Note to Dad: The Perfect Punishment

The only reason Holly would lie and claim she's trying to get my son back with me, as she does the exact opposite, is so she doesn't get sued in the future, and possibly, because she worries my father might turn against my mother.

My Dad doesn't like the Bairds, and thinks they're kooks, but he keeps his mouth shut on account of my mother. I was the one to convince him to STAY with my mother when he wanted to divorce.

All the Bairds hated ME, because they thought I was the one causing problems between them. They told ME I was starting it all, and my mother said she didn't love me and wrote this horrid nasty email which she lied about later. The whole reason they thought I had influenced my father was because I said it wasn't right to go through all his personal email and cell phone history, and the MAIN thing I stood up for my Dad on, was the fact that although my Dad has issues with my mother, he didn't talk to others about her and badmouth her. My mother, on the other hand, told EVERYONE in their church, her side of the story, and rallied a bunch of women to her side to "pray" with her and then they'd just gossip about how bad my Dad was and my mother just SOAKED up the attention and sympathy. All my mother wants, is to have people tell her she's right and wonderful.

SO I overheard all this crap about my Dad and I drew the LINE when I overheard my mother talking to my BROTHER about her marriage problems. She was telling my BROTHER about their sex issues even. I could NOT believe it and found it disgusting that she would use her son to go to for advice on his own father. As a result, my brother took my mother's side and thought my Dad was a jerk. It only alienated my brother from his father.

SO I said, "I'm going to tell Dad if you don't cut it out." and then she threatened me, with a bunch of things, telling me she would make sure the Bairds didn't support me in anything.

My mother is best friends with Holly. My aunt Locklyn can be a bitch, but she's also smart, funny, and half-way interesting. Holly and my mother have as much indivduality as two peas in a pod. They're both green, and round, and hard.

So Holly hated me whenever I had an issue with my mother. No matter what, Holly would take ANYONE's side over mine. She was my mother's defender.

Given what misery the Bairds have put me through, I would say the best possible punishment for my mother and the Bairds would be for my Dad to just go ahead and get a fucking divorce.

It may be too late. Knowing my mother, she's probably convinced him to go on happy meds already, and he's stuck, thinking things are really better. I would too, honestly, if I had to be married to her.

But what I know, is that the only thing that causes my mother to do anything for me or in my favor, is if she thinks my Dad is on my side. If my Dad is on my side, all the Bairds back down, including Holly. I think Holly makes a show of "helping me" and "praying" because she just doesn't want my Dad to know exactly how hateful the Bairds (excluding Granny) have been towards me.

I say, the Bairds don't show support, and start to back me and reinstate my son's phone visitation, my Dad is free and clear for multiple reasons, to divorce my mother and get the hell out. I stood up for her before, even when they didn't know and were, all of them, mean to me. But this time, my father has my blessing to do whatever he wants, and I wouldn't blame him in the least for leaving my mother, which would upset the whole Baird clan, because they don't like seeing my mother "cry".

To hell with ME, they don't care if I'm in JAIL, or SLANDERED, or in JAIL in Canada, or torn from my own SON. They don't care if I'M crying! or even if my son clearly wants to be with me. They only care about my mother. To them, I'm not family and everyone knew I was Granny's favorite and they were all as jealous as mad vipers.

Do I love my mother? No, I can't say I do. It's pretty much too late for that. She disowned me first, and decided I wasn't worth HER love if my Dad wasn't influenced by her show of caring. The only time she cared to "love" me was if my father was watching.

My mother is a hideous beast, disguised in a candy wrapper. I am not kidding, and anyone could ask one of my Dad's friends, Mark, about her. Mark was invited to Christmas dinner with my family one year, and witnessed my mother harassing me, over and over, about nitpicky things and treating me like an outcast.

Ever since I was little, my mother was jealous of me.

She was jealous of attention I got from my father, and she was jealous when others paid more attention to me than her. My own mother.

Do you see how disgusting and repulsive it would be for me to attempt to get into this family's "good graces"? They're some of the worst examples for christianity that I've ever known. It's an embarrassment. They think I'M an embarrassment, but really, I kinda think they should consider how they represent the name of Christ.

Really now.

I don't know why my father is still with my mother really. It's like all of a sudden, something happens to ME, and they become a united front at the worst possible time. I mean, is he on DRUGS? Meds? settled? or does he think it's just easier and is getting things in order financially to come out ahead in a divorce? What is he waiting for? Granny and grandpa to DIE so my mother gets some of the money and he gets half?

I swear to you, this family is too fixated on money, they would do that. These family members, almost all of them, are wringing their hands, counting the days until my grandparents pass away. In the meantime, they take sides which they think will profit them in the long-run. I don't know how much money and assets my grandparents have, I just know they're at LEAST multi-millionaires and maybe more than that, and I know not all the money is accounted for in property and banks. There are, ahem...a few "safes" lying around, just in case we hit a Grand Ole Depression.

I don't want ONE PENNY of their fucking dirty or clean money. I want my son and the HELL OUT.

Come on, now does anyone else have weirdos like this, who are just waiting for inheritance money and suck ups to whoever holds the dough? Some people are so corruptible. It doesn't take much to go from "give us this day our daily bread" to "Give me the FUCKING money and the house!" I correct myself. NO one wants THAT house except Loren, and everyone knows he's getting it, because what Loren wants, Loren gets.

You see these black and white photos of the Baird girls: Holly, Dicksie, and Locklyn, and they look sad and drawn with circles under their eyes. Well, Locklyn looks impish. But then there's LOREN, standing there with the devil in his eyes like the brat that he's always been. I don't know anyone in the family who spanked their own son so hard. You want to know why his son works as a clerk at a grocery store and his daughter has a full ride scholarship to U of Washington with plans to be in NASA? Favoritism and frank beatings of his son. Brandon is just as smart as Danielle, but they BEAT the shit out of him, for just being active and being a boy.

My mother now. The only anecdote anyone has on my mother, which fits her to this day, is how Granny remembers my mother's favorite game to play was "banker" and she asked Granny if she could have her "gold tooth" when she was dead. That's my mother. Age 6, thinking about how much Granny's gold tooth might be worth.

If only they would die! they all pant heavily, in their low income dead-end jobs in Cashmere, which are the consequence of not having a college education when any one of them could have made something of themselves. My grandpa's FATHER and MOTHER and GRANNY have more education than their next-generation children. Granny was in college when she met my grandpa and she dropped out. My grandpa's father was an agriculture big wig major somewhere in the midwest and his mother was educated too. But the Baird kids, get to suffer as idiots, who married (all of them) before they were 20 years old, and sit around waiting for money to grow on trees, they were all beaten as children, and still have the "respect" and fear such beatings create adults to be towards their father. Yes, the Baird kids could stand to take a course in logic and reasoning or critical thinking, or a beginner's philosophy course, for some simple equations which could be enlightening but instead they dumb down to church and sucking up and thinking anyone in a government or legal or justice position, knows better than everyone else. All the Bairds kids, were extremely bright, I mean, beyond average intelligence, but look at them. Just go to church and get married.

Which is what I was told to do and I, luckily, REBELLED. HELL no to the child bride veil.

Let me tell you something: My uncle Loren is a total asshole and everyone calls him "a prick". But he was smart. He was building hang-gliders himself and flying them around the valley, and built a darkroom in a room in the house and did photography. He could have had a full scholarship, but he got married and what does he do? He's a carpet layer, and there is nothing wrong with THAT, but with all the opportunities he got, he squandered, always knowing he'd get a hand-out from dear old dad.

My aunt Locklyn is extremely smart, and several lawyers told her they'd help her get her license so she could be a partner with them, but no, she doesn't have time, or didn't, because she had 7 kids instead.

My mother is very smart (but very stupid when it comes to logical reasoning..duuuuh)and at least took advantage of "staying at home" to study for her real estate license as she was forcing her daughter to make a living on a bike route for a newspaper at age 11. My mother knows a lot of finite facts. She's an encyclopedia of knowledge when it comes to real estate, or how many calories are in a potato chip, and she studies nutrition. However, when it comes to analysis, there is an absolute brain failure because these kids were never taught how to do critical thinking. They believe everything they read and hear (unless it's coming from ME, because they haven't figured out yet that oddballs sometimes have an advantage).

My aunt Holly? Well! that cookie is one to crisp. The fish hatchery worker who throws my son into daycare but spends money on flowers for her garden and home decorations for A HOUSE THEY DO NOT EVEN OWN. THEY ARE SO DUMB they've put TONS of their OWN money into a RENTAL HOUSE, over 20 years. And they don't even OWN it.

I'll finish her off in her very own memorial post by me, right after I find the email from her daughter Ivory, who expressed "concern" about her mothers tantrums
(but I'm, allegedly, the one starting arguments in front of my son, when my son can't even hear me when it's my aunt on the phone to me..duh, again).

And one of the Baird's favorite expressions is: You guessed it!

"Duuu-uh!"

I kid you not. They all use it, like clones, all the time, and after a while, I just take one look at them, or I start writing about them, and I can't get "duuuh" out of my mind.

"Do you know how much money our moms are going to get when Granny and Grandpa die?!" said my cousin Alita Guzman excitedly, one day to me when I was new to Cashmere.

I cut her off and said I didn't want to know.

Duuuuu-uh.

No one is going to marry ME for my family's money. BeLIEVE me. Go after Alita. She's even started writing Granny cute little cards so Granny remembers who she is.