by a leading world expert. it found no pregnancy hormone. which doesn't completely satisfy me, because i think of other possibilities--knowing how wenatchee covered up so much, how police and fbi covered up, and the abbey planted stories about me...i am not so easily satisfied. why would dodi lie? or his dad i mean? i accept his testimony until ...
okay i was right in the middle of writing this and then 3 different viruses popped up...all identified as trojans. then it showed the firewall was turned off and i didn't turn it off. i turned it back on. we have anti virus and spyware programs for this computer.
so, i was saying...it is possible the expert lied, or had the sample tampered with. it is also possible, perhaps something was put in dianas food or drink and she had a missed miscarriage and didn't know it and thought she was still pregnant, or something altered the hcg before the crash because if it was premeditated, someone would have thought about the possibility of blood, or it is possible she had a missed miscarriage naturally. why would dodi's family lie? the fayed family was close to the spencers for years before diana dated this guy. the father lost his own son so why would he be in on something dirty? it doesn't make sense.
listening to "we belong together" and i just got 4 new msgs of trojan and suspicious files. one suspicious file and 3 trojan attempts. yes! i love this song by carey "you'll always be my baby" okay, i just had 5 more trojan and suspicious files come in. i was denying access, but then i read,the files can be analyzed better through quarantine and then after i moved them to quarantine, the firewall notification said firewall was off again and i had to turn it on again. i just talked to my roommates and they said it's been doing this all day. they've had to delete multiple attempts and had problems keeping the firewall on. i asked if this was new and they said yes, they'd never noticed this happen before.
this i like too: "baby i know what you want" busta rhymes ft. mariah. yay, "what's love" with fat joe and ashanti. okay, back to di. wanna see if there's something that can alter hcg while someone is still alive. oh, and you gotta know, that phone call, about di being pregnant, was probably intercepted by intelligence somewhere. if they had di under surveillance you know they had her prime bf monitored. if she was pg, people knew that she didn't necessarily want to know. "lean back" by fat joe. this is a get up n go song. the idea came to me, which means nothing bc i have both good and bad ideas, and i've thought it before, but something is off with rosa monkton. something about a rose too. just spilling out thoughts that are NOT logical, just train of thought--don't make anything of it...silver, crystal chandelier, marble floors?, tray, gun, silver gun. anyway,random string and now i'm going back to logic, to find out if something alters hcg in living blood and i'm still wondering if her organs were removed in her lower half bc of the embalming, leaving only urine and blood as possibilities for analysis. i don't necessarily think the embalmer was in on it if, it is possible he tells the truth, he got the instructions from someone who was british. i'm wondering too, when al fayed got the pg news. before rosa claims di had a period? did di tell dodi she was pg and then miscarry? if the info was after rosa saw di...it's also possible to "know" you're pg before even taking a test. i knew i was pg with my last one, one week after conception and then all the facts and evidence proved it and i also knew when something was wrong, instinctively and i noticed body changes immediately after mri. di seems like someone who was very in tune with her body. i haven't found anything yet, that is supposed to alter hcg. yes, i'm procrastinating on my own life issues. we probably started getting trojan stuff today after i wrote i was writing the oig report today. i don't know. who knows. listening to "always be my baby" again. if there is nothing that can alter hcg in blood than the only possible idea to differentiate is if the leading expert lied or if his sample was tampered with. "i still believe" by carey. "anytime you need a friend".
here's something, but it's not a science article and i'd have to look more closely at this: http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/667195. the interactions of certain herbs on hcg. tea?
I found this about urine for false-negative with hcg: Use of carbamazepine also could cause a false-negative result.
listening to "i don't wanna cry" and now, "always be my baby" (AGAIN)
i'm seeing something about false negative blood test and high blood sugar but i have to look into it.
i do NOT feel good. no pain, but the worst tension headache of my life and my boobs are killing me. maybe it's just from the run? i have rumblings in my stomach but so far, nothing's happened. i took my last xanax last night. i have no more left and there's no advil or tylenol in the house and i don't feel like walking to the store. i guess i'm smoking pot. eww....but that might make my tension headache worse...for some reason it does this to me sometimes. but i don't feel very good.
I wonder if diana had this done--it would confirm a pregnancy within 48 hours of conception, so this says. It's called a Rosette Inhibition Assay...
Health >> Pregnancy Test EPF Using HCG Lateral Flow Technology. A pregnancy test refers to the test that is conducted to find out if a lady is pregnant or not. The test that is initially carried out for pregnancy is a rosette inhibition assay for Early Pregnancy Factor (EPF). In a span of 48 hours from the time when fertilisation took place EPF can be diagonised in the blood. The EPF testings incurr lot of costs and takes a longer time.
if i were someone like diana, and suspected i could have become pregnant and wanted to know right away, for any reason, and cost wasn't a factor, and i was well-informed about health matters and liked research or had friends who did...hmmm...i would probably have a Rosette Assay done.
Hmmm...and if I did, in that case, I could be pregnant and yet if it was too early, the HCG might not even be present in amounts detectable through blood and urine.
am i hired? does anyone want to hire me yet? ;)
note to self: think outside of the box.
nothing's firm yet. still have to research the quality controls of the test, and need to find out more about other things which could cause false-negative in blood...is high blood sugar one of them? are there other factors?
i did see a rose. i related it to rosa. then i thought, no, rose, and then thought of some other things. maybe i was getting an idea for the rosette before i found it. maybe it was just creative blipping. all i know, is that i pay attention, but i don't trust it or rely on it over logic and reason.
someone please give me a job where i can investigate stuff and use my brain. hmm...wait! i was so excited and then i thought, did the leading world expert do a rosette? or did he just do an hcg count? i do not KNOW.
"like thatchall...it's like thatchall...It's Like That" (carey)
ooooh, more questions to an-SUh. this article hints at the role of ammonium sulfate in the Rosette Assay (in mice):
the link and a clip: http://www.reproduction-online.org/cgi/content/abstract/100/1/279
need to read this and find out what it means, and some other links too:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2108668?dopt=Abstract
**********************************
"Touch My Body" by carey...love this song too. I just do, and I like the video and think mariah is adorable here. look at her in that catholic schoolgirl skirt (maybe i shouldn't write that. everything i say is misinterpreted). go girl.
********************
1982: Smart Y C; Roberts T K; Fraser I S; Cripps A W; Clancy R L
Validation of the rosette inhibition test for the detection of early pregnancy in women.
Fertility and sterility 1982;37(6):779-85.
The authors validated use of the rosette inhibition test for the detection of early pregnancy factor (EPF) in human pregnancy, first by optimizing conditions for the assay, using known pregnant and nonpregnant sera, and second, by examining the performance of this assay in three clinical situations: a "blind" study involving coded first-trimester sera showed 80% correlation with pregnancy status; serial assay of EPF activity in sera collected from normal women attempting to conceive, correlated with human chorionic gonadotropin beta-subunit (beta-hCG) levels and pregnancy status; a longitudinal study of serial serum samples through two normal pregnancies showing the continued presence of EPF until the early third trimester in each case. It was concluded that with the rosette inhibition assay, consistent demonstration of a pregnancy-associated substance (EPF) could be obtained.
**************
basically, first i need to verify the validity of the Rosette Assay, and then find out if there are things that cause a false-negative in even a Rosette.
if there is nothing that can alter Rosette results for false-negative, i'll then go back to false-negative with HCG in general.
listening to "Hero" by carey. then maybe "without you" afterward.
I may have to start a whole new post about the Rosette Assay and other early pregnancy tests. Okay, I started my post, but i'm back here because i can ramble and record my thinking process. and write about the music i'm listening to as well.
I posted a copy of a U.S. patent for early pregnancy detection, which was patented on July 8, 2008. It was available before Princess Diana's death, on August On 31, 1997.
This patent is a diagnostic that confirms pregnancy BEFORE implantation and because the Rosette Inhibition Assay is cited in the credits, this is probably a newer test that came out or was made public, after the Rosette was already available. The Rosette was available to Diana at the time she could have been pregnant and wanted to have an early confirmation one way or the other.
listening to "Unbreak My Heart" by tony braxton.
uh-oh, glitch. maybe something else threw off the results. Because I just read THIS... Quantitative blood tests and the most sensitive urine tests usually detect hCG shortly after implantation, which can occur anywhere from 6 to 12 days after ovulation.[6] So my question is, blood tests supposedly only test HCG after 6 or more days, but the assay can test BEFORE implantation. If there was unprotected sex and Diana suspected something or it was unusual for her, or if she was off bc for some reason and condom broke...for whatever reason, if she suspected it was a possibility and wanted to find out immediately (as Diana, I think, would be prone to do, as she hastened to psychics for the future, she would also hasten to discover a pregnancy--her future), how many days could go by with a blood test NOT showing enough HCG and yet she still be pregnant? I would do this exact thing, if it were me. I don't like surprises and have to KNOW right away. I would have, if I had the money, definitely taken something like the Rosette to find out.
And did this leading world expert do an Assay? or is it only available with fresh blood or are there certain conditions? I need to know.
Listening to "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney.
After I discover what happened with Diana, I'm looking into Barry Manakee. Look out. That will be after I expose all those accusing Diana of being paranoid as snakes and conspirators. Well...(cough, cough)...lotsa plans here.
Directed now to "ghost's" "Unchained Melody" (clip with Demi Moore). i started to cry almost. i forgot about that movie. i went to wiki to refresh my memory. sort of makes...well, the part about the pennies..anyway...
So I'm listening to it again and what do I do now? I need to know when it was that Al-fayed allegedly heard this pregnancy news. What was the date or approximate date? then I could figure out if something set off a false-negative on levels of HCG which should have been high enough, or consider other possibilities, such as that she discovered early she was pregnant and then lost the baby, or something was tampered with, or it was too early to get a HCG reading or what. I found some weird herbs which could be put in a tea and cause miscarriage...just need to find out dates for placement of possibilities.
Okay, Fayed found out about the engagement one hour before the murder, and yes, I'm calling it murder too, because I believe this was carefully premeditated. So, that's about the engagement, but what about the pregnancy? Did he learn of the pregnancy and the engagement at the same time? If so, it would have been a very recent and new pregnancy for Diana, possibly, and she could have used early pregnancy confirmation to get her answer and Dodi could have, upon hearing the news, decided he wanted to propose, even if Diana had not considered marrying him before. It is possible the HCG levels were too low, if this was a newer pregnancy and the leading expert didn't use a preimplantation type of test, and it's also possible she could have been newly pregnant and that this was discovered by others before even Fayed knew, and something was done to tamper with possible results prior to her death.
Listening to "Without You" by mariah. So it's true, Fayed says not only DODI, but DIANA herself, told him her news. SHIT. An HOUR before she was killed. And I knew there was something about that glow on her face in the last photos of her at the corner of the elevator. She was pregnant. And people knew before Fayed did. And EVEN IF she had a "period" at Rosa Monkton's house, it's still possible she began pregnant after the yacht holiday and used something like the Rosette to find out early. And most people would assume the levels of HCG would be too low. I need to look at when Rosa claimed Di was on her period. How many days prior to her death, and then ask more questions.
I just know I believe Fayed and he had NO reason to lie about something like that. What would the point be? He was telling the truth. It is possible she was hurrying back to her sons to tell them the news before school. This is the other thing--claiming diana was pregnant did nothing for Fayed regarding the loss of his son, and it WOULD confirm his suspicions they were murdered if everyone was so desperately disputing this and the evidence (so-called) was contrary to what he was told. So it would be reasonable for him to make such broad allegations.
Interesting article by a Chezch spook: http://www.ce-review.org/99/6/culik6.html
Okay, Rosa said Diana was on her period 10 days before her death. Either Rosa is lying, Dodi is lying, or Diana was lying. I would believe Rosa is lying before Dodi. Diana could have lied to Rosa about having her period if she was in the early stages of pregnancy and keeping it a secret. Rosa hasn't claimed to have seen the blood herself. If Diana told Fayed she was pregnant 1 hour prior to the crash, she didn't have a miscarriage. Unless she had a missed miscarriage but HCG levels would still be too high. She was either having a period and pregnant at the same time (this happens), or she told Rosa this because she wanted others to know first, or she simply found out later, and did an early Rosette or assay. Rosa says Diana knew Dodi 6 weeks prior to her death, but Diana had known his family since she was young, because of her father's connection to Fayed. She may have been only dating Dodi 6 weeks, but it's not like he was a complete stranger out of the blue. Hasnet says he wasn't aware they were dating and we know Diana can keep things secret. If she dated Dodi for 6 weeks, she could have been pregnant by a month or so and Rosa simply was lied to or lied herself. Rosa wouldn't say Diana had her period at the specified time unless she was lying and was also familiar with Diana's cycle, or unless Diana lied to HER. If Diana was pregnant, it was either by about a month, and the whole thing was covered up and people lied or gave her something to conceal blood tests, OR, she got pregnant later and did a quick assay and confirmed it early. It is possible someone did verify her pregnancy and then it was covered up later.
My head is KILLING ME. I have, seriously, the worst tension headache ever. No one has ANY OTCs and I don't even have Xanax, so I finally smoked a little pot. I don't know what else to do. This is really, really, bad, like a migraine replacement headahce but there's absolutely ZERO migraine effects. I sort of feel like I might have a fever too, but I can't tell.
I have never felt more pregnant. My boobs hurt and I'm bloated. I think the run brought on the discharge. Because it stopped when I quit running. It was just a little bit, like normal discharge but brown. I have been hungry like I'm pregnant too, but the brown discharge is pretty clear. I still feel like I can feel a baby moving sometimes, but I've realized it has to be gas and stuff. There IS movement, but it's seriously gas. I checked to see if anything is different with the cervix, but no. And now the discharge is clear or whitish and no brown at all. I might have to get checked out. I'll see how I feel tomorrow.
Now Alicia Keys is singing "No One". One of my favorites by her. Wow. New favorite. Just saw "Superwoman" for the first time. good video too--total woman power. I'm slowing down, my head is still throbbing. I forgot I like "You DOn't Know My Name" especially the beginning. I like this one too, "Unbreakable". See, with her, I like her voice, but sometimes I like her piano playing even more. She's really not bad at all.
So I'm thinking, if we say Di was at the end of her period the last day with Rosa, it's possible she ovulated early, like I did or women can do, and considered she might be pregnant, and did an early test. If I was a princess and wanted to know right away, there would be no wait in the lab. It would all be done right then and there. So if only 48 hours is needed to pass or less, that's 2 days. Diana could have, hmmm. Well, she'd have to become pregnant by day 7 or 8 after her period and then done an early test 2 days later, which would be day 9 or 10, and if she found out that day, on the 10th, she could have called Fayed with the news the same day or she could have found out early and called the next day. Dodi could have been getting a ring anyway.
I don't know though, it's possible and it would explain the lack of HCG that was detectable, but it seems more likely she was pregnant longer than that. But really, one month isn't much different from the same day. I mean, most women won't say they're pregnant until at least a month is up but that's because it takes that long to miss a period or show signs on a urine test. But if you have earlier tests, that can be done in a day, and test 2 days after conception, you could do that and have good results and give the news. I conceived this last time, about 7 days after my period ended (and I counted the days I should have been in my period phase but wasn't bleeding..i could mark them by beg. and ending migraines too). At any rate, it would have been possible for me to know if I was pregnant, this last time, through a Rosette, about 10 days after a cycle. It seems she would be at least a month along though. So maybe she lied to Rosa about having her period. Or she had a much shorter period and got suspicious and tested. Or Rosa lied. It seems it would take more time for someone to know DI was pregnant before planning a murder over it.
But maybe the pregnancy was coincidental and the crash was already planned and she found out she was pregnant last minute. It could have been over weapons and other stuff. Or, it's possible someone pulled a fast job out of their pocket, but then you wouln't think a very large group of people would be poised to spring into action. She could have been pregnant, one way or the other, it just shifts the whole twist if you look at it from different angles. The timing of her periods and death seems a little strange, that her cycle would so perfectly sit into a time on holiday with Rosa when the big issue later becomes a pregnancy. It seems so...convenient...or plaaaanned somehow. Will think about it later.
it's a lot easier on the mind to just say it's an accident.
but i think that would be taking the easy way out. some of these things deserve a second look.
Like this song even more...Alicia Keys "When You Really Love Someone". okay, my head is killing me and i'm done
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