Visit With My Son

Aside from seeing a few things on my son, he was really happy to see me. He looked like he'd been healthier for awhile and then wasn't getting sleep again. He still has circles under his eyes and that's not normal for him. I also thought I detected the scent of throw up when he was drinking his grape juice, and he quit drinking it, so I wondered if he'd thrown up again earlier in the day but I forgot to ask. He looked pretty good, in general, aside from the rash by his lower belly. However, I had a great time with him. What was very weird, was that part of my dream, in a way, with him happy lying next to me, was a reality, but I don't know if someone is coaching him or putting ideas in his head. I will explain why in more detail in a minute.

First of all, he did his hide and seek thing from me when I first saw him, laughing. Then, he wanted to paint first thing. So he got the brush out and made a painting and then said he wanted the chick to say "hola" to him, so I had the chick talking to him and then painting with a brush between its feather wings. My son made silly faces like he thought it was weird, but was enjoying it at the same time. Then he wanted us to both paint with our fingers. He then said I hadn't brought his paint but I think he meant his "paintings" from last visit, because he made three of them. I said, "Oh, do you mean your paintings? are they up on the wall or on the fridge at your house?" and I told him I'd make sure I found out where they were.

I read "Frida" to him and he said, "Holly doesn't like that book." I said, "Well Mama likes this book, and it's okay if Holly doesn't like it. Everybody likes something different." I just really like the artist, this Ana Juan person and so does he. I told him I'd have to get a copy of The Little Engine That Could and read this to him too, and explained it's about a little engine which says "I can't do it! I can't do it!" and in the end, realizes he did it! Then he found letters from Junior Scrabble and called the names out correctly on 2 or 3 (letters) in the word Junior. I asked him if he wanted to match up more of the letter cards to the word and he said okay. So then I grabbed letters and let him throw them and then he would give one to me at a time and I would say, "What is it? Oh! It's the letter "W" for "Will" or "K" for King or "B" for "Bunny" and so on.

Then he wanted a piece of donut but was very upset it was "broken" and then threw a small temper tantrum but it seemed like dramatics more than anything, but he laid on his side and he would alternate between looking mad and sucking his thumb and smirking. I asked if he wanted a story and he said no. If he wanted a song and he said no. I asked all these things so finally I just laid next to him and then he put his arm around me and I turned to look at him and he turned away and I said something about his being "sneaky" and he cracked up. I can't remember how it was funny but it was.

So then he just started talking and holding my hand and snuggling and for at least one hour entirely, that's all we did, was lie down together and talk. He wanted me to feed him his donut so I did, and then his bunny yogurt so I did. He was somewhat demanding and I called him "Your Majesty" and then when he did it with the monitor though, and she complied, I told him to say "thank you" and he did. The cutest part, and he did a LOT of laughing, was when I was concentrating on something with a frown, he said, "Mama, are you mad?" and I said, "No, of course not! Why would I be mad? I'm always happy to be with you." So he said, "Are you happy?" and I said, "Yes! look at my face!" and I made a huge dramatic grin and nodded. He cracked up. So he said, "Are you happy?" and I did it again and he just laughed and laughed. He kept doing it so I alternated and crossed my eyes while smiling and he thought this was very funny. Finally, I mixed it up and made a dramatic sad face, huge pout, but nodded up and down at the same time, saying "I'm happy!" So back and forth and he was just laughing so hard. Then, he was doing it back to me, making faces and saying he was "happy" too.

At one point, he was pinching my nose so I talked in nasal tones and I made up a little mini-drama with him.

Then he sat up and we made crafts. Things with feathers, and "smuzzies" and rolly eyeballs, clothespins, and scissors and he used both hands when using the scissors. He cut paper and pipestraws with his left hand and also with his right hand and knew how to use them properly. The scissors I got are the kind which will work both ways, for either hand. He used both hands equally and with ease. He made an "angel" and he also made a "bird". I asked what it was, if it was a butterfly or an angel or something else and he called it an angel and wanted the angel facing him, to watch over him. He also helped string some beads along to make a necklace for Holly, which was my idea, to make one for her, but then he lost interest in this saying, "Go ahead Mama. You do it and I'll take a nap and then when you're finished, let me know."

He said something else along these lines which was really funny, and he knew he was being funny too. He said he'd take a nap while I picked up the craft items. He alternated with calling me Mom, Mama, and Mommy, which is typical.

He wanted to do a treasure hunt next. I forgot, poor kid, I had a lousy "surprise" for him in the end...I had him looking up my sleeve in the end and had no special trinket he hadn't already discovered so, voila! out came the nail clippers. He looked at me and said, "I don't want my nails clipped!" but at first, he appeared to be delighted with the idea of a nail clipper gift. He said thanks, but then it dawned on him...So I said, "Oliver let me cut your nails really fast okay? I'll be careful, but I don't want them to be too long or you might accidentally scratch yourself." So he said okay, and allowed me to cut his nails and seemed happy with it afterall. He was then examining with approval and tapping one finger into his palm saying, "This one needs to be cut" and I looked at said, "It's cut short enough for now but I'll take a better look at it later okay?" He said, "Okay" and nodded. Then I made him a calendar for the week with the smiley faces and he said, "A BIG smiley face!" and I showed him I'd made two for him on the calendar, for the days we see eachother and then he said, "No, a BIG one! Here!" so I made a big smiley face on the back of his calendar, with a hand waving to him. It surprises me how much seemingly small things end up being such a big deal to him. He doesn't forget anything I do. It's really sweet. I also gave him a full year calendar which I'd intended to mark our days on, but I don't know how visits will progress yet so I can't put anything in writing.

So we had a treasure hunt and he really didn't want to leave and kept saying he didn't want to go and then when she said he was going to see Holly he said he wanted to see "the kids" instead and he said okay. Then he gave me a lot of hugs and kisses and waved all the way out, walking backwards out of the room, across the next large room where there are a lot of people who could see this, and he backed out, facing me, all the way to the door, blowing kisses and waving and then at one point, shouting out loud in public, "Mama! DON'T GO, okay?" and I love yous and I said, "Okay! I won't!"

Oh, the one part I thought was a little bit acted out or something was when he went behind the rocking chair and peered through the bars and said, "I can't go this way or that way, I'm stuck." He was saying he couldn't get out on either side. So I pulled the chair out and he was still walking along with it.
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When I talked to someone later this evening, they said they lost their kids too, and it sounded like part of it was discrimination against being poor, or living in a travel trailer, but I still have never, ever, heard of the kind of thing I and my son have had to go through. Usually, not always-always, but usually there is at least something that was wrong and then some hoops to go through. Not in my case with my son. There is a ton of lying and when someone said to me today that it sounded "civil" I reminded them of the reasons it was actual criminal and amounted to this, and was not a "civil" matter. This is the biggest Section 1983 example I've seen, and it should so happen to be with me and my son, yes, in a long time. Abuse of authority under color of law, with intimidation and obstruction of justice to boot.

There is absolutely NO good that will come of letting this continue. None. There is nothing that I am going to do, without my son, which would satisfy any group at all. Having my son back is the most sure-fire way to keep me from blogging or looking into things. It would keep me busy with the attendance of my son.