Wedding & A Funeral

The last few days have been a little bit better torture-wise. But they are still doing things. My parents left to go to a wedding for my cousin.

I wasn't even invited and my son was there. No one in my own family even told me he had been adopted from me. I know the only reason they even have him is because they're blackmailed into doing whatever the Catholics in mafia and government want them to do. It's the truth. I tend to always forgive and try to think of my family in the best light, but some of the things they've done have been against me. While I know they have been blackmailed and tortured, maybe a little, they allowed this to happen to my son and didn't speak up to defend him--didn't stand up to police and FBI that were corrupt, CPS workers, nothing.

My son has been kidnapped from me. And many of us have been tortured.

When they left, on Friday, for some reason there was a little less torture. I sensed something wasn't okay over there at that church and wedding. Most likely what I picked up on was Mexican mafia pretending to be religious (or vice versa) and military. During the ceremony I think it was fine, but not the whole time. Someone or some people there were bad. Very, very, bad.

Then I saw one photo of my son and he's not happy and he's skinnier than I've ever seen him. He is very underweight. I know my son too, and he doesn't like to eat by himself. Eating with his mother was a highlight for him. He's never had anyone pay so much attention and give as much love as me.

One time my cousin Ivory told me Oliver didn't want dinner or a snack and I said, what was it and she told me. This was just 1 1/2 years ago. I told her, "He didn't eat it because he doesn't like that. Did you offer him something else since he wasn't in the mood for that? and were you sitting with him?"

No, she didn't offer him something else. And no, she thought he was fine sitting by himself and eating alone.

Every meal we had we shared together. I never sat him at the table and then turned my back to do dishes or clean. I didn't give him a snack and then walk away to do something else. We sat down and ate together and laughed and talked (as much as he could he did). He didn't eat as well if I was not also eating. He ate with me socially as much as for nourishment and if I was eating, he wanted to eat. If I wasn't, he might still eat, but not as much. He wanted to do whatever I was doing and never did one wrong thing because love is stronger. You can spend hardly any time with your kid and then expect there to be a bond of love where they want to obey you, and then punish them when they try out something else, or you can have an intimate bond with your child where you get out of the investment twice as much as you put in. I never had to think about discipline because he loved me too much to do anything that disappointed me. My son trusted me thoroughly and knew I was a good person all the way through, and treated him that way, and with respect, so that's how he was turning out, and so happy, everyone asked me all the time why is he SO happy?

He's not happy anymore. And to wipe the smiles off of the people that did this to my son, I'll let you stall and eventually get what I want, and you had better had a new name and address when I come after you with a supoena.

What Canada got from taking my car from me with a Catholic group buying out the tow company to get to my car and the contents...was a photo strip like from Karate Kid except it's me and my son and says "Best Friends" because they had nothing for parents and I'm more fun than most parents so I guess they don't think parents will do this with their kids and be silly and have fun. My son was only 1 year old and when I said, "Okay, make a happy face!" he did and I said, "Okay, now make a surprised face!" and he did. Every single shot was unique and my son got as goofy as I did and knew what our objective was.

There is no broken bond.

So I'll say it again for those who think they got away with something:

There is NO BROKEN BOND.

It's been torn apart, and my son has changed for the worse and been traumatized and now carries sadness with him because of the United States of America.

THAT is what THIS country did to an innocent boy. They tortured him to the point where we almost died, and allowed religious hate crime to run wild, and then they lied about and defamed me and literally, truly, kidnapped him and then tried to make everything look legal.

Guess which department of federal government is obstructing my ability to get back to college so I even have any money for living costs for postage or anything? Actually, all of them have done some bad things. There is at least one more private lender I will not use in the future. It's federal loans but there are still different lenders and how I'm treated now is going to be remembered for the future.

But supposedly, today I narrowed it down to the Catholic-dominated one. And they are federal government-run too. It's part of the U.S. Department of Education but the offices for this group are in Chicago, Illinois. Chicago has a TON of Catholics so it's my guess the percentage is high there in their offices and that someone knew someone. Whoever they were, they knew people who were a part of Realtors Association here in Oregon. The same day they sent out their site with a new little "update" with a red flag and some inside comment that I caught, I checked my Federal Aid For Students site and someone had just put a new little red flag onto my account, matching the one for Realtors' Association.

And then today, I found out that even if a mistake had been made, on their part, they never should have put that flag up at all and never should have marked my account with default status. Instead, they were supposed to let someone know THEY got their numbers wrong after they confirmed the numbers were correct. So if they had wanted someone to make up the difference, they weren't supposed to penalize me and get into my account and try to mess with me. They were supposed to contact the other agency and let someone know.

So they knew there was a problem OVER 1 month ago. And they tried to stall and hide it until December 1st when they decided that now my son was adopted away from me on the 19th, maybe they'd better put in a post acknowledging they took money. So now they're saying it will be processed but they're trying to drag it past the timeline for when financial aid is issued, and they've been keeping an eye on that date.

These people are all criminals. They have people in all kinds of government agencies, screwing around with things to try to obstruct justice any possible way they can.

They have done this deliberately and it was not an accident and it didn't happen to "millions" of other people too.

Not only that, for months they've blocked me from even talking to a representative there to find out what was going on. Every single time I called DCS they told me they refused to talk to me unless I changed my Maryland address that I had with my Ex-fiance. I said I don't want to change it because I'm going to need that for legal reasons. And at some point I said I could give an alternate address that was current but I still wanted the older one on there.

So for about 2 months, the U.S. federal agency with offices in D.C. and Chicago worked together with people in Oregon and Washington to screw me and my son over. And the entire time they refused to let me talk to a customer service person from DCS, on my own account regarding my own money.

Why?

Because they were deliberately abusing even customer service positions to obstruct justice. And they work for the federal government and get the same monies from the same source politicians get their money. The entire time someone in those offices was trying to protect my EX from Maryland and they weren't allowing me to talk to anyone unless I got rid of the evidence of that address.

So this is the kind of religious hate crime I have to deal with, on top of torture which they can't relate to.

I sensed good energy from somewhere while my parents traveled but here and there. And today there was decent energy from somewhere and while my parents went to a funeral, until I called up one of their cell phones and then it was gone. I mean at some point after that.

I had one impression in the last several days and I think it was before my parents left for Wenatchee but maybe it was after they already left.

It wasn't my time, in the world. So I know it was either a movie someone was watching or a scene I saw somewhere else in the world, because it was dark here and it was daylight there. And there was snow there and there is none here, at least not where I'm at. It was just one woman by herself and kneeling in the snow and she had blond hair pulled back into a ponytail at the nape of the neck. Long medium blond straight hair and a hat over it, on top of her head. Her ponytail went to the middle of her back. Her outer layers of coat and hat were tan or with gold or pale yellow threads woven in or beige or a color of wheat. She was pretty and I think she put her arms over her head, like prostrating in the snow but then I thought, maybe she is laying flowers on a grave. I saw her extremely clear and I was fully awake and not dreaming and thought, "where is this? it's dark here and it's dark where my Mom and Dad are even so it must be another country." Anyway, lots of snow covering everything and sunlight and she was kneeling in the snow in an old-fashioned sort of smart tailored coat that was 3/4 length. After I thought, who is this and where is this, I sort of got distracted. I hadn't seen any movie like this or been online either. So the second part I thought maybe it's my imagination but I thought maybe she had a skirt on, longer skirt, beneath the coat, but I thought it might be my imagination that I saw her stand up, brush snow off with the palms of her hands, briskly, down the thigh and away just light and quick as she stood.

For whatever reason, I thought why would anyone pray in the snow so I thought she must have been at a cemetary.

And then there was a wedding & I didn't even know, that a funeral followed (I mean, the wedding of my cousin and then tonight, one day after their return, a funeral of some friend.) But I saw this woman clearly so I thought maybe someone is watching a movie with her in it but also thought maybe I saw someone on the other side of the world. It wasn't that late for me because the last few days I've gone to sleep earlier than I had been, so I think it was between 9-12 p.m. my time. Probably around 10-11. I think this because while I saw this I thought, it can't be here because it's dark and I THINK it crossed my mind and I might have counted hours to wonder if it was England or someplace but if so, I figured that would make it so early in the morning, so I thought, maybe more like a country with a 12 hour time difference. But I don't know for sure, and it could have been Europe maybe though I think I thought it might be dark still, and for all I know, I caught a glimpse of what someone watched in a movie. She was in her 20s or 30s I think. She was slender and I don't know about height. I saw her from a distance like I was standing several feet away but I saw her up close and further away and up close again and I saw movement. She was kneeling and then stretched arms up and across her knees but didn't put them down pressed into the snow. She wasn't bent all the way over with her face down and arms in the snow, but she did prostrate from waist while on her knees in a sense and I wasn't sure why. And I saw her to an angle, more of a side. but sort of a 3/4 side. From my field of vision, she was stretching out and facing to, well, if you at a laptop screen and had to draw the person on the screen I would be drawing her facing the left. That was the side I saw.

So anyway. How about those _____________ (name football team).

The thing is, since I wasn't thinking of anything remotely close to what I saw and I wasn't praying or anything, I feel like it was just a random thing or maybe someone is a strong sender. I didn't have a bad feeling from it at all but i am skeptical bc just bc you have talent somewhere, like I've said, you don't always know if it's good people or bad, or if they are responsible for your present torture or not, and that sort of thing. So it was just random. I was reading a little and setting my books aside and in that moment of doing this it came to my vision or whatever. Minds eye. SO I was fully awake and not dreaming, and moving around too, and not lying there, and it temporarily took over my natural sight and I saw 2 things at the same time. My actual present surroundings and then this second sight layered over for a moment, like a vision and covered the field. I think it's easier to explain it to people normal like me (for the most part) as being like a vivid recollection or a vivid memory that you can even see right before you. It's the exact same thing pretty much, except it's not a memory of mine and I think it was real-time, not a premonition.

I thought about my twins the other night, after responding to someone who made a post and asked if contrast was used in the MRI or not and I said no. I then wrote that I had known the moment of conception as well as the moment of death and I thought about it and realized, maybe in that case it was some kind of 'premonition" or foresight because how did I "know" in that instant, if science says that the sperm doesn't reach the egg for hours, even days? I "knew" without any shadow of doubt and never had that happen before. But I knew right then and there. And, when they died, I knew the moment they died, because I was lying there and trying to pray and got a bad feeling but tried to pray anyway. And then I knew they'd died and tears streamed down my face. I started crying because I knew their moment of death and I knew it was the MRI that did it. So I wanted to see my unborn child because I was connected to him (and I guess the other one but it's harder to understand when it's a twin in your ovary but if I'd seen I'd have understood). My SON, Oliver, I LOVE more than anyone in the world and even while pregnant that was the case. No one replaces Oliver! But with these twins, I knew it was something special because of knowing the exact moments of their lives and maybe even thoughts in a way, before they were ever born. Before they were conceived, I knew them and at the moment of death I knew they'd died and was sad. With the father, I always knew when he was looking at me and wasn't sure why, but I just did, even when I shouldn't know, I knew, but I never thought I read anyone's mind. I wasn't trying to get pregnant either. I just knew for a fact that there was a baby when there was, before it was scientifically possible. And I saw him with my own eyes and nothing was wrong with him. He was very well developed for so tiny and I could see all the formation was there and every small trait to even seeing he looked exactly like the father, in the face. There was nothing grotesque bc he was a full miniature baby and the only part that bothered me was that there was evidence that the MRI or meds they gave me to help it along, affected the baby. Some group tortured me in D.C. and my unborn baby too, when I lived on the 7th floor in Arlington, VA. It was technology torture.

So let's see. The U.S. kills unborn kids AND tortures living ones and their mothers.

All in the name of good old American Pride.

I want my son back. And someone should be making that happen, sans court. It's not a court case. It's a criminal case. You don't have a appeal or court case for something like what has been done to me and my son. You investigate crime, acknowlege it happened, and return the kid.

He's my son.

And I also don't appreciate how this country had used military means to prevent me from having other children, even for another family, by torturing me to make it impossible. I am not interested in selling my own eggs or genetic material or in creating a child for someone else with my genetic material. But I know that I can carry a child for someone else and have excellent knowledge of prenatal care from every aspect. And this was something I've looked into twice and I've been forced out of it twice, by U.S. military. First in TN, I looked into it and I was tortured instead, worse than ever after I checked out a fertility clinic, and then when I was in Coquille and things were safe and quiet for a month or so. Both times, I had sincere families interested in me and it was potential and instead, I was repeatedly BLOCKED from pursuing my liberties and rights to do what I want with my body within the law, by the military

So let's see:

1. they tortured my son Oliver,
2. they tortured and killed my twins,
3. they repeatedly tortured me after I was looking into being a surrogate (2-3x).

Do you know when they quit torturing me when I was in Wenatchee? After a Mormon guy said he'd help me get into my federal housing again if I paid him $4,000, which was how much reimbursement was in Seattle for my donor eggs, which someone wanted badly. The military literally quit torturing me, just to wait and see if I would give their friends my eggs. So they didn't want to ruin my body by doing crap to me so they quit.

As long as it's MY eggs and MY genetic material, going out to someone or some "group" that never has to see my face, the U.S. military and federal government have had no problem putting a stop to torture of me.

Which is actually incredible. It's sounding like we live in a country that's no longer The United States.

Get this, they also used coercion, by forcing me out of federal housing I shouldn't have been forced out of and then the deal was that I can't get a roof over my head unless I am willing to pay a lawyer for getting back into my housing, but only after I give up my eggs under pressure in a very not-fair trade.

So for the Woman Whose Eggs Were Stolen, I sympathize.

As long as someone is getting their own grubby hands on ME, MY BODY, or on MY genetic material or eggs, the U.S. religious hate crime groups stop torturing me. If I have sex with their Catholic man, they won't torture me. If I marry their Catholic man they won't torture me. If it looks like I'm going to donate eggs so they can use my genes, they won't torture me.

However, if I want to be a surrogate and let someone else have their own genetically created baby and make MONEY for myself as compensation for my time, the U.S. religious hate crime people have a problem with my getting any money at all. So they torture me. If they weren't torturing me before, they are going to start it up to keep me from making any money or having any money or compensation for being an incredible surrogate who is disciplined enough to do whatever they ask and has some self-knowledge too.

So, if I want to be a surrogate and make money I get tortured to keep me out.
If I want to work, I get tortured or defamed to try to keep me out of money and after being defamed the only people who will touch me are my enemies who already knew there was nothing wrong with me so they just want to use me, or the military or some other group that thinks now they can get me to work for them cheap.
If I want to go to college, I get tortured and obstructed.

My own son was tortured and taken illegally from me.

The only time this country has allowed me to exercise any liberties and rights, since religious hate crime has taken over, is if their Catholic men are getting something out of me or their men and women are trying to take my eggs or genetic material for themselves.

They have done everything in their power, not for research or public interest but to

KEEP ME OUT OF MONEY.

And I don't call getting USED at min. wage or being forced to work with abusive people for this, "work". It's forced labor, abuse, and cruel and degrading treatment.

Not only have the hate crime people tried to keep me out of money and blocked my access to courts to keep my good name (for making money) and blocked my business and ability to have business, they've tried to ruin my brain as well. And they destroyed my singing voice.

So anytime Michelle or Obama want to explain why this kind of thing is going on in their own country, they shouldn't be looking to Biden or any of the other Catholics for answers. This entire country is "occupied". Which is why the Pope didn't mind the occupation idea of Wall Street. He has his people occupying the entire nation.

Do they love the unborn and kids or what?