Saturday, February 2, 2013

My Mom Says She Can't Talk (and Oliver's loss of speech)

I called my Mom and she said she can't talk.  She said she was going to an appointment and I asked where and she said it doesn't matter and then said, "I can't talk" again.

Which is something I hope UN people take into consideration if anyone asks them if something is wrong, because they really can't talk.  It's impossible.

This also reminded me to include the part about my son couldn't talk and lost his ability to say things after he was tortured.  I used to just describe it as "He stopped talking" or say he lost his ability to talk.  This made it sound like he was mute or something, and not making noises and was quiet.

I didn't realize that this was how some would interpret what I meant.  Because yes, it sounded like it was possible he just wasn't talking at all, just quiet all of a sudden, like he had a psychological reason to not want to communicate.

But that is not what it was.

He still jabbered and made lots of noises, but it was disorganized.  It was disorganized to the point, that he would try to speak all the time, and he made lots of sounds and laughed, and made an effort, but he wasn't able to articulate the same words he knew before.

He was fully speaking at a very young age.  My son was talking before 9 months of age.  He was talking so early, that when I told doctors, there is a problem, because he was talking and now he's not, they all blew it off and said, "Well boys don't start talking until they're 2 years old sometimes."

The doctors made it sound as though my son just wasn't talking at all yet, and had never been talking.  Or possibly, they assumed if he had been talking and then quit, it wasn't a big deal until age 2.  What they said to me, was that boys sometimes don't talk until age 2.

Oliver was talking very early.  He was saying full words.  He was not just saying words randomly, but associating them with the correct objects.  He knew what he was communicating to me.

He was tortured after I wrote about the words he could say and how he was talking already.  I sent email to my Mom and Dad and to a few others.  He was not tortured until he began talking early and I wrote about it.  The only other thing that happened at that time, is both he and I went to the hospital with a sudden vomiting that occured after this odd compression feeling in the building and then release.  It is really hard to describe. It wasn't a psychoclogical or "psychic" feeling, it was an actual feeling.  We went to the hospital and my son was separated from me and seen by Dr. Butler who I had litigation pending against, and he knew it.  I don't know what he did to my son in the other room.  Maybe he just examined him.  If he gave him a shot, or IV, or anything else, I wouldn't know.  If Dr. Butler didn't do anything to him out of my sight, the only reason and cause for my son's sudden inability to talk was torture by technology.  There was nothing else different in our environment or with my care or his behavior or foods or drink.

Dr. Butler already knew I was planning to sue him.  He stayed out of my view while he was in the hospital and when I asked later where my son had gone, I was told, "Dr. Butler looked at him."

One of the doctors who said don't worry about his speech was Dr. Stuart Freed.  But the problem was that a normal child who was talking very early and who had no gaps in development or backwards effects of any area, suddenly could not articulate what he wanted to say anymore.

It was like they had fried my son's brain.

When I went to Canada, I made an appointment with a speech therapist about it.  I was told I could, even if we were not citizens.  She said they'd check psychological and if he seemed okay with me, then they would do an MRI or scans to look at his brain or other testing.

It wasn't like Oliver had said one word, one time, and then he wasn't talking.  He was using the same words often, and was already building a vocabulary.  I didn't coach him, he did it himself.    He had an established vocabularly base and then all of a sudden he was not only not saying new words, he lost his entire vocabulary that was already practiced and habit for him.

The United States ruined Oliver's life.

One time for me, in my life, I quit talking as much, when I was around Monica at one point.  But it wasn't because of torture, it was for psychological reasons, such as, someone keeps criticizing everything you do so you quit talking.  That is a normal form of not speaking as much.  I would buy a new couch and ask her opinion, and she'd give a horrible negative comment.  I selected a paint color and started painting the walls and she said it looked like baby poop.  For awhile, it was every single thing I did, and if I tried to have a normal conversation, Monica was on this tangent of saying nothing but negative things.  She criticized my artistry to the point that I quit talking to her, because I didn't need the negative comments and feedback.  Even when I quit talking to her, she was making negative comments.  So I said nothing around her.  It was that way for a few months and then she left and when she did, I could talk again.  It was like a weight off of my shoulders.  It's very normal to not invite criticism, or not talk to negative people, sure, but Monica and I always talked, about everything.  So for me to clam up around her, was a response to a sudden downgrading of her perceptions.  It wasn't like, now and then.  Or having a difference of artistic opinion.  It was every single day, no matter what I said. 

On one single thing she later told me she'd changed her mind, and said, "Now I like it".  After I put the "baby poop" color on my walls in my bedroom, and decorated, she later said she liked it and she was wrong.  It was the best room in the house.  It was warm and artistic and cozy, and the color of walls was the perfect background for framed pictures and paintings, and my bedspread.  It even highlighted my oak floors that I refinished and had stained.

So yeah, I understand psychological reasons for self-chosen (subconcious or not) mutism or deciding not to speak as much at least.  Probably a lot of people understand this kind of normal response.  I literally clammed up for a couple of months. 

But with Oliver, that's not what happened to him.

He didn't just stop making noises and quit talking and trying to talk, he was unable to form ideas and words in the same way, after he was injured and being harmed by the U.S.

I didn't understand how what I was saying about Oliver was being interpreted or understood until CPS accused ME of "causing your child to quit talking" and when I accused them of neglect of my son, and not setting up a speech therapist, they tried to blame me, based off of what I told them and wrote.

But they got it wrong.  My son didn't quit speaking or go silent or not want to communicate.  It was that his brain couldn't work the same way anymore.  He still made noises and expressions, and attemped to say things, and nothing was working the same.  The U.S. fried his brain.

The U.S. then continued to torture him in East Wenatchee after we moved from Methow in Wenatchee.

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