Wednesday, December 21, 2011

My Parents (small couple of things about "god, country, family")

Will just write a couple of small things.

The other day, not yesterday but day before I went into the house and one foot was killing me--a bunion on one side that was gone when I fasted and came back afterwards.

I didn't say anything about it. Also, I had 2 pr. socks on making my shoes fit tighter. So I walked in and my Dad had one sock on and one sock off and then raised his foot and touched it and then put it down and took the other sock off.

I ended up doing the same thing. I always take my shoes off but I wanted my Mom to see the swelling so I took my first layer of socks off and then just one and pressed at the bunion and then realized, that's why my Dad had one sock on and one sock off before I came in.

It wasn't "suggestion"...I would have done it anyway.
Then, tonight, my Dad got to the house and walked in the door and there was this folded up piece of white paper kind of a clump in a shape on the floor. He looked at it and I noticed. I knew he or my Mom put it there but I didn't know why.

So I forgot all about it and decided tonight to make a spicy coconut mushroom soup. I had bought a fresh coconut and later that evening (this evening actually) I had to break it. I got a knife and punctured it and then took it to my parents to ask for a hammer. At the end of the night, I went outside and made a few blows to it and it wouldn't crack and finally there was a hole at the top and a crack on the side but it didn't split open.

I don't know why I knew this next thing, I mean, I don't know how I knew it was their "placement" of things, but my Mom said I could take my laundry. On one side one thing and on the other side other things, my things which I grabbed. But two different stacks of a certain height.

I went back to my place, set things down and then was standing over the laptop trying to pry apart my coconut. It finally split and the right side fell on top of the keyboard. And I noticed the two sides and the height of how they split and it matched the towel stack heights, corresponding to where I had just been. And then while taking out the meat, a piece fell on the floor and I looked to find it and saw it matched the color, size, and shape of the piece of paper or whatever in the entry that I had seen earlier. Even where it was placed on the floor in the hallway, was the same location that this piece of coconut fell when it popped out of a shell where I was prying open the meat. And that was placed a few hours before I even thought, "I guess I'll crack that cononut and make soup." I had no prior plans in my own mind to do so.

Also, they've not been in my place and I've been here, and I walked in tonight and there was a tupperware the exact same size and shape of mine, filled with gravy to a certain level, exactly matching my tupperware which was identical and sitting out on the counter too, and filled to the same level with a brown substance: refried beans.

I will document privately but right now I've been too tired, since I broke my fast and my head was targeted by military. Or the airborne drugs or whatever. I have been tired and slower.

I miss my creativity. I miss myself and my creativity and ability to write poems.

I don't want to be like everyone else or what some think I should be. I feel like one of those military-CIA kids who wasn't given a choice, like Cheryl or whatever. They get put onto a path or "program" no child would ever choose for themselves. I mean, what do they do? They get used and put into a program or taken out of one or based on what a group of adults think, they are trained one way or the other, through incredibly traumatizing means, so one can be "an assassin" and the other can be "a terrorist hunter". I mean, they weren't given a choice. They never knew democracy or freedom. They were the U.S.A commie kids, the same ones the U.S. says are so sad and badly treated because they have their careers chosen for them.

I think some group has the power to return my son. And I hope they do.

I am not in a position at this time to "whip up" a complaint in 2 weeks. I'm being tortured, assaulted every single day by people local but mainly military. And then on top of that, I've been given countless drugs and medications without my consent.

I don't even have my own personality anymore, or sense of humor, or creative writing. I don't have my drive or strong will. I feel like I was given tranquilizers or meds to keep me subdued and not caring enough to spring to action.

And I have federal employees deliberately stalling and preventing me from consolidating my loans and getting into college.

This is like when the federal workers stalled on giving me my passport and created multiple delays until they were assured I had no money to leave with anyway and then they gave it to me. Knowing I couldn't go anywhere if I wanted to.

Now, it's stalling on processing of my loans so I can get back into college or have money for living costs. They know they are also blocking my ability to have money to file documents in court with, to get my son and prove crime was the reason he was taken from me.

This country has committed human trafficking and abduction, against me and my son, after all we had already been through and after our torture--which still continues.

I have people thinking they broke the bond or praying and hoping that happens. They hope I will just give up. As if, I don't see him and even if I write to him, my letters are not read...that we forget eachother and don't care.

After the U.S. military targeted my head and my brother's head, and made us a laughingstock to the world, I mean, made us laughingstock to our enemies and then trashed the reputation of this country to anyone who is sincere enough to care... mother told me a "friend" (one of her friends she knows from Stockholm--those ones) gave her a tip and suggested I go on Disablity and how I could get $700 a month to be called permanently crazy.

Boy, what a deal.

The same United States that tortures me and my son and allowed religious hate crime, will PAY me to keep the cover up for criminals. I could have yet another so-called evaluation that isn't worth the cost of the ink for printing a label, and get paid to be tortured and discredited at the same time.

How kind of her to think of this after I developed a huge swelling on my head after I was targeted by military repeatedly, over and over and over. I hadn't blogged about that bump that showed up .

But what wonderful timing she had! How fortuitous she might have had "permanent disability" come to mind, within days of the appearance of damage from only ONE form of assault that is done to me. They have been torturing me every day I've been here, weekends included.

So let's see, for 8 hours a day of torture, 30 days a month, that's $2.90 per hour, and if we just average it out to being tortured most of the day and also at night, that makes the payments to torture me and discredit me...97 cents.

HEY GUYS! Instead of being tortured and not being compensated, now they want to compensate me...guess how much? 97 cents for each hour of being tortured by military technology. That includes the compensation for being drugged without my consent too.

Think. Just think. I could buy a few taffy's to chew on, for each hour I'm tortured. I might even be able to buy a WHOLE CANDY BAR.

I could buy a WHOLE CANDY BAR for each hour I'm tortured and save them up and send them to my son.

Hey, I wonder what people in other country's think about that. Just think, you really don't have to be water-boarded for nothing here in the U.S. Here, they destroy some of the best citizens after they use them and dump them, and then they torture you on your own soil, but never fear. Someone will come along to steal your children for you so you don't have to worry about that and then they'll PAY you NINETY-SEVEN CENTS for a WHOLE HOUR of torture!!! and they get to call you crazy when you're not and they know it.

I just think the timing was the best part.

I get blasted on the head, which is, by the way, nothing new, but this time they deliberately focused on this and made a mockery of me and my brother. Then I get someone encouraging my Mom to suggest "permanent disability."

And then, I hear all these crappy messages on radio, even christian radio, admonishing and preaching that it's "faith" first and then "country" and then "family" and strong emphasis on family last.

Nice. Well you CIA and military recruits can give up your own families. If you really believe it's God first, and then country, and if you would put your own children in harm's way, then do me a favor and your kids a favor and don't have kids. And since there are so many enthusiastic military and CIA and FBI persons who think they need more kids so they steal them from their mothers, after covering for religious hate crime, why don't they pull kids from their own pool?

Did anyone in The Pentagon put up their kid for sale instead of mine?

There are people who firmly believe in God first, then country, then family.

That's not me. I don't believe that. I have made outstanding exceptions in this regard, but I have never agreed with "missionaries" who, for example, feel "called" to witness in another country but they have kids and just put those kids in boarding schools. If you have children, you give up your right to autonomy and should be putting their needs ahead of your own desires, patriotic or not. There are people who disagree and I think there is a place for those who put country ahead and short-change their own kids. But there is value to those who create national security by raising secure and healthy children and no one has a right to tell ME what to do with my own son. Or to dictate to me how the government or someone else covets him for themselves. It's not like I've been forced to do charity work with my son or community service either. I had a child and I remain devoted to his cause and my heart is with him and that responsibility is not something I have ever given up. I did not give my son up for adoption. We were tortured and he was stolen from me. If you have family, you have a responsibility to look out for their needs, not to sacrifice them as human sacrifices for the government.

When the Israelites offered their own children up to be human sacrifices, they were punished.

You do not have the right to make decisions for others, and have no right to steal, sell, train or torture anyone against their will, thinking you are doing your "country" or yourself or "God" a favor. If you want to get biblical, I can start pulling out, match for match, all the scriptures against doing this to your own children or to the children of others, who are not yours.

"Do not covet".

Remember that one?

You want a kid for your "program" and covet a child that is not your own.

Those who will not put their family as priority, should not have family and should not be stealing the kids from others and preaching down to them (or trying). And those who have children should do their best to treat their children like Jesus Christ Himself.

Jesus just loves hanging on a cross in the form of a child. For "country". Here, Oliver, you know the Bible says to treat others like Christ Himself, as well as if you were entertaining angels or God Himself and we thought you might like to have your face punched in. Jesus, let me see your fingers so we can cut them. Hey JESUS--ya ever been HYPnoTIZED?

Jesus! I didn't put your shoes on backwards. YOU DID IT! Jesus, YOU did it! (to Mary) "Jesus did it to himself". (Anne Crane/Crain then twists her little painted wood saints bracelet around her wrist, so she can remember the saints who are as dead as her own faith).

The same "Catholics" that claim so much to love Jesus and Mary and some of these Protestants and Mormons and Jews even, later, all liars and betrayers of children. Betrayers of Jesus and of God and the Holy Spirit. Twisting the scriptures to make them fit nationalistic ideas as a cover for their own iniation of religious hate crimes done out of jealousy.

Thou Shalt Not Covet. Thou Shalt Not Steal. Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness. Thou Shalt Treat Thy Neighbor as Thyself.

Oh. Forgot. Anne wears her shoes on the wrong feet too. And she cuts herself and just the other day she felt like she should throw up for a good show so she drank the same poisons that were given to my son.

For one commandment you might claim I've broken, how many are you guilty of breaking? You're hypocrites.

Return my son.

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