Fashion & Songs (If You Could Only See--Tonic)

I was in a short lived chat with someone who sparked my memory about some fashion notes I made recently while flipping through mags for about 15 minutes.

I am listening to The Tonic's "If You Could Only See The Way She Loves Me". I had this song on my mind last night and sang different variations. I hadn't heard it recently at all. For some odd reason, last night it came to my mind and I couldn't get it out. So I sang it, over and over, in different forms.

I also sang something I made up but the melody was good and then I didn't know what to do with lyrics. It was free form.

This guy said he had a fashion question for me but he didn't. However, then I remembered some notes I made about things I liked and designers I'm drawn to. I only saw a few spring collections in magazines and didn't study them, and then I also looked through "W" magazine and loved the layout. But I didn't like everything.

In general, I liked Gucci, Fendi, Prada, and Chanel. I could without the other designers. There were a couple of new ones I liked too, but I'd have to see what I wrote down. Even if I liked most of it, I don't know that I'd wear what is there. I didn't like the long, draped dresses, in general. I liked more structure and prefered the shorter skirts to the long ones. I will have to go get my notes. I used to read magazines with some french fashions and then memorize what I liked and find vintage at thrift stores but I don't have time to do that now, and there are not a lot of vintage stores here either.

Oh, I can't read everything now because I wrote it on a napkin and then put it in my pocket. I've no style now, but that's bc no money dictates!

I liked Chanel and wrote (for looks, not to wear) in the collection I saw. Then I listed Prada, and I think these were mainly my picks from "W" magazine...Versace & Versace Atelier, Erdem (?), sort of D&C but not overdone--too goth, Haider Ackerman, Fendi, Gucci (but too ornamental), Anna Sui (but maybe too femme?) and Bottaga V. This was from W mag.

Then I looked at the other collections and mainly liked Fendi, wearable, and some of the others, in the wild designs, were too wild or colorful, however, I did love this one, wouldn't wear it, unless it was a serious outrageous sort of costume party, but I loved the colors and artistry, and it was Alexander McQueen, pg. 46 of Elle magazine, the butterfly/insect/skull kind of whatever it is. I liked something about it as it was a representation of nature. I think I liked Gucci again as well.
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How weird. I think there is something about why this song came to my mind last night. I just watched the video, the first one that came up and then the official version. Here's the official version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sfg6-4mBs6Y.

I knew last night that there was something important about this song. I heard it as one where I am not the other, but the one with eyes so blue...in the sense that it came to mind but I had no one else in my mind at all. I did get a little spooked by the video because I have felt for a long time, that there has been video taken of me without my knowledge or consent, just as there has been audio that's gone out about me. If it's happened I would have no way of knowing, but I've heard certain things, so it makes me wonder.

This is the first one that I saw, it was the one on the list first: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llkJlY9gLJE, but I've never seen that movie or the video so I don't get the clips. So I went to the official video. I guess it's a compilation of clips from the series "Heroes" which I know nothing about.
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Something that came to mind tonight:

I Corinthians 15:54
So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory.

This verse talks about the corruptible body then passing over to the incorruptible, eternal soul, but I also think it has relevance in how this is applied to life in general, that what Buddists or others might call enlightenment is similiar to also being transformed from one thing to the next. Death is swallowed up in victory...I especially love this part. Incorruptible means there is absolutely no chance any power will change the form from incorruptible to corruptible. If someone is incorruptible, it is impossible and everyone knows, it is impossible, to change this. If someone or something is corruptible though, once corrupted, is it possible to go back? At what cost and how can it be done?

Is someone corruptible if they are pressured and intimidated, in fear of their lives or the lives of others, to go along? Or are they not really corruptible and actually just oppressed? If someone goes along, in the short term, to try to get ahead in the long run and turn things around, how is this possible and with what methods?

Depending on the circumstances, how deep is the damage? Many people, but not all, have a "price". People can be, usually, bought, or controlled by some means. If it's not money, it's power, or peer pressure and the choice between alienation and being ostrasized or part of a community.

If people in power who have the authority to keep order or make a difference, refuse to use their powers for good and with equal measure, if they are already "bought" what does it take to free those who are innocent?

Some people spread their influence in a manner which all can see, like Saddam spraying some of his own family members with poisons...but there are others who spread their influence in a way which is intended to be secretive and not easily discovered or caught. And if it is caught, the person one would go to has already been bought.

I don't know anyone in particular, where this has occured, but the idea came to me today, while thinking about this man who came to a meeting to talk about peace processes. He talked about the Palestinian-Israeli conflict and then also a little about Ireland and yet I wonder too, if there is more to it, over there, than meets the eye, or maybe not. I also wondered tonight if he was aware of the conflicts which exist even in Wenatchee and what he would have to say about that. So in thinking about these things, and in noticing how some people acted that meeting, and how I was told I was being taken home with "Billy" I just wondered.

I wonder really how someone is able to talk about peace processes if they are not able to also address some basic things which they must be aware of on a basic level, which is even local. I just wanted to ask more questions, and find out more, but instead, I was distracted once again by the multitude of "messages" some wanted to give me and I really have no idea what any of it was supposed to mean, especially when I feel some don't genuinely care about me or my son more than they care about the "game". It feels very "off".

I do agree, entirely, about the insights the speaker had. It was really good. It just seemed ironic, that we were talking about so many kinds of conflicts and yet there was a dichotomy there in that room which has affected my own son directly, and then I felt like I was still part of some kind of game. And then, all this as a good point was being made about the Palestinian-Israeli conflict in the sense that while I don't know all the details there, it seems strange that the Palestinians have to have a "star" on their passports, designated by the Israelis he said, where the same Israelis had to have a star on their own passports while in Germany way back. I felt pretty objective about it all because on one hand I believe the Palestinians need their own land and are oppressed, but on the other hand, when we start talking about maps and territories, I know it goes back farther than in just the last 50 years so it gets difficult. Everything is so complicated when it comes to viable land and borders. But yeah, after hearing from this Irish guy, N. Ireland, who also has done work with the British side, who had this very nice accent, well, then with all the global warming talk and sustainable environment stuff, I'm told I'm getting a ride with so-and-so even though I already had a ride lined up, and that "Billy" is going to go with me. Which, honestly, if people knew how many games have been played here, they would understand this was like a joke on William of Wales, or a joke on me about him. Thankfully, I can report the dogs and little caps and english accents have been abating ever since I posted something about it. I told someone today, joking, that I was going to go out and buy a turquoise jacket just for the hell of it, and wear it, but then some might think it wasn't a joke but a matter of wishful thinking.

I am not influenced, in my decision-making, by signs anymore though. If I am influenced by signs, they are only signs which I feel I get directly from God which has nothing to do with anyone else. If I then share something with someone, it isn't an effort on my part, to influence them at all, but to just relay the message if I think there is one.

Sometimes, those who are in the right, and are for justice and equality, I guess, have to use extraordinary means to fight a larger system that's abusing its powers and authorities. These would be what some call "freedom fighters".

I care. I care about people of every kind, even if I might piss off people of every kind, I do care, and I don't believe it's healthy to act in a coordinated way to the dictates of someone else. Unless it's just for a unified cause, in general, I think people should say, act, think, do, dress, and connect in the way they feel they should at that moment. I feel what is right is transparency.

People should know the pros and cons of everything. I read this article about gold in The National Geographic and thought, my first thought, was "Profiting From Misery" which was the title of Princess Di's dossier which was destroyed after her death.

No one should be profiting from the absolute misery and dejection of others, and especially not from innocents and children.