Monday, December 8, 2008

I'm 24 Years Old, On Canada, and Other Thoughts

I've had about 3 or 4 guys recently ask me if I was "24" and guess that to be my age. This seems to be the magic number, although I don't think I look that much younger than my true age. Maybe on a good day, when I'm well-hydrated.

I think I've aged a lot in the last few years.

I don't know where I'm going with my writing today. I'm just rambling about everything.

Not on Xanax either. I've taken only 3 total, since the baby died. Which is pretty good, actually, and I only used them at night. The pharmacist said not to take them longer than 3 days so I think this is my last night and then I'll have leftovers.

Who knows, maybe I'll need one in the future for the heart attack I almost have when someone decides to step forward on behalf of me and my son. I'll even share. You can have one, and I'll have one.

You know I can't consider Canada for political asylum. They were willing to sell me and my son out and I don't trust everyone they've got in their government either. I've actually heard of a lot of complaints about how some Canadians think the government is really run by a small sector of people, and that the number of French Catholics is greatly disproportionate to the Canadian protestants and others, so a lot of things get tipped in Quebec's favor, moreso than would usually be possible.

I read about that before going to Canada, but I tried it out. One thing Canada has going for them is saner laws about rights of children and parents (they don't go after polygamists, for example, when it's not criminal or it's consensual), international rights of others (in general), and their medical care, may be better than U.S. care. I say that, because you cannot have improvements in medicine if you're a nation unwilling to try new things or do research on things--for example, marijuana. Canada has done research in areas the U.S. is paranoid about, and THEY still use ergotamine in IV form, when the U.S. doesn't, to save on cost. Ergotamine doesn't work the same in tablet or nasal form--I tried it. The IV stuff WORKS and the U.S. should still be making it available to people who suffer from migraine.

Somehow, I have to find a country that will help me to become rich, to get my son and hold others accountable, and then fight for justice for others, and also, I have to have general tolerance for the fact that I'm an outspoken woman, and my migraines have not been treatable by anything other than marijuana (for prevention).

I don't mind going to a country and even covering my head, out of respect for the culture, if I'm just allowed to be me in general. I dress modestly anyway, and wearing a scarf on my head would be no big deal.

I just have to find a place where we think we can tolerate eachother and have respect for one another. I know I can contribute to a countries economy through some of my talents and skills. I could tutor people in English, if needed, but what I think I would be best at, is writing poetry and novels that sell worldwide. If I can do that, that country would get profits as much as I would, and I would credit that country for making it possible for me to do such things. I can also sing on the side and write songs, but I'd like to write some books.

I would want to be safe, as a single woman, in a country, and allowed to write and sing and make a lot of money, which I would give back to that country, and use to further my cause for my son and to help the oppressed in the U.S. and shake the system down.

Some Middle Eastern countries will put you in jail for "doing drugs", but I wonder if there are a few that would be tolerant of very rare use of pot for medicinal reasons? Because it would just be more expensive for them to have to treat me at their ER all the time.

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