Today: shopping and mafia working with CIA

I was planning to work on a complaint but today my mother was going to a larger town where there are better shopping options. It was fine on the way there, and she had her reasons for wanting to hurry, but I was sort of fuzzy-headed from my fast and not thinking clearly. ALSO, I had a list, but it was a partial list and of course I shop FAST when I have no "dietary restrictions". I usually know enough about nutrition and good deals to just pick and choose decisively, but ummmm...try cutting out CHEESE, MEAT, ALL WHEAT and GRAINS, and anything with SUGAR, YEAST, or animal product, OH! and cut out all FRUIT. No STARCH either, like potatoes, etc. There are a lot of "non-gluten" products that still have tons of starch. Oh, and no vinegar and some nuts are no's.

Now YOU try shopping fast.

It is NOT easy to find things to make for a balanced diet when you are limiting like this. I was even picking out honeydew and cantalopes and had them in my cart at one point and then I remembered, oh yeah, they're fruit. So I put them back. I was going to get this one tofu that looked really good but I remembered this is limiting soy, not eliminating, but I was planning to get soy milk so that would be enough.

I got some pretty good deals.

When I got home I just ate a few things, without cooking, that sounded good and had a handful of roasted pumpkin seeds, and then went for the marinated artichoke hearts. Supposed to avoid vinegar but I really love artichoke hearts. Ate a few from the jar. Wrapped some presents and then my strongest craving was for sauerkraut. I got it cheap but it's good, just cabbage, salt, and a little water. Libby's Crispy Sauerkraut. It's in a can instead of a jar, but I thought I'd try it and it's good. I ate an entire half of the can. I then realized, I should be eating, and could happily eat, a cup of this a day. Sauerkraut is for non-dairy acidolphilus, but I've always loved it.

Then I wrapped presents for my son and then carved a small bad part from an organic pie pumpkin and got ready to make a pumpkin without too much sweetener. In all my purchases, the only items with a smidge of sugar are my small jar of Veganaise (for when I make my falafel, etc) and then I got 2 different kinds of Silk Soy Milk, the unsweetened kind and then the DHA added one. I forgot it has sweetener. I think they should make a DHA unsweetened variety and they haven't done this yet. So I was going to use their recipe for a silk pumpkin pie and then they have a non-vegan crust recipe so I was thinking of alternatives and pecan would be good, but this diet says walnuts only and I was holding out for black walnuts in the shell but no one has them right now. So I got a few organic shelled ones and I'm going to make a crust with them.

The pie calls for 2 eggs but you can use flaxmeal as an egg substitute.

This pumpkin tastes so good I almost don't want to make it into a pie. It just tastes really good slightly blanched. Steamed, whatever. I have to puree it in the blender and then I don't have a full oven, I have a toaster oven!

So I'm using a round glass ceramic bowl and patting out the crust at the bottom and then pouring the rest over the top. Yummmy.

I guess it was nice to take a break.

Oh, and it was so nice, this woman just gave it to me because it was bumped up and had a round mark on it. It was just that spot, otherwise fine, and organic, so I carved it thinking about surgery again and how much to leave in and how much to leave out. And it has these great seeds I am going to dry for making an extract.

I also made one tiny purchase for myself for something I've always liked: candles. So I got a small little pot of vanilla scented, which is what I used to get for years, from the time I was a teen to out-on-my-own. I tried a few other scents now and then but I always had vanilla. It was $1 and I bought a couple boxes of matches.

Then, the other thing I did which was different was something that made me think of Granny.

I was 100% vegan until I got this and I did deliberate, for the whole idea, but this was my one small break until I find other and better replacements for what this can do that are non-animal product. I mean, if I could afford to buy chlorella tablets I would but I can't afford out-of-pocket stuff, and I have no RNA-DNA or complete amino acid or B12 product. I just discovered Silk soy milk because I was looking for something for vegans with good supplementary B12. Really, I was also reading about sardines packed in oil and BOY oh boy was I just thinking about how good they sounded.

If I go back to vegetarian instead of vegan, I will definitely eat sardines, herring, whatever, again. I read about this man who lived to be 132 and they asked him what he ate and he said "sardines and crackers" and I thought, "That sounds really good."

Back to the bee pollen. It supposedly helps with low blood pressure and other things. Granny used to use royal jelly (just a jelly from the bees and they call it this) and I remember the day, still, when she gave me some. I was just a little girl, standing in her kitchen and she said she wanted me to take something and I asked what it was and she said, "Royal Jelly". I still remember that very day, the first day she gave me some and she talked about why it was called that and how it was very good for you. I remember, I loved my Granny, but I sort of thought it was this kind of eccentric thing. I mean, who takes "royal jelly" made by the bees? But yeah, she knew what she was talking about, even back there in the 80s. She gave it to me with a specifically chosen spoon. And I still remember the look on her face when she was giving it to me the first time, her smile and the look in her eyes. Like the elixir of a secret. Then she asked what I thought and I think I said, "I don't feel any different." I was waiting for some big thing to happen but I nodded and said sure. I think I shrugged. She always used it though, for years and years. Maybe more like decades. I have no idea why she quit taking it but I don't think she's even had it since sometime in the late 90s.

So I have bought a few granules almost every month but I was taking a pinch at a time. No reaction so after feeling so tired and getting light-headed to the point of almost blacking out, when going from crouching or sitting or lying down to standing, I read this raises blood pressure that's chronically low, and has a lot of other good benefits.

I read up on it and there is pollen, jelly, and resin. They are all very good for you and have just slightly different make-ups and are maybe good for different things.

And I got this huge jar of coconut oil! I went against the rules there, but I think there are some benefits to it and instead of cooking with olive oil and other oils, I'm going with LouAna. I know, technically, to look for expeller-pressed organic oils but hey, how bad could LouAna BE? I opened it up and tasted it when I got home and it tastes great. It was half the price of the organic stuff and I'm going to cook with it. I used organic for supplement form when I was pregnant with my son.

He really had the best of the best.

I guess, from what I've intuited, some group has deliberately tried to ruin, destroy, and screw up my son. Destroying everything about him from the mind he was given when he was born to me, to traumatizing his personality, to creating fear, and taking everything from him, his knowledge of things and trying to confuse him. Disoriented him. Torturing him. Degrading him via Anne Crane and others, who lied about him to his face and blamed him. Who sold him into secrecy. Even ruining his discriminating tongue and ability to know good foods and choose well for himself. They've starved him. There are mafia that stole his food and toys. And oh, the State and CPS know all about it.

My photo of my brother is of him standing with a swollen bump on his head, from military, holding my skinny son.

These people have destroyed life.

The CIA works hand in hand with the Mafia. And after they've used you, said a man from another country to me, "...they dump you."

They sold me off to military. Literally.

They tried to use my sexual attractiveness and when I wouldn't go for that anymore, they punished me and decided to torture me and deliberately make me ugly. I was past their little expiration date. So they allowed people to do the most unspeakable things to my family and dumped us off. Since we're in the U.S., I guess that's why they didn't just kill us like all the other people the CIA uses.

And that's exactly what they did to the Taliban and others they once were "friends" with--they took their time, fomented cause for a war, and killed them off after they got what they wanted. Which is exactly what they're doing with stirring up "revolution" in the Middle East right now. They're trading and dealing arms now, and after awhile, those newly made "friends" are toast.

That's the reputation those in charge are giving this country.

They then tell the FBI who already has a motive to not help out, to cover THEIR backs and stay out of the way and let fall what may.

I was past my expiration date but still attractive but since I refused to have sex with their men or man, they retaliated and then finally, no more protection. They let whoever wanted to, rob me of everything: my dignity, my looks, my voice, my health, my son.

That's the CIA.

I am sort of wondering what is going on with my health too, now that they zapped my head repeatedly, just like they did to my brother, to the point of creating a horrendous delayed swelling. I think they did something to affect my fertility, deliberately.

I have always said I want more children. I have never been in menopause or peri-menopause and all women in my family have late menopause, in their 50s. So right after this huge bump shows up on my head, after I was zapped repeatedly, which caused severe pain, now I'm having odd intermittent bleeding that it totally not normal for me.

This occured after I kept saying, in our house, which is bugged, that I am not getting married to any of these guys and I'm not going to have a relationship when I am trying to get my son back.

It's more like retaliation for something. Someone wants to deliberately destroy my fertility. I had a bloody nose for no reason the other day but I think it was maybe from cold weather. It was during one of the days I fasted. And then I thought, maybe it's the blood-thinning garlic, onions, leeks and things I'm eating. But it started after the huge bump appeared on my head, proving there had been some kind of severe damage.

That's the United States folks. I mean, HOW DO OUR LEADERS EVEN ANSWER TO THIS??? I guess they don't care, because like I said, we have religious and spiteful interests running this country.

So I documented that stabbing repeated pain from technology directed to the same spot on my head and then the kind of bump that appeared later at what time and my brother could probably confirm the same though he would lie now to avoid being thrown into jail on false arrest like me or into a psych ward and injected with Haldol like me. And then after this, I have publicly documented there has been a disturbance of my periods and bleeding inbetween periods, after this occured. So my guess is that any neurologist could take a guess as to what part of my brain was targeted and how it's now affecting my body and the things that that part of my brain regulated.

And they've done some dirty negotiating with other corrupt people in other countries too.

No decently run, well-ordered country does this or allows this kind of religious hate crime and defamation for reasons to FACILITATE hate crimes.

"That's how they work. They use you and then they dump you off."

More happened with my parents today. I'm just keeping more of it to myself and getting a manual typewriter. And what. Some kind of micro-compact for keeping a concealed manuscript away from others until it's printed.