music today and other thoughts

I may as well write about some of the music I'm enjoying since I have to put up all these emails online today. after i've put my evidence up i'll quit writing, but i'm getting this stuff online so i can point it out when needed:

Songs I've liked from lastfm.com's Lenny Kravitz radio have been: stereophonics "Maybe", and stuff by Skunk Anansi including "charlie big potato" (like a lot) and "hedonist". also like kravitz of course. like stone temple pilots "interstate love song" but it's sad.

how funny. skunk anansie is another english band. i guess i have a thing for the english bands. or european bands, i don't know. now i'm hearing U2 and like them so much.

wow. this is a powerful song. robbie williams "advertising space". interesting lyrics. lounge fly by stone temple pilots is interresting lyrically too, and the end where it switches up with just the guitar. but sort of dark.

foo fighters, "stranger things have happened"...very good song. wow. sort of a heartbreaker song. heard the cardigans too and liked her. all this stuff is dark though. it's good and the lyrics are great, but i may have to switch it up after awhile.

this being christmas and all, you know, and i don't have my son with me, and i know my family has only harmed me and betrayed and backed out over matters so important to me...oh, and i've a tomb for a womb. i was wondering if i was going to have my own special delivery present today, but no, i guess it will be something to cherish for the new year.

anyway, i'm clinically detached from it now, and fine, really, just being sarcastic in terrible bad taste, but remembering all the effort i had to put into getting basic family support makes me sick to the stomach. everything could have been avoided, but they didn't care, bc they were fine having holly raise my son if i didn't bend to their iron will on everything. they WONDER why i have issues. i have to deal with fuckers like that for family. not anymore, which is why i've said i'm done, after all i've been through because of them

really like goo goo dolls, "iris". a little more upbeat too, in a weird way. like billy idol, "eyes without a face". i liked the last one too but too pissed, remembering what my parents have done, to notice it. like "mystify"--have always liked INXS. oooh, i like this one a lot. this is a sweet song, "born to be my baby", by bon jovi. like "any other day" too. now it's stereophonics "dakota" and i like how it starts out. tinky, tinky, sounds. lol. how else do i describe it? tink, tink, tink, tink. like "the best thing" by savage garden cause it's uptempo and not dark. i like dark sometimes, but not really right now. i guess savage garden is australian...huh. and yet ya can understand 'em! i liked the other garden song but not paying attention until texas, "so in love with you". i like this song. i guess i need to hear stroke me songs right now. i like this one. like "secretly" by skunk anansie--wow, nice voice here. it starts out as the moonboots song and i see someone walking on the moon in slow gravition-free motion and then it goes to ethereal star and planet sounds...kind of a weird way to describe, but that's what i see in my mind's eye when i hear this song. hmmm...now about the ending where its the angry voice? comets falling to the earth? lol. someone is hurling something and things are breaking, hair is being pulled...

i like this incubus song "echo"...sort of electronica-melodic-pop. it's another spaceship song. I like this oldie goodie one "you make me feel brand new" by simply red. in this one, i see everybody skating around the roller skating ring with the disco globe above and everyone is skating to the "couples" skate and has an 80s or 70s hairstyle. someone might even be snapping their fingers to the tambourine beat. don't like this song by creed "ode"...dark and depressing.

"ozone mama" by the black crowes...very good. i'm sort of in a bon jovi mood. like this "bad medicine". wow. creative lyrics too...nice.

listening to lastfm.com's "alison krause radio". pretty good. just got emmylou harris' "wrecking ball"...love that song. now "you're the lucky one" by alison. this is really really good...Nickel Creek, "Spit on a Stranger". Very unique lyrically.

like this by robert plant and alison krause, "please read my letter". and the one before, but don't remember who did it, something about if i were in the movies, and hollywood or something. this is very energetic and good...the piano playing is the style of playing my dad did when I was growing up, sort of jazz/blues. i don't know, what genre is it? alison and the cox family, "walk over god's heaven". Liked this last one, "I've been thinking about you". trisha yearwood? this one makes me cry...it's an instrumental so far...who knows how long i've loved you/...will i wait a lonely lifetime, if you want me to, i will.../love me forever and forever, love you with all of my heart, love you whenever we're together, love you when we're apart/and when at last i find you, you're song will fill the air...the things you do endure you to me..how you know i will, i will...(alison krause is on this one)...oh, SO like this one! never heard it before! Dixie Chicks "Lullaby"...HOooow loooong do you wanna be loved? is forever enough? cause i'm never,never givin' you up..." this last one i could totally sing to...gillian welsh on "wayside/back in time". i would like to sing this one sometime. the stanley brothers, "angel band" i really like too. this one i like too...very lusty. have a drink and get a room song, by alison krause and union station "take me for longing". really like this shawn colvin song too, "I Don't Know Why". lol. awesome. "They're not trying to cause you pain, they're just afraid of loving you..." ( lyrics from this song. right on). this one is fun too. i like singing along to this one but i'd have to change the color of hair and eyes of the woman addressed if i were to sing it, "jolene" by dolly parton. it's a foot tapping type of song. i like the bonnie raitt song "gnawin' on it". sort of made me laugh. like "breathe" too...fun one to sing. this one is very pretty allison moorer's "mark my word". i'd like singing that one too, it's sad but reassuring in its own way. hahahaa. i like this next one: alison krauss and the cox family, "everybody wants to go to heaven". wow. new favorite: chris thile, "on ice". really, really, really, really, like it. makes me want to fall in love or be in love. good. a sheryl crow song--"soak up the sun". i needed to hear this after refreshing my memory to all of this CPS crap. they totally and completely were out of bonds. I have total grounds for a civil rights lawsuit against them. i am still considering this. what they did is absolutely inexcusable and they got away with very severe violations of rules, policy, and procedure. the fucking FBI knows what that means. they have people going forward to do some whistleblowing, but meanwhile, after i put up all my evidence, what is being done for ME and MY SON?

i deserve to have this whole thing thrown out. at the very least, i'm entitled to new trial in a different area, as I requested many times. they withheld evidence that was crucial to the defense, and kept my own case file from me. like "on the road again" sort of a ramblin' hillbilly bar song. i'm not sure what kind of travel this refers to...i don't know if i should be picturing a man on a horse with a banjo, on a bike with a bandana, or on an old bumpy vw van. or truck? i guess it's an old flatbed truck over the potholes song. like this one by john prine, "unwed fathers". oooh i like this one. "trampled rose" by robert plant and alison krause. THIS is a gypsy song. this is one you could read "chocolat" too. this is flimsy sheer curtains blowing in the wind, out of an open window, with the moonlight shining on a wagon and a woman dancing in a full circle skirt, a gypsy band, candles and lanterns, and gypsies with roses in their hair, selling roses by the stem the next day in the village, on a cobbled road. a medicine wagon and in the back, the fortune teller with the crystal ball and the rose appearing in the ball. at the end, i see the window dressings twisting and blowing back and forth in the wind, wooden doors closing, a wagon travels on down the road.

with this song, "lungs" by lyle lovett, i see a woman thrown up in the air by the waist, in a jump, and then billows for the fire burning, and smoke and square dancing. keith urban, "making memories of me" so like this song. i guess this is a wedding song. shit. why doesn't anyone ever use "i don't give a FUCK" for their wedding? so sad, i am just like everybody else, so pop, and such a marriage song. this song creates its own pictures really, would have to think outside of its own constructs to come up with other pictures. hmm. i think the only part i don't like is where he says he's going to meet her with a warm, wet, kiss. wet kisses make me think of dogs sort of. i understand the real meaning of course, but i see a tongue lapping. really like this urban song though...warm fuzzy feeling song. like mindy smith's "i'm not the only one asking". hmmm, sort of political or truth song, shout from the rooftop or sing from the echo in the cave song, letting it ring into the valley it's a heaven song. like this one, by shelby lynne, "where am i", i could sing this one, and mean it. this song now, by john hiatt, "have a little faith in me"...i SANG this one for a friend's wedding. it was HUGE. i sang a duet but it was in a lower range which was hard. i still remember though, a woman who later became a roommate kept a tape recording of it--she did sound. one guy i knew played piano and then there were 2 voices, mine and this other guy's.

i like the lyrics to this--"the calling" by mary chapin carpenter. liked some of the others, but absorbed rereading emails and posting them.

the calling:

Deep in your blood or a voice in your head
On a dark lonesome highway
It finds you instead
So certain it knows you, you can't turn away
Something or someone has found you today

Genius or Jesus, maybe he's seen us
But who would believe us
I can't really say
Whatever the calling, the stumbling or falling
You follow it knowing
There's no other way, there's no other way

There are zealots and preachers
And readers of dreams
The righteous yell loudest
And the saved rise to sing
The lonely and lost are just waiting to hear
Any moment their purpose
Will be perfectly clear

And then life would mean more
Than their name on their door
And that far distant shore that's so near
They'd hear the calling
And stumbling and falling
They'd follow it knowing
There's nothing to fear
Nothing to fear

I don't remember a voice
On a dark, lonesome road
When I started this journey so long ago
I was only just trying to outrun the noise
There was never a question of having a choice

Jesus or genie, maybe they've seen me
But who would believe me
I can't really say
Whatever the calling, the stumbling and falling
I followed it knowing there's no other way

Jesus or genie, maybe he's seen me
But who would believe me
I can't really say
Whatever the calling, stumbling and falling
I got through it knowing there's no other way
There's no other way

One song called "ships" was really pretty but don't remember who sang it. also like this willie nelson song, "angel flying too close to the ground". such a very, very, pretty voice this one on nickel creek for "tomorrow is a long time"--this song makes me think about my son, not in the lover sense she sings of here, but in the missing sense and lost sense.

hearing alison krauss and union station, "restless", makes me feel like crying. sort of a swelling song, of lust and then sorrow and hope. kasey chambers, "i still pray"--this is a total tearjerker by an australian. i thought mabye it was a kid singing at first, but it's a woman. good type of voice for this song...an innocent voice for an world-weary song. this is one for me if i ever heard one--"strong enough to be my man" by sheryl crow.

my roommate came home when i was singing and i didn't notice. i had told him i was going to look for singing jobs but he's never heard me sing. so, i'm actually shy about singing around people unless its a real performance, and i waited until everyone was gone, to sing while at the computer. so i'm sick and everything and others are sick too and i'm nasal and have cough, so singing's not great. but i thought only the grandma was home. oh grandma. i don't care if SHE hears me! but then i turned, after singing awhile to bluegrass and lo! my roommate is sitting there looking at me. ohmigosh i said, how embarrassing. "i told you i wanted to get jobs singing too! and you've just heard THIS" so he's cracking up laughing, bc he knows i'm right. i'm a squawker right now. really like martina mcbrides "love's the only house", i used to belt this one out at my house all the time. i still like it and a verse escaped my singing lips even with my roommate here.

LOVE THIS SONG. i used to sing this one a lot when i was younger, after my car accident where my friend died and i broke my neck..."I Take My Chances" by Mary Chapin Carpenter. i just burst out singing and don't even care that my roommate is here, on the phone no less.! I take my chances! I take my chances every chance I get! Lyrics below:
I took a walk in the rain one day on the wrong side of the tracks
I stood on the rails till I saw that train
Just to see how my heart would react
Now some people say that you shouldn't tempt fate
And for them I would not disagree
But I never learned nothing from playing it safe
I say fate should not tempt me

I take my chances, I don't mind working without a net
I take my chances, I take my chances every chance I get

I sat alone in the dark one night, tuning in by remote
I found a preacher who spoke of the light but there was brimstone in his throat
He'd show me the way according to him in return for my personal check
I flipped my channel back to CNN and I lit another cigarette

I take my chances, forgiveness doesn't come with a debt
I take my chances, I take my chances every chance I get

I've crossed lines of words and wire and both have cut me deep
I've been frozen out and I've been on fire and the tears are mine to weep
Now I can cry until I laugh and laugh until I cry
So cut the deck right in half, I'll play from either side

I take my chances, I pay my dollar and I place my bet
I take my chances, I take my chances every chance I get
I take my chances, I don't cling to remorse or regret
I take my chances, I take my chances every chance I get
I take my chances

Chantal Kerviazuk, "Julia" is a good song...by a canadian artist. pretty good stuff. "they could never forget ya but they could say they said your name--julia"