Help Cleaning (Jan. 20, 2008)

After ER visit and severe pain, I requested help to clean my house. It wasn't THAT bad, but it needed cleaning. CPS told me they were giving me 3 days to clean and then they were coming in. Even KNOWING they were coming for a visit, I was too sick and weak, physically, to do anything, so I asked for help. I also recognized that the sickness was always associated with when we were at the orchard house. I would get this "hit" and go to ER and then be fine in 45 minutes. It's not like I liked the hospital or thought it was a safe place. I hated that fucking hospital. But I went because things were wrong and I was almost blacking out from seizure and needed an MRI. Then I would go back home, and my son and I were sick again:

I NEED HELP CLEANING NOW‏
From: cam huegenot (cameocares@live.com)
Sent: Sun 1/20/08 12:46 PM
To: dicksiedael@aol.com
Mom and Dad,

CPS is going to take Oliver away from me tomorrow and I BEGGED YOU FOR HELP.

I am sick and weak, the minute I come back to this house, and haven't been able to clean AT ALL. The place does not look sanitary and they WILL TAKE HIM.

I have been in too much pain to clean and haven't done ANYTHING but suffer. I went to ER last night and they didn't help me. But everytime I go away from this house, I come back to health. I don't have cabin fever. I love this house. I have LESS stress at this house than anywhere else. But I am as sick as a dog here. My stomach is cramped into ulcer feelings and my spine and back feel like collapsing. Even the horrible ache and pain in my joints (where leg meets hip) that RADIATES down to my knees is back. Within 20 MINUTES of being here.

Something is very wrong, and I asked MY fAMILY FOR HELP. I asked for PRACTICAL HELP in cleaning this house. I called hOlly and left a message yesterday and she didn't call me back. I told Granny and Grandpa I needed help and no one is helping me. They're telling me to "DO IT" and I can't. It takes me about 5 minutes to write this email, but cleaning requires bending over, picking things up, sweeping, mopping, more energy than just my fingers moving. I feel extremely weak and in too much pain to clean at all.

I asked you guys for some PRACTICAL help, and it seems to me that you WANT me to lose Oliver. I have almost been losing my mind because this pain is so severe and it's NOT NORMAL because it goes away when I'm away from the house.

CPS told me if I didn't let them in tomorrow, they would start "dependency hearings". Which is when THEY take control of Oliver and his welfare. That means THEY would have the right to take him to whatever doctor they want, who will blow off Oliver's birth injuries and damages, and even have him VACCINATED againt my will. They can put him with other families and take him away. This isn't normal routine. If CPS wants to see a house, they get a court order to see the house, not to do "dependency hearings". If CPS gave me 3 days to clean my house and is planning to do dependency hearings if I don't cooperate with them, then they already have some kind of control of him and have already been let into my house.

YOU GUYS aren't doing ANYTHING about it. YOU don't take my calls even. You don't respond to my emails. NO ONE IN MY FAMILY IS HELPING ME AND OLIVER in a practical way so I don't lose him. I said I need someone to HELP ME clean. But NO ONE is helping me.

That's faith in action for you.

I no longer want any part of whatever your "christian beliefs" are and while I told you I would go and take Oliver to the "healing room", I am no longer doing this. I TOLD YOU I would do what YOU WANTED and was holding up to my end, and AGREED to do what you wished, but you've done NOTHING for Oliver. And then you THINK that this is going to work out.

I have had a harder time keeping my faith in Christ because of how my family has treated me and refused to support me, when others accuse me and do evil to me and Oliver, than anything else. You have had opportunities to help me but you put the burden on my shoulders and don't even lend a hand.

You left me in jail, you left me here, you will let someone take Oliver and even try to tell me it's the best things.

I asked YOU FOR HELP.