Wednesday, December 10, 2008

music today and my sex life

I put on Pat Benatar's "Heartbreaker", which cracks me up in that when she comes out, she looks like Everybody's Mom who just got off work at the office. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcSBurP8yLs. Why do so many moms still wear their hair like this? I like her little knee lift too after she finishes the first chorus and says, "no no no!" and then there's the little Jane Fonda leg lift.

Now listening to Bryan Adams, "Run To You". Lol. How appropriate, after writing the last post.

At least Spiderman tried to pay me a compliment once. He was saying, at the bar, to others, but looking at me now and then, that he'd been with so many women, if it wasn't really good, he didn't have to go back to the same person, and very rarely did. I guess I was lucky enough to be Sexpot enough.

Fuck it. I'm moving on to royalty next. With talent like mine, it's a shame to put it to waste.

(i am totally joking. He'd have to come wearing a mask, because everyone knows I'd eventually write about it.)

Listening to "Simply Irresistable" by Robert Palmer. Wham bam thank you ma'am. Hey, you know what...I really MUST be good, because I wouldn't even do anal too. Huh. That's a feather to put in my cap, now that I think about it.

Well, there was more to it than that, and he knew it and Spiderwoman knew it too or she wouldn't have felt I was a threat, in particular. She didn't care who he was with, just not me, because I was the one she worried about.

Hmmm. Well, if I were still having the baby, I wouldn't write about this, to embarrass my future child, but that's not there anymore, so at least I can make myself laugh and amuse myself with the irony of it all.

And really, it's a matter of a good match. I don't think I'm that wonderful--it depends upon the chemistry and other things, what is a good fit or not. It was very good, for me, with this guy, too, so I didn't object. Until my radars went up.

I really, really, need to organize everything and start writing books.

I think I can write, from real life experience, on just about every topic there is. "Write what you know" is the adage. And how I know! and the things I know!

Oh, and here's a tip to the next paramour of Chris Dabney. If he is drunk, and starts his twitching and apnea stuff, and acts like he has PTSD, what calms him down is a stroke on the arm (I really should have been hitting him over the head with a heavy pan), but better yet, all of these things practically go away if his head is on your chest or stomach, with an ear to the heartbeat. For some reason, hearing another heartbeat must be soothing, because even in subconsciousness, all his symptoms were relieved when his ear or head was next to the heart. He could have been on drugs though, for all I know, for undercover reasons or not.

The difficulty is in trying to get any sleep yourself, with a heavy head on you all night. The solution? Rehab I think.

I hope for his own sake and for his future children and the one or two he already has, that he completes a full course.

I also know I am positively certain he had insider information about me and I don't know where he was getting the info. And many of the comments he made to me were not kind and were sinister inuendos. He knew someone who knew me. I'm absolutely positive. Which is why I cut everything off after I found out I was pregnant. I was protecting the baby, and trying to protect myself as well. I didn't want to quit work because it was my job, but I just played along with stuff, and kept a poker face about things, and he just kept raising that radar. He couldn't be trusted and despite the fact he made some attempts to smooth things over and claimed to support me (going to the baby appointments, which I decided not to involve him in), I just knew there were too many unanswered questions. I'm not a dimwit. I have to be clear about what's going on.

It wasn't my blog, because he made comments about things I didn't ever mention, at the time, or sometimes, ever, on my blog.

Listening now to Sade's "By Your Side", which is one of my favorite songs. I really love this video too, by one of my favorite video directors. I've written about it before.

Like "Smooth Operator" too (hearing it now)...it's just a good tune, even though it's so old...and cliche, but it's very smooth. Like "Sweetest Taboo". I just love all the Sade songs. All of them.

One of my roommates put on The Fray's "How To Save A Life". She just left it behind and I'm listening to it now. Makes me feel like crying.

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