Friday, February 4, 2011

this morning

I got out of bed at 4:30, having wakened earlier and then went back to bed. Got up 5 minutes later, wanting to get a start on the day.

I forgot to write down what verse I had from the Y basket yesterday. It was about turning from sin and wait upon the Lord but I'd have to find it.

This morning it was: "Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Matthew

Sometimes just a very short verse like that seems to carry a lot of emotional power, at least for me.

This woman speaking yesterday was talking about how she used to cry so much she had to put vaseline on her cheeks to keep her tears from making callouses on her face and burning her skin. And I do not usually let any tears fall but a few silent ones did for me, when she talked about how she did not give up and she got her kids back.

I then read a verse like the one from Matthew, singled out, and think to have faith in the power of even this verse, that a very real and true blessing can be given or come from mourning.

I had this delirious (or other?) song in my mind after I got here, something about "I'm gonna live for you," and I can think of the tune but not enough of the lyrics yet to find it. So I put on Delirious' "Lord You Have My Heart".

Last night after chapel I was taking a bath or in bed and had some kind of food come to my mind which I figured was an impression because it was out of the blue but I didn't know what it was from. It was either a seafood paella or a mariscada or something. Scallops were the main thing I saw. To me it looked like paella but I'm wondering if a photo from a bathroom stall came to mind, with that ad or what. But it was just very quick and nothing else and I wasn't thinking of food so this is why I thought it was some kind of projection maybe.

I guess I'm listening to a few Delirious songs this morning.
Or trying to, bc the computer isn't working very well with playing things this morning.

Oh, and on Tuesday I went out of the area, I mean, further south or something, and I had no problems with technology at ALL. ! yay! Also, last couple of nights were okay too. I thought there was something maybe last night at first, but it was okay. Since Tuesday or so, a big reduction. Or even Monday it was better.

This morning there are a few things going on but mild. I noticed something when I was being interviewed for work, but it was short and could have been from anywhere. I just hoped it wouldn't be a common occurance.

Really, in general, a break. Which I need because I had just been saying to my family I didn't know how much more I could take of this kind of thing. I went to the Green Hills area and went some other places and then to a potluck and actually, for once, after last contacting the FBI (by phone) there was a reduction in what was happening. For once. And then I tried to switch things up a little and I also went to the Friends Church and did some different things.

I'm very thankful for the help.

I think it partly had to do with switching dorm rooms and also going to a new area for awhile. Probably other factors too, but it's been a little better. I didn't have any problems in the sauna yesterday, for once, either. It was all normal.

I'm having problems with internet connection. If I disconnect or hit "repair" it will suddenly cut something off and then the music will play momentarily. When I'm renewing the IP address. A few times yesterday everything would play normally if I did this but most of the time, it was only connecting when I was somehow disconnecting and then it would freeze up again.

I've been trying to play "Did You Feel The Mountains Tremble"
I haven't had any dreams lately and I'm happy about it. Happy to have a break anyway. This guy recently showed me a rattlesnake tail (rattler) and said he'd had a dream about a snake and then the next day someone gave him a rattler. Then he was telling me about his dream and said, "What do you guys think it means?" Everyone gave a quick answer. I said, "Does the person who gave you the rattler go to Vanderbilt?" and he said, "Yes." I then said, "Ask more questions. Ask questions about Vanderbilt maybe."

What else was I going to say? I wasn't going to make some weird connection or assume anything with someone's dreams and things. I think dreams are sometimes too important for quick assumptions and then secondly, some dreams are projections.

Oh man. Now it's Harry. My video finally played a version of "Did You Feel The Mountains Tremble" and it's not the one I tried to play the first couple of times that wouldn't play. On the 3rd try I got...of course. Prince Harry! Not really. Just sort of looks like him a little. Praying, with the captian "Give God Quality Time" beneath it.

I'm writing this in the sauna, which is as nutty as these people who come in with their cell phones.

Heeeeerrrrees Haarry!
I asked what kind of arthritis my Dad has (mild) and found out it's osteoarthritis not rheumatoid or anything. But then I found articles that support pumpkin seed oil and pomegranate for this kind of arthritis too.

I need to look up some directions to things right now, but I wish this music would play.

I looked up some news and saw some media coverage of what is happening in Egypt. I can't believe it has escalated this much. I think they're doing the right thing by supporting or protecting demonstrators but also I think no one should be bound up and gagged like this one guy was, who supported Mubarak. But I don't know what has been happening to all the families. I don't think they'll vandalize the art...I don't really think the Egyptians would destroy their own culture and point of pride. They have some of the best art and ruins and I can't imagine any of them would try to ruin these things. I didn't know that reporters were being attacked. Why would they go after U.S. reporters? if anything, the coverage has helped them, I think. But who knows what the idea was about. Maybe it was just reporters but not regular Americans? I don't know.

The president is 83 or something so I'm not sure why they don't just give their country time to transition. They can't immediately put a new person in there, or can they? Do they have other governors who step in to mediate? how long until they could hold an election and nominate whoever it is they want?

The only other thing I looked at so far was the thing about the Ex CEOs son dead which seems so horrible and tragic. It's like the other guy who was found hanged. It's really sad that anyone would feel so desperate but I always wonder too if there is something else going on (foul play).
The other thing was that last night when we were singing this one song, "I Love You Lord" I sensed really good energy again.

They asked us to raise hands but I feel more shy about this sometimes (most of the time)...not in private, but in general.

Then I was thinking about this song I like, this morning, that my Dad wrote, about lifting hands to God and not giving up. "Let us lift our hands to the father/he's already won the war, and our temporary battles will be no more". I might have to ask him for the lyrics. He wrote one for me too, about my name "cameo" when I was little. It used to make me cry when I was even very small. Actually, good energy through the service in general.

I heard a version of "To God Be The Glory" this morning too.

There is a baby bottle that's been sitting in front of me since I went to the women's area. I think someone forgot it because it's been here. I used to have a velvet type of a dress in my hope chest that I got rid of a few years ago. I had picked it out when I was young and put it in, and it was for a girl. I thought I would use it or give it to someone for a shower but never found the right person. I had it for a really long time. It was this white blouse and underpants and then a red velvet dress over it, and had a small kitten outlined in white at the edge of the skirt, one or two kittens, I can't remember. I got it when I was in my young 20s or still a teenager. I finally thought, why in the world do I still have this? and I think I still had it even after I had my son and I finally gave it away.

Yesterday I tried something new by sitting in a section that matched where I turned to in the Bible. The section or space. Not out of superstition, just as something different. It was also from a section in Hosea and said something about a benjamin. But I mainly just went with the section. It wa about the tribes being corrupt but lead on benjamin. Benjamin was, I think, the youngest of the sons of Abraham ? I didn't import any meaning into it at all though. Some, I've noticed, put a lot into where you sit but I don't want to be so superstitious. I then

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