Carl and Mary DelBalzo in FBI--Hostility Over Prayer

I have been wondering for a long time, if Carl and Mary DelBalzo are FBI.

I know they felt guilty about something, back in 1996 when I worked for them and I seriously question what kind of gig they have that they didn't want to share about.

I know they were mad at me when Mary DelBalzo's NY or East Coast brother had some kind of a bike accident that left him in a coma.

Mary DelBalzo was jealous of me. I think it was part of the reason she fired me.

For whatever reason, even though I wasn't after her husband and didn't flirt with him, she acted the same way Lorraine Rose did--not wanting to give me credit for anything I did that might show I had some natural creative talent or ability or good money making sense.

With Lorraine, she was always minimizing things about my virginity, my entreuprenerial and investment skills (at age 21 even), and I think that was about it. It was mainly her downplaying me as being a professional type of woman with high standards. I mean, if I mentioned my house, she was always cutting me down to say I had to pay rent, not mortgage, and didn't want to acknowledge I owned my own house at age 21. If it was virginity, she was always hoping I'd go out and get it on with a bunch of people and sully myself. However, I had workers that came into her house or in general and they badmouthed her a LOT and I never did. I never would have even spoken up about the family if I had not been defamed in the newspaper and then tortured. Being tortured is reason to start wondering what the deal is.

With Mary DelBalzo, she never said a word about my dating or not dating (that I remember) or anything. It was actually more about religion. It was religion and jealousy of my creative abilities.

Mary was a "I can do everything" type of person, and highly talented. Really, I admired her in so many ways, and still give her credit for having such a wide variety of skills. She could cook, sewed Disney outfits for her girls, hugged and loved her girls with much affection when she was around them, and she was even a decent singer who could actually play guitar. She had so many creative talents. Oh! She even made homemade pasta one time and biscotti and had it all laid out--I thought it was absolutely great. I loved working for this Italian family and they were easy going and not uptight. If the house had a little creative clutter, so be it. In that sense, it was the best "match" for employers that I'd ever had. And their girls were so much fun. I was slightly closer to Sarah but it was because she was with my ALL day, 12 hours. And Angelina was going to school so we didn't see eachother as much. The other thing I admired about Mary was how she tried to foster a sense of independence in her girls. The other kids stood at the bus stop with their mothers' having clearly dressed them, and Angelina picked everything out for herself even if it slightly mismatched.

In some ways, the direct opposite of Lisa Thebault whose son Philip begged to wear cartoon shirts and rowdy up with the other kids. Lisa wanted to dress her kids in polos and things from le petite something or other imported from France.

This, the contrast of parenting ideas, is one reason I loved my job as a nanny and learned so much. I seriously eagerly paid attention to all of the different families, and whatever they wanted ME to do, I did, in accordance with how THEY chose to raise their children. I fully supported whatever the family wanted. And then, in my mind I was always thinking, "I really like THIS about how Lisa does THIS with her kids" or "Mary has a really good idea here--I think I will do this with my own children one day".

Because my primary goal was to develop myself to be an outstanding mother, I gained so much insight into parenting styles and felt so thankful.

If you want to run a business, you get a mentor sometimes. If you want to be a politician, why not take an internship? If you want to be a #1 Mom, you take internships as a nanny. Which is exactly why I kept working as a nanny. I developed myself and learned from other parents. I also learned what I did NOT agree with or like, and watched the kids and paid attention to how they were feeling.

So having said this, my work with the DelBalzos was easy going. It wasn't a super uptight family. They had a thing about giving their kids "lots of hugs" and affection. And they chose not to try for another child bc, as Mary said, she didn't want her girls to feel they weren't good enough, as girls, so her parents wanted a boy to replace them.

I've always tried to be nice about how I write about the DelBalzos, but truth be told, there is something wrong. There WERE a few problems at the end, and it was because Mary was jealous and because of religious reasons. And after this, they got more and more distant and sketchy. I mean, like, "sketchy", like I wondered who they really worked for. Or, who they worked "with".

(Hold onto the edge of your desk while the earth quakes, by the way. 1:05 p.m.)

So this is what "went down" with the DelBalzos:

Mary got jealous. And then after getting jealous, she got mad about prayer.

She got jealous, for one thing, over my creative ability. I don't know why, because she was creative herself, but I think she didn't like the idea that she followed formulas to come up with something, and I winged it and was successful. Basically, she followed a pattern, and I didn't. She learned to read music and played, and I played by ear. Everything I did, I did from natural instinct and everything she did was through years of training. I think it got to her.

For example, I would make these really good eastern indian dishes just off the top of my head and her girls were then raving about it and asking Mary to make the same thing. She needed a recipe. I didn't. And in fact, I didn't even try to upset her and wasn't even thinking about it, I was just doing my thing, like Snow White in the woods with all the little animals flocking and naively not even realizing someone was getting more and more jealous. I think Mary was used to be the #1 Star at everything, and rightfully so, with all her hard work. But she started getting really jealous of my instinctual abilities and I was oblivious to this.

I mean, as a nanny, jealousy from parents NATURALLY comes up sometimes. But with Mary, it wasn't about my being a nanny. It was more about my abilities as a woman in my own right.

So she asked me how did you make that rice dish? And I had no clue. I mean, I went to the spice cupboard and shook in a dash here and a dash there and tasted, and added another dash and it all just turned out. So I told her, "I don't know. I just put a little of ______ and ______, ___________, __________, and _________ and a little bit of butter. I remember she got upset. It was like she thought I was trying to be purposefully evasive about how I cooked and I wasn't. She said, "Where did you get the recipe?" and I said, "There wasn't a recipe, I just made it." And then she said, "Well, how many tsps or what was the measurement?" and I said, "I don't know. I just put in a little of this and that. I didn't measure out anything."

So it wasn't just my spicy sweet curry rice. It was other things I made and she'd ask the same thing and get sort of miffed and I had to tell her the same thing again. I didn't measure. And sometimes, I varied it up and didn't even remember what I'd used that time, bc I was in the flow and just mixed it up.

It's like painting from the heart. You don't think about it. You feel it. You don't even have to remember which color you mixed with what, because you're having too much fun following your heart or gut instinct about it to bother with precise measurements and formulas. Usually, for me, it turns out, and sometimes, in experimenting it doesn't. More often than not, I had success.

But I couldn't figure out why she got so weird and sort of upset over it.

Then, the other thing I remember, was she got jealous about my flower arrangements. I started making fresh flower bouquets to put next to the sink or on the table and she asked where I'd bought the flowers or who did the arrangement. I told her, "I did it" and she said, "Where did you get all these different things?" and I said, "From your garden" and she said, "I didn't realize we even had some of ___."

See, Mary was an ultimate "green thumb" too. She could make anything grow. But she resented the fact that while she could get something to grow, I was able to transform a bunch of separate plants into an exotic and creative bouquet. She had a neat row here and a neat row there. And everything grew lush. But it wasn't a creative pairing, and I went out and snapped off a twig of this tree, with buds on it, and a branch from the shrub, some leaves from the flowers and flowers from the climbing vines or whatever, and made really beautiful bouquets. And it took me less than a half hour. She got weirded out by this too.

I also sang original and creative songs for her girls and Sarah used to sit in rapt attention just listening, listening and silent. She was captivated with it and very smart. A 3 year old that sat in front of me with nothing to play with and just wanted to hear me sing and play guitar. Once Carl walked in and I didn't know he was there and Sarah was sitting there silent in rapt attention.

Okay, so Mary started getting miffed about my creativity but I guess, since I didn't have recipes and they liked what I made, she asked me to start cooking for them too. For the entire family. So I was fine with that but I sort of thought, if I'm being asked to take on a new role, as both nanny and family cook, I would think I might get a small raise. Instead, she said, "Just cook for us and then you can take home some leftovers for yourself."

Sarah and I developed such a close bond, in that year, that she started sobbing when I left each day to go to my house. Angelina liked me, and I gave her this dress that had been mine, which I'd kept since I was a little girl. We got along very well and she was very sweet, if sometimes morose in temperment. But I wasn't an ordinary nanny. I put my entire heart into it and loved the kids, played with them hands on, and then let them have some of their free play too. I guess Sarah enjoyed my company enough that she didn't want me to leave, even though she knew I was coming back the next day. Mary came home and I had to leave and Sarah was bursting into tears. I really don't know if Mary was just tired when she got home and preoccupied with work so she didn't spend as much time with Sarah, or if Sarah just wanted me to always be with her, but she bonded with me and first she was sobbing when I had to leave, then grabbing my pant legs and hiding behind ME, away from her mother at the door.

Real great. I stood there, thinking, "Oh my gosh."

It's like, you do your best, and try to love and care for someone else's kids and be fun, and then you're worried about The Mother Bear and if she'll be happy about that, or get jealous and swipe you with a claw.

So not only was Sarah sobbing when I had to leave, she was trying to hide behind me, go with me, and push the door shut. And Mary was just staring and I was shocked and saying, "I'll see you tomorrow Sarah! I'm coming back tomorrow and then we'll play okay?!"

I mean, not just once or twice. Every single time, and big tears. Sobbing. And trying to keep me from leaving. Mary standing there like someone was stabbing her in the heart repeatedly, big brown eyes looking guilty and shocked.

Oh it was GREAT!

Nothing like jealousy. What a reward for good deeds.

So this led right into a kind of hostility for Mary. She didn't turn outright hostile, but she freaked out when I taught Sarah how to pray.

FREAKED OUT.

It was like this Catholic hate thing then. You would think, that if "we're all christians", a mother would think it's really sweet and cute for their kid to learn to say a short prayer before eating a meal.

Not Mary. HeLLO FANGS.

Sarah was 3 then and she asked me about God. I don't remember why. Some of my music that I played was christian, like Rich Mullins, so maybe that's why. And I told her God loved her very much and watched all she did and protected her. And that Jesus loved her too. I said, if you want, you can send a message to God by praying. Do you want to pray over our food before we eat? And she nodded and I said a short prayer, ending with "Amen".

Mary must be very passive-aggressive actually.

Because all we did was pray before eating lunch, and Mary never said, "I don't want Sarah to pray", Angelina announced to me, "WE don't PRAY before we eat." For Sarah, it filled a very genuine desire to pray to God and she was really satisfied with it. I told Mary about it too and she didn't say not to but looked mad and I didn't know why.

All of a sudden, she had her girls making the sign of the cross and including Mary in everything and Angelina was going to go to Mass. They decided to go back to their Roman Catholic church.

And basically, I got hell for it.

Angelina said, "WE'RE CATHOLIC, and you're not" or something like that.

Right about this time, I was fired. I wasn't "technically" fired, because actually what happened was Mary quit her job as a lawyer.

I wonder if the DelBalzos know the Middletons actually. Hmmm. Wouldn't that be fascinating. Or someone who knows someone.

So about the time I taught Sarah to pray, Mary introduced me to her Jewish neighbor who told me her daughter was studying to be a rabbi in Israel. I didn't know women could be rabbis, but it was the more radical form of judaism. The lady was nice and Mary sort of mocked her a little, saying she was a little weird but maybe I'd like her. I don't know why I still remember, but I still remember she always wore a headscarf on her head and she showed me some kind of travel guide for Israel. She was right over the fence, to one side of the DelBalzos.

So what happened, was actually the DelBalzos still wanted me to work for them and even cook too but I said I'd rather not cook unless there was a small raise with it. Then Sarah was sobbing whenever Mary came home and begging me not to leave, and that happened for about 2 months until Mary quit her job as a lawyer at Intel in Wilsonville, Oregon, and said she was going to "stay home" with her girls.

So what happened next?

She started working for the FBI?

They wrote out a good letter of recommendation for me. The Delbalzos did. Why? Because it is true I was a top-notch nanny. The best. I was probably one of the best nannies, when it comes to nannies, and I wasn't a big homely one like some of the mothers wanted in their house, so women who were slightly more secure with themselves were okay with me.

I had this great letter of recommendation but then Mary didn't even want her girls to visit me. It was like she was still jealous and didn't want her girls to see me. The couple of times I visited, Sarah still cried and begged me not to leave. She got so emotional about it, that Mary didn't have me over again for months. I mean, she deliberately kept her daughter from having a slower withdrawal from her nanny and tried to just cut it off.

Which I don't think is healthy for a child, personally. Then, after about 6 months went by, I was allowed to see them again and it was in the afternoon after they'd gorged on sweets and were ready for a nap. It was like Mary did everything in her power that day, to make them tired and fill them up with so many treats, they didn't care as much as before.

I mean, I understand the jealousy. I do. But she was definitely jealous and I do think there is some connection to the FBI with the DelBalzos. I had them over for dinner once, to my new house in St. Johns, and made NY steaks in a black peppercorn sauce and a bunch of other delicious side dishes. I spent a lot of money on making dinner for them.

For whatever reason, they just looked guilty.

Mary kept her head down almost the entire time, and had this really guilty look on her face and I ALWAYS wondered why. Carl looked guilty too.

That was early 1997.

They didn't want to talk, looked down at their plates, and looked guilty.

Carl The Big Red Bad Dog.

And then after this, I wondered what was happening to my refences bc I was having a hard time getting hired all of sudden, after then working for Ed Israel and Lorraine Rose. It was like, I seriously wondered what the DelBalzos were saying over the phone, because they were who I had listed as references and I was getting weird feedback. Then my letter was stolen. I had my letter of reference from them, written by Carl, stolen from me. After it was stolen, I just used their phone number and name but something was up.

And then the last time I ever talked to Mary, before she told me to never use them as a reference again...

(fascinating)

...was to call and ask her about filing a report against Richard Whittemore with the Oregon State Bar. Richard Whittemore.

She and Dick probably knew eachother.

She told me not to. She said, "Don't file a complaint with the Oregon State Bar. I did one time and it was a huge hassle and not worth the effort and took a lot of time and it's not worth the problems."

After I went ahead and filed the complaint and had contacted the FBI about the PLF before this even, Mary, in our next conversation, told me not to use them as references anymore.

And I was struggling to get work at all bc something was wrong with someone I listed as a reference, and I was being blacklisted. So I ended up working at Helzberg Diamonds at the mall and Carl DelBalzo walked in and saw me there once, and I thought, "He is happy that I'm working in a mall." I got this feeling that he'd done something he shouldn't have. I was nice to him, but I didn't have the best "vibe". He was sort of checking me out but I could tell there was something wrong. Like, he wasn't on my side.

And at some point, it finally crossed my mind, very loudly:

Carl or Mary DelBalzo have something to do with the Portland, Oregon FBI offices. And also, the DelBalzo's are friends with some of the people who made themselves my enemies.

Catholic Hate Crime makes tremendous strides. Right into the courthouse.

It was odd. When I had them to my house for dinner, they looked guilty and wouldn't look me in the eye, and then when they left, Mary had this odd triumphant and haughty air about her and I think it was because Sarah didn't burst into tears when they left.

I think people like the DelBalzos have ruined the FBI.

Before my son and I were tortured even worse in East Wenatchee, I had also been looking up the DelBalzos and their connections to Whittemore or other Catholics and persons I was then involved with.

My family has been tortured.

I would bet you anything, Panetta somehow, indirectly knows them. It's not like there are tons of govt. connection American-Italians in the U.S. Maybe a separation of so many degrees, but if they are with FBI, certain things follow.

It's really been some kind of Jewish group and then collusion with Catholic hate crime. I think there are rotten Protestants too, but probably it wasn't religion with them--just going along with greed or bribes. Bc yeah, I've met bad in every group.

To me, how is it possible my son and I were EVER tortured? when I had worked for all these "connected" people? and they knew me? It's not possible unless some of them were rotten and mean, I mean, even former employers...something not adding up. Maybe at some point someone felt sorry for what they'd done or contributed to. If that's the case, I'd love to know.

Sometime, for the kids I was a nanny for, I'll write about what experiences we had and what they were like when they were little.

I remember a lot and maybe some of the now-adults would like to hear stories, since some of their parents might not remember or want me to share.

Nothing bad. But I could fill in some things.

Do you want to know what's crazy?

I was an excellent nanny for all these kids and their parents know it and I ended up with MY child TORTURED and stolen from me.

How does this happen?

Who stood up for MY son?

It's truly CRAZY