Tuesday, December 31, 2013

"Stars" (and Diana Spencer)

I got this cassette tape selection I remembered from over a decade ago.  It is possibly a newer version but maybe not.  I'll have to check other versions to be sure but I remember most of the tape titles.

Diana Spencer, I don't know why, played some of them.  On a plane.

I don't know why I remember this, and maybe it was her own part in programming me. 

I picked out "Stars" to play first even though some of the other titles appeal more.  The first several lines, by the end of a few lines from the reader, I remembered.  Oh yeah...Diana played this one.  Over and over.

I turned it off because I was feeling creeped out listening to it.  And actually, I think that's what she used to do.  She would play a small section and stop.  Then play the same thing to me again and stop.  Over and over and I don't know why.

I stopped at "Stars was kept wrapped in secrecy."

I really don't think I can go past that part right now, so I just turned it off.  I started to feel sick while listening to it and I'm trying to remember what was done to me while this was played repeatedly but there was something being done that made me feel ill while I had to keep listening to it.  Even though nothing should make me feel sick right now, it brought up the same sick feeling.  It's a feeling I've had later with technology and I think it's either laser, strong infrared, or something...maybe ultrasound, that causes heating and then a very sick, sick feeling.  I don't remember pain to my lower back, just instant sickness and then when they quit what they were doing with the technology, it stopped the sickness.  I also remember it was not just Diana on the plane when this was done to me.  There were a few others and some of them, some of them men, would look back to see "how she's doing" when I was getting sick.  One looked very vengeful.  The men were sitting up ahead so I could notice when they looked back at me to see and then I sat right next to Diana (later, a couple of times, a Dicksie).  I remember a Robert Guy Garrett Jr. was with them or around a few times and he seemed mad at me too.

I just looked up a review on it because I get too sick to listen past "wrapped in secrecy" and it says Kathryn Harvey is the same author as Barbara Wood.

The reader's voice is the same one I remember, Paula Prentiss.

I sat next to Diana on a plane when she would play this over and over.  Later, a couple of times possibly a Dicksie did, but it was definitely Diana Spencer most of the time and I sort of remember her wearing white pantsuits when she did.  Like her pants and suit jacket were white or something.  The first word of the book on tape is "Snow."

I didn't hear the tape until later, until I was older.  She was using some kind of technology on me at the same time I listened to it, that made me hot and feel extremely nauseous.  I would be almost ready to throw up and pass out and then she'd click the button to have it end on "wrapped in secrecy".

I am thinking, I guess I was sort of like Barbara, the nanny they had, in that I was being brought in for the naps all the time for some reason.  I didn't think William really cared for the servant, whoever it was, that brought him back and forth.  He never looked happy with her.

I can't remember exactly if he was brought in for naps after I reported Prince Charles for sexually molesting me or before, but I think it was maybe after I made a report.  Diana had to know about it, so I'm not sure what her take was, but I do know she was drugging me at some point while I was in the bed, or staying overnight, and she started gradually getting meaner.  I thought it was because I recorded her with Val (Princess Michael), and she did cool considerably after that, but she was sort of doing some different things before then too, sort of right before.

She fingered me, as in, put her finger into my vagina, before I recorded her with Princess Michael but I had no bad or revenge feeling against her.  I just sort of obeyed my elders because mostly I was tortured to extremes if I didn't.  I am pretty sure Diana did this right around the time Charles did. 

I do remember she actually mentioned something one time, while William was napping, about some small toy he had that was wooden and checking something with it.  He didn't usually have toys with him because he played and listened and responded to voices.  But once I remember she brought a toy of some kind or two.  I also remember she blindfolded him once.  I have no idea why she blindfolded him, but she put something around his eyes, that was either a scarf or like a night-sleeping mask that you use at night if the sun or light is still too bright.  I sort of forgot about that until now, but some things I remember more when I hear or see things from the past that take me back to an earlier point in time of my memories.  I think he started to fuss and I am not sure, but I think I said he doesn't like it, let's take it off.  From what I remember, he got a sad face when it was put over his eyes.  I remember Diana was the one who brought it over and she didn't usually, so I remember I wondered why and thought maybe it was to keep the light out or help him sleep better for his nap, but then he didn't look happy and it was taken off.  I do not believe it was left on, and can't think of any time I was around where it was left there permanently.  I am sure I said, "I don't think he likes it--let's take it off."  She didn't look like she wanted to take it off and I thought, why is she not happy with the idea of taking it off when he's clearly unhappy and about to cry?

What is odd though, is that later, I was being tortured and led through an underground tunnel in Paris, blindfolded, by "Katie" who was taking my hand and "leading the way" as a guide to a room where I was attacked and sodomized.  You know, I'm not sure how much of it is symbolism for someone, trying to keep a memory fresh, or just mixed-up facts and ideas of hate crime or having been incited to commit violent acts against me for some reason.

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