Lawsuit: Sad and Ready to Sue
Sunday, May 21, 2006 1:49 PM
From:
"loree baird"
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To:
eaglelaw@qwest.net, dick.whittemore@bullivant.com, dslader@spiritone.com
I see a urologist on Monday. I will have had a catheter since May 11 and if there are still problems, I was told I have to wear it another week and then they'll do testing. The hypothesis is a "stunned bladder" from prolonged pushing, or swelling. If I have permanent damages, I will seek an attorney. I have the most beautiful baby boy, but my ordeal could not have been worse. And he did not escape unscathed, because he had a huge bloody hemotoma or something (worse than a "bruise") on his head when he was born, from the trauma, and I was told he would get jaundice because of it and he did and still has it, though not as badly. Also, because my midwife refused to get the OB for a c-section, and didn't believe me when I told her what was going on, his heartrate went from 90 bpm to 70 bpm for a considerable length of time, which is when I suffered the most, trying to push him out after being forced to push for over 2 1/2 hours (not withstanding 12 hours of labor prior), which is over the "allowed" time for pushing, hearing he was not faring well, and there was no doctor to intervene. At the same time, my midwife was pulling down on me with her hands the whole time, and it hurt and I could feel it. I had an epidural which helped the contraction pain, but then my midwife and doula didn't believe me when I told them I could feel the contractions and WAS pushing with everything I had. They started saying things like, "It's a mental block" and attributed it to psychology, and told me, in the middle of my labor that I wasn't pushing as hard as I could, through the "pain" and kept harassing me to look at the baby's head in a mirror so "you know what you're pushing for." God damn them, I KNEW what I was "pushing for" and didn't need a mirror to know, and also, I was so focusing my energy on pushing, looking in a mirror would have been a distraction and I was afraid. I was afraid because I knew that even though they could see the head, it wasn't coming out without major trauma, and I knew I needed a c-section. They tried to turn off the epidural without my consent, and let it run out, and when I found out I started crying and demanded the anasthesioloigist. It wasn't a matter of my "not feeling" the urge to push. The anastesiologist was mad at them and asked how long they had let it run, and they said "two minutes". Then, they wanted to add high levels of Pitocin and I refused, saying no several times, and they kept making advances to doing this until I said, firmly, "I said NO and I MEAN NO!" Pitocin would have been a disaster because it would have made things more intense and there was no problem with the contractions or my urge to feel them. I believe I would have torn worse. I ended up with 3rd-4th degree tears, which meant my midwife rrealized she could not do the stitches herself as the tear went into the sphincter or rectum or something. ANd they couldn't stop my bleeding. I asked for an OB to come in for consult and my midwife delayed, before the baby was born, and finally she heeded my request, talking to the OB outside the door before coming into the room. The OB said the head was right there and that it would be a "disservice" to give me a c-section and she recommended Pitocin which I refused. Everyone was harassing me, even my own doula, who was supposed to be there to support me, and invalidated what I was telling them. I have never felt so traumatized as when the OB left the room, leaving me in the hands of incompetents, to push beyond the recommended length of time, and then hearing the baby's heartrate was dropping. Then the baby was born, between my excessive pushing (which was good pushing in the right area, and yet also gave me black eyes from bloodbursts) and, probably, the midwife tearing me apart down below. I could feel her and was in horrible pain, and all the while I was being told this was in my head. I asked for a local and she gave me one, and When she was stitching me up, I asked for another local, and then when the OB had to come in to stitch, I could still feel the needle, and the OB was surprised (because supposedly my "epidural" wasn't allowing me to feel contractions and pushing urges effectively) and gave me another shot and then gave me Fenarol which finally helped. After this traumatic delivery, I was recovering with my baby rooming in and people kept trying to get me to leave the baby in the nursery but I refused. I got zero sleep but I was with my baby. Then it got worse--a nurse came in and said I had to talk to a social worker and when I asked why she said there were notes in my prenatal charts that I had drug/alcohol abuse problems and had been homeless. I asked where this came from and she said the midwife's notes. So then I talk to the midwife and she acknoweleges I never had drug/alcohol problems and said she wanted me to see someone because I had been "homeless" a while ago. This was totally not true, and she said she thought I had been in a homeless shelter several months ago (not true). I told her this wasn't true and between feeling abused by her during delivery, and the suffering of my baby because of it, and this, I fired her on the spot. Not that there was much else to see her for, but I wanted nothing more to do with her. Then my doula kept calling the room and I didn't want to talk to her, so between this and firing my midwife, the nurses thought I was a mental case, and then I was threatened with Child Protective Services if I did not comply with their request that I speak to a social worker, which I had a right to refuse. I was suspect for not naming the baby immediately, and suspect for turning down calls when I was exhausted and had about 10 hours of sleep in 5 days. When a nurse and a doctor started talking about CPS, I was thrown into panic again, and forced to call a bunch of people to come over to show support and keep the crazies at bay. I had someone sit with me and witness the meeting with the social worker and after all this, the doctor actually apologized to me, in embarasment (I had also mentioned my aunt worked for an attorney). But it wasn't over because I was still suspect about my interpretation of what happened in the delivery room, though there were 3 people besides me who witnessed my demand for C-section, etc. That is, I was suspect until I couldn't pee on my own after the 5 day. Then it was suddenly, "Oh." Like, maybe there had BEEN a problem and I had been unnecessarily forced to push and been damaged from it. Then I was told I had to go home with a catheter because the newborn act only provided for a certain number of days for "vaginal delivery" and they had to be reimbursed by insurance. I reminded them that the language of the Newborn Act was that the alottment of time was for "UNCOMPLICATED" vaginal and c-section births, and that mine had NOT been "uncomplicated". But I left to get out of there when the urologist said he couldn't do anything that wasn't "invasive". I thought they should do an MRI but instead, I had to learn how to change a night "bag" from a leg catheter, and how to empty it and everything you never wanted to know and shouldn't need to know.
I had people tell me that if the hospital had made an issue of Child Protective Services without cause, when there was NO cause, they were going to pay for an attorney for me, and my parents got there just in time. However, what is frightening is that if I had been alone, I could have been in seriuos jeopardy--both me and my baby, and they would have continued to harass me. Even later, when I went in to have my stitches looked at, in the regular office, just the fact that I am a single non-working mother, I believe, is what lead to a nurse feeling she needed to let me know I was free to come in any time if I felt the urge to, basically, throw my baby against a wall. As if being poor makes you a low-life.
So I see a urologist tomorrow and may transfer to another one for second opinion if needed. People expect no problems, but I'm not so sure because I know what happened was not normal and WAS traumatic and wonder if I damaged myself permanently from the pushing. If so, I'm getting an attorney. You can't find a lawyer to fight for principles, but there are plenty who snap up bodily injury claims, and if I am burdened with a disability when it could have been prevented and when my very specific requests were completely ignored, I don't know what I will do. The whole experience has tainted my joy over being a mother. It cripples me and I can't forget it, and cry whenever I think about it. I don't have post-pardum depression. The only time I cry is when I am reminded of, or think about, the delivery, harassment, and my baby's heartrate dropping and how helpless I felt and feel now, trying to take care of him, with a bag of urine around my leg.
As for Oliver, he is a wonderful baby. He never cries when I change his diaper, and when he was circumcised, he only cried if I wasn't talking to him, with my mouth to his ear--The doctor didn't want me to be there becasue he thought it would be too much for me, but I stopped crying about the idea of Oliver's pain when it was time for me to be strong for him, and I think that's what being a mother is about. Being there.
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