My Predictions & Analysis

I just wrote the last post, which shows why my son's speech problems have been a problem. I think about my dream to form some non-profits, and it is such a long shot. At this juncture, simply going back to Wenatchee for any length of time, will be a major setback. There is no way I will get ahead, in any way, in that town, and yet to have maximum visitation with my son, it is the only option. They will make the most of harassing me while I'm there, and I will not find any kind of meaningful work. There is no way I would trust even one person there to provide "counseling". Imagine. It's not possible, and no psychologist or psychiatrist in their right mind would recommend any medications when I have no need for them and every mental health professional agrees there is nothing imbalanced or wrong with me or my brain. They all concur it is reasonable stress considering the circumstances.

In that case, Wenatchee would try to order counseling when there is no counseling I would benefit from in that town and I wouldn't open up to ONE person while I was there. If I had to, I'd go through the motions, and talk about butterflies and art, and that's just about it. I am not pouring my heart out to anyone there.

Does anyone think they're going to keep me from filing lawsuits by giving me meds? As if my anger is not about injustice and my son and I being refused diagnostics and normal medical care? As if there is some kind of "anti-lawsuit" drug they could give me. As if there is some kind of counseling or drug that would cause me to want to have anything to do with my family when I already tried that over and over and over and got fed up. Having a fucked up family isn't a sign of mental illness--the fact that I have drawn the line, is a sign of health. Only unhealthy people stay in abusive or non-supportive relationships.

There is also no way I will get any kind of medical care in Wenatchee. I'm told by Maryland that I need further diagnostics and SURGERY and I would be out of MY FUCKING MIND to allow ONE Wenatchee doctor to touch me.

I'm actually very glad that this unborn baby isn't going to be subjected to the dangers and problems of Wenatchee medical care. I would rather have this baby die now, than be damaged later. It's actually a relief to know Wenatchee will not have any control, whatsoever, over this child which was to-be. I would have been absolutely miserable, knowing I had not just ONE but TWO children at risk in the Wenatchee system.

I'm going to have more children, but I'm going to be in a safe place when I do. My children are going to be safe and sheltered. I thank God with all of my heart, that this unborn child will not be subjected to the same damages my son and I have been subjected to. It is the saddest thing, to know a death is actually probably the luckiest thing that happened to this little unborn one.

When I have a child next, I will be in a place where I know no one will take my child from me, or injure them in childbirth and try to cover it up, or refuse diagnostics to save their own skin. No one will be sitting around, contemplating how they'll decorate the nursery for the day they take my child from me. No one will have this child, because God adopted this baby before one more tragedy occured.

There is not one good thing Wenatchee, or anyone in the state of Washington, could do for me or my son. They did what was best for themselves, and they have NOTHING to offer us. There is nothing I could take from Washington, except further material for a lawsuit and a good book, a cautionary tale about a town that should have died long ago, which, for some reason, still survives and lives, despite the ghosts that haunt every corner.

That is the only good thing I will get out of going back to Wenatchee--More information for a story about the town and the people who inhabit it, the one half, and then the other half. All I will gain, is stories which will come out of the shadows as a few people who have also suffered, pull me aside to tell me some things I will need to include in my book. I will honor Wenatchee's request to return and they will wish to God that they had given me change of venue when I published the full story of the consequences their actions had on the lives of the children whose parents were falsely jailed, and the lives of the immigrants they've bullied and exploited--to kill a mockingbird.

There is only one person, besides those who have stories to share with me, about what Wenatchee has ruined their lives, that I care to meet or be closer to, and that is Pam Roach, a Senator for Washington state.

The only thing I will be doing in Wenatchee, is filing proof of violations by the AG in withholding evidence from the record, and gathering documentation of violations and records I have in storage. I'll be filing documentation of injuries and of proof of medical disability and the fact that there is not one clinic or doctor I would trust my dog to, which will keep me from getting diagnostics and surgery until I'm out of there, but I'll sue on other grounds and I've checked the statutes for that.

I will go there, and make an outline for my book. My book will be birthed in Wenatchee, not a child, and it will be published by a responsible company. I will gather details of every nook and cranny in Wenatchee and collect historical information and stories of those who have suffered. The only good thing that could possibly come out of Wenatchee, is my son's restoration to his mother, whom he never should have been removed of, and a book of stories about the suffering that has happened because of people in charge, in Wenatchee. Oh, it will definitely not be fiction. I may write a little fiction as a prologue to each chapter, to add a mystical and creative element, but the stories and names will be real. I'll perfect the character descriptions when I'm there, and take tips from people who come forward to me. Actually, the absolute best triumph is for me to go back to Wenatchee and get every last shred and detail that I now lack to write a book. I expect Wenatchee would make it impossible for me to have computer or internet access and I'll have to go over with a computer already so I'm able to write.

I will ask Pam Roach if she knows someone who could assist me with a temporary social security disability claim while I'm having to live in Wenatchee, for physical disability, as I won't be able to get diagnostics and surgery I need while my son is held hostage in that town and I have to live there to have access to him. There is no way I'm going to be able to work at this point, because I still have pain from whatever further damage the pregnancy caused. I have been completely sedentary and not on my feet, and I still have pain, even after lying down all night to sleep. Believe me, the pain is NOT like it was before, I don't mean that, but there is still pain.

No, I will not be going to church in Wenatchee. And I will not be "singing" in Wenatchee. I wouldn't care to bless that town with any of my gifts. The only gift I'll be using when I'm there is my ability to write and record details about Wenatchee and the people in Wenatchee whose names I cannot now remember.

Where will I live? I'm not leaving that up to the state to decide. I'm getting the audio I need, and orders and motions I need, to know what has been going on and what's been decided without me, and I'm bringing in my own proof from Maryland that Wenatchee is a bunch of liars. There will be no psych ward, despite their most earnest and eager and hopeful attempts. Which is why I'm going back with medical records proving they're liars, and with a psych evaluation from someone over here, who they have no connection with and will have absolutely no forewarning I've gone to see. I'm not going through the state. I'm getting private diagnostics.

I am making my embassy contacts before I leave.