Mom Wants Healing Room (Feb. 23, 200*)

My mother and her religion. She doesn't think testing for radiation is a good idea, but she does think I need to go to a "Healing Room". She also makes an argument I've changed, and while I have in some ways, I like myself better NOW than when I was pretending to be what everyone else wanted me to be. As for Mark B., I have no idea why he would say such things to my mother. I get to the bottom of this email and just think, "she is totally clueless." you can't argue or reason with a religious nut, they don't listen to reason, it's all about what they "feel" and "faith". I was wrong about it being radiation in radiowaves, but the magnetic pulse fits every single thing that happened:

RE: ‏
From: cam huegenot (cameocares@live.com)
Sent: Sat 2/23/08 10:04 AM
To: dicksiedael@aol.com
I'm not going on medication. There is nothing wrong with me. What I have suffered from and changed because of is PTSD, after years of being harassed, lied about, defamed, and stalked. THAT is enough to cause some changes. ANd yes, I did get radiation. Read my blog entry, which I added last night. All those symptoms are symptoms of radiation. PERIOD. I don't have any other medical condition and "stress" doesn't cause body tissue to come out of your body. It wasn't discharge, it was body tissue.

I feel I don't have your support at all. You're telling me now, after all the time I spent writing, to throw myself to a court appointed attorney. You're also saying you won't pay for testing until it's "cheap". In that case, if I don't have your support, I will not participate in any of the court proceedings and Holly can keep him until I am making enough money to pay for the testing myself, and if I have to have a tooth pulled to prove it, that's what I'll do.

At this point, I have lost hope in your ability to help me at all. I am not going to be framed into a mental health diagnosis for something I don't have, and told to take medication and that I'm wrong about everything that's been happening to me.

All I have asked for, is help with radiation testing. If you can't help me with that, you can't help me or Oliver at all. They will diasnose me as schitzophrenic and I will lose Oliver forever.

Maybe 2 years from now, if I have enough moeny, I can finally get the testing done to prove what I'm saying, and sue in court for damages and get him back. Until then, it seems I'm on my own.

I am wiling to "cooperate" fully but not until I have testing. If you won't help me find someone and get it done right away, and pay for it, I'll do it myself and drop out until it's done.

I am dead serious.

Cameo


To: cameocares@live.com
Subject:
Date: Sat, 23 Feb 2008 11:07:06 -0500
From: dicksiedael@aol.com

Hey, I just want to say I'm sorry if I maybe overreacted some in my last note. I stand by the things I said, but when I read your last one, I sort of thought you were back to demanding, etc. I've reread it, and think I may have misintrepreted your intent. Thing is, though, that you do need to stop and rethink. You can not keep dragging this out; the clock IS ticking and by very virtue of waiting too long, you could lose out. On the radiation...Cameo, I believe you that you had severe pain. I believe YOU believe it was radiation, but it just does NOT make any sense. Now you're saying it was going on even in Tigard. So what about when you lived, for quite a while, with Granny/Grandpa? They sure didn't 'get' any. No, if there really were people trying to do that to you ALLLLL this time,.....well, they wouldn't, period. It would be far to labor intensive and costly. They would just kill you or whatever. And even if you prove radiation; nobody will believe it's the Catholics. It also doesn't excuse the way you treat people when they disagree with you. You will still be seen to have 'problems'. The radiation may prove you were in pain, but it doesn't do away with all the other; it's not the magic bullet you think it is and Mark Belanger agreed, so I know it's not just me. I do know of a cps guy down here that I'll try to talk with on Monday. He's a friend of a friend of mine and I think he's sort of 'high up'. I'll talk with him just to get a sense of some things, though this is Oregon, not WA. Thing is, though, you need to get an attorney now. Take the court appointed and see what you think of him/her. Even the court appt'd one can arrange your visitation. You need to be respectful to the cps people, even if you don't like them. For one thing, you have no guarantees how this will turn out; you need to have them willing to work with you if you do not get Oliver back right away. If that happens, they will put him up for adoption if you are fighting them, but they will wait if for instance you are on medication or you are getting counseling, or whatever. I think there IS 'something' wrong, and I've told you that before. It's not because I want you to feel bad or to lose hope, but because I want to see you get help. Do you remember a note Dad once wrote you when he said "I just want my daughter back"? I think you got upset at that and wondered what he meant. Well it's because you are not the person you once were. And I don't mean just changes that come with aging and maturity or even a belief system change like if you'd just quit believing in God. Do you even remember the girl who wrote in comments on the Willamette Week article? Amy or sarah or something? She said you'd changed, let go, they wanted back the Cameo they loved and knew. Everyone respected you even if they didn't agree with you in the past; before the 'catholic' thing. I think the stress of that situation maybe triggered something in you. I don't know what it was or what the problem is, it could be physical like chemicals in brain, it could be spiritual, it could be just emotional, or just something you 'let loose' and that has gotten out of control. I DO think it can be changed, but you have to be able to see or at least be open to fact that you might NEED help. ALL of your family sees this; they know you now, they knew you then. Doctors, police, judges, attorneys...they might not have known you then, but none of them thinks the person they see now is acting rationally. By not rational, it doesn't just mean the Catholics and the radiation and what could be called "paranoia"....it also means the ability to listen, to not explode, to just get along with those that disagree...to even still respect or even love (friends/family) those that disagree. Anyhow, I know you must be frustrated and I would assume you are scared...scared of losing Oliver and maybe scared of what the mental eval. will say. But we would get a GOOD, and impartial doctor for that eval. I think after talking with M.Belanger that we should take a court appt'd guy at least to start. It IS 'free' and we'll still have those other costs. We can see what we think of him, and we do have the right to demand certain things; we CAN always change...but at least we can get him now and start visitation, etc. even HE has to work with you on that. I do think you might want to REthink being so far away. Not to move to Wenatchee, but somewhere closer...no idea where...Ellensburg? Yakima? Even the Seattle area is closer, though expensive...maybe somewhere else. Or maybe familiar territory...Spokane, Moses Lake? I don't know....but closer. Did you by ANY chance watch that show I mentioned last night? God IS doing miracles and they are becoming more commonplace; I think maybe he's getting ready for some sort of revival in coming months or years. God can help. Trust in HIM if you dont trust any of the rest of us. But if you're going to do that, read and live his word...the part that talks about taming the tongue, being humble and not proud, fruits of the spirit. I know I'm not a good example, but especially lately, I've been working on that. I just want to be close to Him and able to hear and follow his leading. I want that for Dad and Levi and You, too. Again, too, if you DO have something 'wrong' that can be 'healed'....try checking out the Healing Rooms in Bellingham while yu are there. Even for physical pains or migrains; it certainly can't hurt.
Okay, I've gotta go. Whatever you do, I will love you. But that doesn't mean we will pay for whatever you want. If it was just a matter of 'throwing $30,000 at this and knowing that if we did YOU would be FINE, your problems would be over, and Oliver would be back with you", we would do it; even if it did mean mortgaging the house. I think the problem here is deeper than that. I don't think money alone is any guarantee or even the answer. I have been praying for you and yes, fasting for you, for months now. Every Thursday. And think what you will...it's NOT to lose weight! I pray and fast because I care. It seems like while I have, things have gone from bad to worse. But we can't know God's BIG plan. Maybe even this is to show you that you need to stop, listen, get help? I'm not saying it is, I'm just saying that I know I've been praying and because of that, I have confidence that God is in control. When Joseph was sold into slavery, it would have been hard to think of that being allowed by God, but "Man meant it for evil, but God meant it for Good". Not saying at all lthat this is a good thing, just that God can turn it into that. Love, Mom