I didn't take any Xanax last night or all day yesterday. I haven't had any today either. Instead, I slept fairly well, despite a series of strange dreams, and then got up late, took a walk, and then went back to sleep for hours.
Nothing has happened with the miscarriage. I'm a catacomb. But, I know the baby is gone, as much as I would like a miracle to happen. I'm shrinking everywhere and there's no pain, and no pressure or anything. When I say I'm shrinking, my belly is going down and my pants aren't as tight, and my breasts have gone down a little too.
I started crying on the way home, but disguised it well. It's probably hormones partly, but I'm sad about it.
I don't feel like doing anything basically. I know I'll be able to get back together, but this has taken me for a loop. I don't want to work, and I've realized some countries wouldn't like my "this reeks of patriarchy!" stuff, and others might not be able to offer better protection.
My family is not safe, and I have no future family to look forward to, unless someone comes forward on my behalf and the people involved in all of this are caught.