images & music & dreams

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why would she choose to mock me
with a butterfly tank
telling me her cousin cried rape
because she didn't want to admit she was a whore
making points with daggers on the wall
sloshing beer upon my hands
i quietly wipe up her anger, spilling out
across my hands and counter, soaking into a napkin
said nothing
every night after night mocking me
sideways glancing and bitter green
hating, and i don't know why
said nothing
locked my voice inside my chest
while the yelling, yelling, accusations keep coming
pint after pint, after pitcher
suspicious looks, anger, fear and jealousy
said nothing
as others spoke up for me
the boyfriend of another stood up for me to take his seat
i said nothing except thank you
careful not to stir another pot of emerald green,
careful to let his girlfriend know I was going to
different club than he, and she was invited
never fought back, or gossiped, except
one man told me en espanol, me no gusta ella,
ella es malo por ti
tu noticia? i asked
everybody noticed everything, had my back in some way
ears like donkeys,
telling me things i kept to myself
picking up after jealousy,
again
and again
and again
how did i ask for this? i don't beg for attention
they know me, i don't
picking up the napkins, and
finally threw them back into the cage
where she stalked back and forth
seeking whom she willed to devour
i cleaned for her, cleaned up her messes
and said nothing when she talked about me
behind, in front, and to the side of my back
sour faced into the pub after reading my posts
pissed like a woman on a pill of peeve
every draft breaking was a piss in the pot
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it was dark midnight blue
black, and two hands came up from the waves
sword thrown high above, gold handle
small dingy next to the hands
a little rowboat flourescent green land
hills to the west
sun at the bottom of the sea tonight
lantern to the seahorses, fish mummies, mermaids
sharks bearing teeth
glowing and a crack in the seat, burning a blaze
sun sinks below the floor to the center of the earth
an asteroid hole left behind.
feeling for the steely edge, the slime on the bottom of the boat
sword is suspended above
resting
they call mist some days, but in evening it is haze
who is worthy, call to me,
i knew the lady
and the lockness monster who has gone to other seas
through a tunnel in the land like the sun had
this man has strong hands
praying hands, solitary hard working hands
tearing the ship off of the wreck
tearing the tarp from the circus tent
mast of black, caption on sand
what have you found with this instrument the prongs
of trinity
sand fleas chipper, biting at your heels
to shore the same bottle thrown in years ago
sealed laughed into a lull
in the caves they looked for a message with the camera
they stopped walking
mollusk armor cuts the hand
lifting the stringy seaweed like jewels from a dress
baubles and hair, lifted with a straight stick
toes sinking in
on the other side, darkness,
a beach for play, with chairs and colorful balls here
and a sword in the air there
in the middle of the sea, no moon
hands touch, you thought it was right
but you are following or you are staying above
went out this far, to the middle of nothing
no one can see you, tell you you're dreaming
the haze is lowered, low, and you chose to wait
for the change in weather
break with the hands
red sun glowering,
slipping like an egg yolk into the pan,
clam
cannot reach for the sword, it will come to you
if you stand, the boat will wobble
be patient, breath deeply, notice there are no stars
just this small light of you
glowing in your safety vest
little nest of spiders hatching in the corner
cheese and soghered bagles in a backpack
constellation in the webwork
you sleep as the net is cast
waking, see the sword within reach
but you must break through the beads of devil sweat
crawling, rolling into ques,
she is waiting for you at the caves
lifting seaweed to drape around her neck
baubles and glass pieces for the jar,
hair done up with tiny shells
tide comes and goes in hourglass
peering at the sea anemone orange, yellow,
the poc face of the cliff in the water
mollusk armor bearing seagull rings
three for me, cut them to size
when you've been freed
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the eensie-weensie spider crawled up the water spout
down came the rain, the rain, the rain
came out and thought never could you cry
couldn't feel the cold steel, white porcelain, turning hot
curled into a ball when the water flows in
no soap to cling to, no bath toy this time
feeling for a hold on the side and up
feeling for a hold on the side
looking above for the God who will choose to save
some would pick you up and throw you out, or wash you away
this one watches
the rat who had a baby will fight longer and harder
before drowning, will solve a puzzle better than one without
you are the father
out came the sun and dried up all the rain
the eensie-weensie spider crawled up the spout again
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(really do not like this one. wanted to write a few images today, but not inspired AT ALL, clearly. will make a couple of attempts and quit)

when it snows you hold in your breath
it rains and you run, the sun shines on me and your heart stops
you mumble, stumble, break over the words you try to spit out
red lipstick and wide eyes take the will out of you
i have you on a hook and reel you in
gaping, gilling for oxygen
***********************************************
(i really hate these. not inspired at all may erase this whole post
*************

No, I can't write images like this. I'm on too many drugs, in pain, and my mind isn't working creatively.

burst into brilliant hair pomade sheen
silver cluster headache mean on ice green
crystals from the science kit
growing tall as evergreen, break it
on my forehead, strike that
mountain in two to find the center
drop me into oil
like a doughnut, drop me into reverie
sizzling heat stroke touching me my hair
holding back forearm on my breasts
holding your hands to me
showing you how to write your name
my hand over his
at the kitchen table leaning in
headache, heart free
*************
that was my mumbo jumbo poem of the day
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in my dream i saw you lifted high
glass breaking, bottle shattered
dancing, you at your own wedding
never saw the bride but you were king
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I really had the dream i write about, above. it was a jewish wedding and i was in the center of the crowd, but i don't know what my role was there. i was just able to see everything and that was it. i saw this guy i knew lifted up, in a chair, i think, at this wedding and everyone was dancing, clapping, and laughing. i saw the broken bottle part of the ceremony and he was happy. to my knowledge, he wasn't or isn't jewish but this was the dream. i had it when i was pregnant i think, and dreaming more, but it was a dream that's about 2 months old.

i wanted to hear "mad world" by jules this morning. then, for inexplicable reasons,
i wanted to listen to backstreet boys again. what is WRONG with me? haha. so listened to a bunch of their songs and now "all i have to give" but i think michael jackson did this one? i'll have to see.

i am studying law again. i have to file notice of appeal i guess.

i looked up princess diana again today. i feel very subdued after my miscarriage (continuing process still) and have learned a lot from this, but one thing that still keeps at me, when i ever have a spare moment, is the knowledge diana was killed and that it was plotted. even seeing what i saw myself, in the last month, with malfunctioning machines for medical use, makes me wonder what was going on in that ambulance after diana was picked up. it is truly amazing, the possibilities, in the intelligence sphere, and it seems the only ones to really pick up on this are those in intelligence. everyone else seems to think it's not possible and cannot imagine things happening that are plotted. it's outside the realm of experience. but i know, and i'm alive to tell about the things i know, and i absolutely am familiar with the tactics used to discredit someone and the sophisticated technology that can be used against someone. so i continue to wonder and feel confident that while jfk and other mysteries may never be solved...i still think there is hope that the diana case will be solved. i could be totally wrong as it's unlikely, proven by the course of history, for an informant to come forward about such things, but i just believe there is still hope. i think i have a contribution to make as well, with my understanding of how a claim of mental illness is used and provoked against a person, to conceal the doings of others and cast doubt on the witness. i know, if i'm able to write all the books i want to write, one will be to dispute each and every mental illness and paranoia claim against diana, and show how her bulimia was causally related to her stress and alienation within her role. i believe i can show how she suffered from an adjustment disorder more than anything, which was continued as long as she was in the family and her role, and which would have dissipated with her departure from it. i know that i can show her enemies lied and attempted to magnify an illness to greater proportions so people wouldn't believe she was "onto" anything. more than once, they attacked her with claims that she was paranoid, when she wasn't--she had reasonable fears because she knew things had happened and was given information. i am looking forward to writing such a book. and i do, absolutely, believe she was pregnant. it is far more likely she was pregnant than not, and it's wrong to say there was no "evidence" she wasn't. for one thing, if there was a phone call to al-fayed making the announcement, you can be sure SOME intelligence team picked up on it. someone probably has a record of that call. secondly, it's completely bizarre to embalm only half of the body, and the half that would have been pregnant. third, first person testimony is evidence. al-fayed heard the announcement. it wasn't hearsay and i don't know why he would lie about something like that...people don't lie about such things.

in the last month, i've seen 3 different machines quit working when used for my care. i believe it would be possible to cause this to happen with technology. intelligence uses all kinds of things to stop machinery from working or operate it remotely. even low level police have use of technology which will stop a car from driving, by using a radar or something to stop the electrical components and bring a speeding car to a halt. there are all kinds of things that can be used to pick up on stuff, and even find operating equipment isn't difficult.

it is more than possible that something deliberate happened to diana in the ambulance, or that something outside of the ambulance controlled equipment or caused malfunctioning. these things are possible.

i will have to write about some of the other odd things that happened at PGH. when i left, the cab driver and the people in the waiting room. the cab driver was a woman i had received a ride from in either washington or oregon. it was the same women because i commented about her a long time ago, and it was the same car, with the glass in the middle and the st. michael the archangel sticker and she did the devil-casting-out weird stuff again. totally weird. and then the woman who was there in the waiting room, who knew the other guy who kept looking over at me and laughing and i saw them give eachother looks of recognition and then she asked me if i "knew the lord", specifically, "do you know the lord?" with a smirk, which didn't bother me but i remembered i had told christa how much it bothered me when someone said this to me. i had gone on and on about it. then i meet the old bag driver again, at PGH of all places, and then these others are making comments to me. it was very odd, but i have to write about it. the st. michael's sticker totally triggered my memory and then the way the cab driver acted...just weird, weird, weird.
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i found this online, and think it's interesting. it goes along with the link i posted about the guy with the documents showing british complicity in diana's death and i believe, includes the proof of pregnancy document. the guy with these docs was jailed under fraud, but look at what this says...he says he was with the cia and that he lied and said the docs were forgeries in order to be charged with a lessor crime. i understand why he would do this, if he did have motive:

ut it came as no surprise coincidence that in search of justice in what he regards as the murder of his son and Princess Diana, Mohammad Al Fayed returned to the history and speculation about the multinational Octopus cabal that was so important to Danny Casolaro. In the early fall of 2000, Al Fayed filed a Freedom of Information Act suit against the CIA and several other US intelligence services. He declared his intent to recover documents orignally surfaced by a self-proclaimed CIA agent named Oswald LeWinter. LeWinter previously had tried to sell documents to an Al Fayed cohort in Austria, documents purportedly implicating the British government in the Diana crash. LeWinter was arrested as a fraud, however, and sentenced in Vienna, 1998, to four years imprisonment.

LeWinter apparently still holds to the authenticity of the doucments, stating that "I had a choice at my arrest to identify the documents as genuine or as fakes. If I said genuine, I would face charges in the US of high treason . . . so I said they were forgeries and was arrested for fraud."

i do think it's odd that trevor rees had supposed "amnesia" about events leading up to the collision. you cannot blame him, bc these things happen, but i remembered most of the events which occured right before my auto accident and i had a head injury and everything. i could remember almost everything until the moment i was knocked unconscious. i think, though, that trevor had advocated for more security for diana and was concerned about this, would have to read what he's said. still, i read diana's seatbelt was stuck in the back so she couldn't use it even if she wanted to. also, that mercedes had been stolen from a garage prior to its use in the accident and it wasn't the car they were originally taking. from what i understand.

i am finding the official documents of the inquest. one thing i'm good at, is finding contradictions and inconsistencies.

i notice these things in the newspaper and media all the time. they're reporting the missing girl was wearing a white blouse and then it's a white skirt, and the info is all over the place. then we've got the car makers bailout at 15 billion, then 14 billion, and then it's at 17 billion. numbers and facts all over the place again.

i think, to figure things out, books and firsthand testimonies should be contrasted with the official inquest documents, with science, and i think conspiracy theories and accounts by other intelligence cannot be discounted. a lot of information going into this whole case was obviously disinformation meant to throw people off-track. i don't believe this would be done at the last minute, to hastily cover. it was carefully planned

i'm not at a place where i can investigate much right now. i have to figure out filing a suit in federal court re. dependency. i will not lose interest in this whole thing until i've examined everything though. right now i only have time to browse idly and come up with questions. but when i get serious, i'll be more methodical and better about note keeping. i'm good at uncovering motive too, and getting into the psyche of why someone is doing or saying what they're doing. like, all this persistent nonsense about diana being paranoid. there's a reason for claims like these and you can see when it doesn't square.

i've gone from backstreet boys to n'sync. lol. i am listening to bubblegum pop today. which cracks me up. just listened to "gonna be me"
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site or link for inquest documents: http://www.scottbaker-inquests.gov.uk/

One thing I would do, because I believe Diana's death would either be for religious or weapons-government reasons, is to find out the religious backgrounds of all involved. From the medics that cared for her, to who was giving orders, to who has written books about her, to who has slandered her and perpetuated the paranoia claim most, etc. I would find out the religion of each and every person involved and see if there is a commonality. That wouldn't prove anything, but could be a starting point. or at least something to consider, in light of other evidence. for example, a doctor ordered the ambulance to stop on the way to the hospital. a mr. martino. so what religion is he? if there is a religious motive and someone was concerned about muslims having an influence in british government or being connected indirectly to the throne, etc., religious motive cannot be excluded. why would the ambulance be ordered to stop for low blood pressure?

listening to michael jackson now. the way you make me feel and now don't stop til you get enough

i know my blood transfusion machine quit working when i needed blood. will we ever know if anything was malfunctioning when diana was in need? i had people trying to discharge me with a blood pressure of 77/34. that is not normal, nor was my response to taking cytotec. i would not have had time to call er. the blood loss i had after taking cytotec wouldn't have given me time to get to the phone before passing out. i lost a tremendous amount of blood and placenta and tissue before transfusion. i believe i would have died had i been at home. i panicked when the blood transfusion machine wasn't working and the nurses refused to call a doctor in, and it was only after i placed a call to another hospital, that the machine suddenly began to "work" again and i could get the blood.

we'll see if there was anything wrong with the blood they gave me, in the near future. at the time i received the blood i had zero stds or disease or any issues and i did not have hiv or anything even close. i never have, in my life.

i think it's odd that the MRI machine quit working, and then the sonogram machine, on my first visit, and then on my second visit, all these other problems. they seem to extraordinary odds, and then my departure crew (cabdriver and people in waiting room) was bizarre to boot. if someone is trying to freak me out, it isn't working. i know what's going on, and i am not phased by attempts to cause me to panic. i make my observations and write them down, because i have known for a long time that a group has tried to screw with me. but nothing they've ever done, has ever caused me to doubt myself or my judgment and perceptions. i know myself and trust myself.

everything i've gone through, and live through still, gives me an advantage in my ability to believe in diana and that she was set up. i know the possibilities. i think that it's possible someone may come forward for me, about what's happened and who may be involved, and i also believe someone may come forward for diana. i don't think i would have it in my heart to examine her case without reason. i feel it is something i have been pointed towards, and it's not something i sought after. princess diana's case sort of found me, and the more i look into things, the more i believe there is something there. i think, while it sounds odd, that there is a reason i'm looking into her case. i think i will uncover something. i don't know what, but for some reason, i am interested and feel there is something down the line.rose. start with rose.

i think, all info should be reexamined and then lined up in an orderly fashion, from beginning to end. i read that the names of those in the ambulance were never released and i don't know if this is true. i'd like to know the names of all those in ambulance at the time.
listening to "ben" and "abc"

would check out these witness statements against other statements they've made and verify the accuracy of reporting from this site and their source:
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/new-eyewitness-claims-he-saw-several-men-loitering-in-the-tunnel-moments-before-crash-that-killed-princess-diana.html

if woman and husband witnesses who were of middle eastern descent claimed one man looked mediterranean, what would this mean? they were also sort of medit. so not racially motivated to name a type of ethnicity...med. as in italian or spanish? french possibly? or med. as in middle eastern med.?

i am beginning to believe in the strobe light theory. it was discounted at the inquest, as being lights from the photographer's cameras, but if this was premeditated, as it would have to be for so many things to be concealed, this would be the perfect excuse. flash of cameras would be the perfect cover for a strobe light that was brighter and would disorient the driver. any one would know it could easily be dismissed and explained away because of the perfect conditions of photographers chasing. it was the perfect foil. and not to mention, this was a known assassination tactic, which a former MI6 man revealed to know about himself. no one is going to assassinate the mother of princes, and someone as famous as diana without airtight alibis in place. the photographers were constantly taking photos but the witnesses seem to remember only ONE bright flash of light. if it was normal camera flash, there would be more than one flash, and it would all be ongoing. we can see that a photo was taken of the people in the car from the last shot before the accident, where we get a view of trevor rees and the driver and diana looking behind her. so cameras were always going off, but witnesses comment about one particularly bright flash, and this doesn't really square with paparrazi flashes, because it's singled out as being singular, and stronger than camera flash.

listening to "crazy for you"

also suspicious is how these firsthand, on-site witnesses' statements were not included in the official version presented at inquiry. why were they kept out of the inquest? why does their testimony not square with official version? while this site is a sensational one, i've read some of these witness statements before, and they seem to be consistent regardless of site or publication. the witnesses claim the same thing and their testimonies corrobate each others' account, but they were kept out of inquiry, from my understanding.

listened to michael jackson and now the bangles: "eternal flame" and now "if she knew what she wants"... huh. i like this one, it sounds like ME!
"Some have a style
That they work hard to refine
So they walk a crooked line
But she won't understand
Why anyone would have to try
To walk a line when they could fly

No sense thinking I could rehabilitate her
When she's fine, fine, fine
She's got so many ideas traveling around in her head
She doesn't need nothing from mine"

Back to the witnesses for the collision in the tunnel, I remind myself that if this was premeditated, so would some of the witnesses be positioned, possibly, to make claims. So there is probably some discrepency between the testimonies. I would want to collect and verify each and every witness statement and then compare and contrast.

still listening to bangles: "if she knew"

i had some dreams i want to write about now.

one i had, i already wrote about. it was about the father of my unborn baby. i didn't name him as being the person in the dream, but it was him and he was at his own wedding. i didn't see who the bride was in my dream.

then i had another dream, about a week before my baby died from MRI. in my dream, i saw about 3-4 people, men and women but i think more men, and they were just standing there, and in my dream, i had the impression my baby wasn't going to live. i knew, in the dream, that this baby wasn't going to be born and didn't have a future. it wasn't a scary dream but more of a telling dream, and i had the impression that some were involved in not wanting it to be born. i woke up and thought to myself, this one isn't going to live. but what could i do? i put it out of my mind, but it was a very certain dream and impression that i got. they found a heartbeat after i had this dream, and then 2 days later, there was nothing after MRI. but i remember being concerned even when i saw the heartbeat, bc i had had this dream and i didn't see the baby moving, and felt something wasn't okay or something bad was going to happen.

i had another dream not too long ago, a few days ago, that i went to Mexico to be sure my son was safe. everything was in living color. when i got there, it seemed no one was home. i was overcome with grief over my son, and worry, and concern, and angered by my aunt's family's interference with my bond with my son and cutting off my phone visitation. i went through their mail and was taking anything that was important, to punish them. i then looked for something to take that was of sentimental value to them. someone came down, a daughter, and i hid the mail in my bag and said i wanted to see my son. he was taking a nap but immediately upon hearing my voice, he woke up and wanted to go to me. he showed me around, to all of the toys he'd gotten from me. he didn't want to show me any of his new toys, but just the ones which he and i played with together. he wanted to lie down next to me and suck his thumb and hold my hand. then he was out of the room or asleep again and out of sight, and my aunt came around the corner. out of the sight of her daughters, so they wouldn't be upset, i went after my aunt and pulled her skirt down to her ankles and dragged her along the hallway. i didn't hurt her, but in my dream, intended to humiliate her, and she, knowing i had a right to be angry with her, and knowing what she'd done was wrong, said nothing and took it. she knew she deserved worse. then i saw my son again and he just wanted to play with me and kept hugging me and didn't want to let me go. i do have PTSD from what CPS and wenatchee and some of my own family has done to me and my son. i dream about my son and think about him all the time. i wouldn't do, in real life, what i did in my dream, but it was a satisfying dream, to drag my aunt around with her skirt at her feet after what she's done and how she's lied.

my mother tried to tell me, recently, about the whole line-up of people on HER side of the family that want to take my son and adopt him themselves. i was in the hospital bleeding and getting transfusions and my mother told me holly and pablo wanted my son and that if they didn't get him, there were others in my family that did, including Andres, who is a horrible person and is the single guy who no woman wants to date who is a religious fanatic and abusive verbally, and another one of holly's sons and his wife.

anyway, those are some of my dreams.

i just had a thought, as i was getting my maruchan instant lunch (top ramen), about diana and her bulimia...i know and have read, that most women or teens who become bulimia, interestingly, have had issues with their father and it is usually an attempt to gain back some kind of control they feel they don't have or that has been taken from them. bulimia is often a condition which is a reaction to an overbearing father. and diana said she did think prince charles was sort of a father figure in some ways. diana never had an eating disorder when she was younger or living with her family or at boarding school. she developed bulimia several years into her marriage, and the main stressor, for her, was charles, who was the father figure. it absolutely makes sense that her bulimia was a result of the treatment she received by charles. it wasn't the result of her childhood and she's said as much, that her bulimia and cutting developed as a survival attempt from living with verbal abuse and alienation from charles, who also criticized her as being chubby. i knew she believed the bulimia was a reaction to her role and being in the family, but i just realized how it is connected, logically, to the father figure model, which lends credibility to her claim it was charles. not to down charles, and i'm sure no one in his family, including his sons would want to hear or read this, but i am advocating for diana and not popular opinion or that family's opinion of me. i'll have to read up more about the father-bulimia connection.

oh wow. no one even called for help when diana was found. the photographers just kept snapping away, not caring. they said they thought someone else had called. it was an "anonymous woman" who called for help. so all these people were standing by as diana was dying. i wonder who the anonymous woman was and why she wanted to be anonymous. usually they ask for your name and i wonder if she knew it was diana and was close to the scene or not.

I found this link from a witness and I think they DID testify at the inquest. I found this statement of interest because it confirms this light was much greater than a camera flash, the witness thought it was something like a police radar. He also someone looking into the car, giving a SIGNAL to the other passenger on the motorbike, and then took off--frank running from the scene of an accident. concerning is the signal. what kind of signal? thumbs up? why would anyone signal unless they were following a course of action and confirming the job was done? http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1566192/Witness-tells-Diana-death-inquest-of-white-flash.html. it was a major white flash, not like a camera.

what i would have done, with this witness, was go back to the tunnel at night, and try to position them where they were before, and then use two different lights--a light from a professional photographer's flash, and then a strobe light of the sort this former MI6 man said could be used to disorient someone, and i would ask the witness which light most closely resembled the strength of what he witnessed. i don't think levistre would lie. he was found guilty of possessing an illegal firearm and i think spent time in jail for it, but that doesn't make him a liar about this and what would be his motive for lying anyway? he was also investigated for trying to sell a baby to a couple, but the media reports this and doesn't add that if it was an investigation, they obviously didn't have evidence or he would have also been charged. so the investigation can be thrown out, and even if he DID try to "sell a baby" it doesn't mean he'd lie about this. the police said he'd given contradictory statements and this would hold the most weight with me, but police could be claiming contradiction when it really wasn't, and he'd just left something out or something. i would like to see these alleged contradictions. if what levistre says is true, this was not a normal camera flash. and most of the witnesses who saw a large and bright flash, believed it was more than cameras. at first glance, i and anyone in jury would think it could be explained away by photographer's flash, but this just doesn't square with the testimonies.

i want to do more research, but it also says, according to a witness, the electrical power was off in the car when it was swerving, before impact. so i could imagine a strobe light was used to disorient, and that something else was possibly used to disable the car electrically, making driving difficult, possibly, and affecting the ability of the driver to see where he was going.

i think henri was a spy, or low level informant, for someone, and he was obviously getting paid, but i don't think he was kamikazee. if he was on a suicide/homocide mission, he wouldn't have needed a strobe light or anything else to affect the driving...he'd simply drive into a pillar all on his own. i don't think he wanted to die and i question his blood test results because of the carbon monoxide found, and the alchohol. someone claimed the blood was switched with a suicide victim but that doesn't make sense to me, because the intoxication levels taken from different parts of the body were so close together, and all the doctors said it was pretty impossible to get alcohol readings that similar. if it was a strange reading for henri, it would also be a strange reading for a suicide victim. i would be more convinced that the actual blood samples were somehow tampered with. is it possible to add alcohol to someone's blood to get a particular reading? but then when would the carbon monoxide come into play? no one would add this bc it would be suspicious. maybe the blood came from the suicide victim but alcohol was added, to make an excuse for henri's inability to drive? i don't know.

i somehow got onto jonny restivo "dear someone" and ersel hickey, "you never can tell" and "i can't love another". i guess i'm onto 50s stuff now.

i went to the inquiry site and found levistres testimony. i'm skimming it now, and !!! found out a tv crew actually interviewed him and performed a light test such as i would do. they put on 3 different kinds/strengths of lights and the first he said no to, the second wasn't it, but the third, he said was bright enough. i'm assuming this third light was a strobe or strong enough by comparison but i would like to find out exactly.

wow. levistre says there were no photographers in the tunnel when he was there and saw the "hit men" on the motorbike, and the white car pass. he saw the news speaking about the paparrazi and thought it was strange bc they weren't there in the tunnel when it happened (so if this is true, they caught up and began taking photos upon arrival at the site). perhaps the photo taken from the front of the car, was one taken before the chase began...that photo implies, when you look at it, you get the idea photographers were all around, even in front. but if it was taken in the beginning, it may be there was no one else next to diana's mercedes when the collision occured. so in that case, it wouldn't be a crash caused by paparrazi. if the motorbike people were photographers and not in on things, they would have stopped like the others did, to at least get photos. they wouldn't have sped away.

on cross-exam, he is told his statement is contradictory. but he asserts he was told to sign a statement and didn't read it because of unpleasant contact with french police; he asserts some of the statements are not his, and when challenged as to why he didn't ask for a correction, levistre says he wasn't allowed to read anything until the documents were in the hands of the british system. I don't see anything incriminating from the inquest deposition of levistre and his wife. they say they are telling the truth and that they didn't know what was being written when they gave their statements to other police, and later discovered what was written was wrong. this is possible, because i know how statements i've made have been twisted by even doctors, and statements even ADDED and attributed to me which i never made; i also know police, bad ones, will try to influence or change statements, as was the case with sgt. austria with regard to his attempt to prevent me from writing my own statement and telling me to change my facts. i believe the testimony by the levistres, so far. i only skimmed it and need to read it more carefully, but it's an important testimony.

well i think i'm done on the diana stuff for quite awhile. there is too much information to go through. i looked up some of the documents and there is a TON of info. it would take forever to sort through and i'd want to print it out so i can lay things out on a table or floor. i don't have time to go into this any further, but i can see there is plenty to go over. so far, i'm more convinced her death wasn't accidental. but i will have to leave this alone for many months. i wanted to dig enough to see if there's something there, and there is, i think, but i am setting it aside until i have other things worked out.

there's not a lot to do today, on a weekend.

my pain from the miscarriage stuff is actually getting worse it seems. i took a diauldid earlier than is due, and the pain increased, and then i took some ibuprofen and the pain is still increasing. i haven't bled in the last several hours and my stomach feels bloated or painful. if things slow down but i still have pain or it increases, i'll have to go back to ER, but i'm trying to avoid this and let nature take it's course.

who is brenda wells and has anyone found her? i keep reading she gave a statement and then was warned by police (french) to disappear for her own families safety.

HEY. look at this...the inquest accused levistre of changing his testimony months or years later, but he gave an account to reuters that matches the account he gave at inquest. when levistre first gave his account, he said he saw a motorbike and there was a strong flash of light and his wife said let's get out of here, it's a terror attack. He made this statement on the Internet on 4/9/97. so his comments and statements were online, and he didn't change his story, it's just that the police wrote it down differently than he testified to Reuters, Paris, and at inquest. so this seems even more suspicious now, that he would be accused of lying or inconsistencies at inquest. i have to double check everything, but i got this reuters date from: http://www.fantompowa.net/Flame/diana_eyewitness.htm

the testimony of brenda wells, who disappeared after being warned to go into hiding by french police, is the same testimony given by levistre. she also claims there were no paparrazi in the tunnel at the time of the crash, and lists only a couple of cars and that motorcycle. she also describes very strong flashes of light.

perhaps levistre wasn't as much of a threat, because someone thought they could discredit him with his criminal record, even if it was minor. brenda wells may have been a dangerous witness because if she was clean and had no record, she would be confirming what levistre said, and she would be more of a threat.

WRONG DATE. Okay, that date has to be wrong. it would be april 9, 2007, before the accident ever occured in august. so something is wrong with the date. will have to find out when his statement was made to reuters. Wait, it's just a reversal of numbers. he gave this testimony on september 4, 2007, just a few days after she died. so YES, he did give a consistent account, if you go by what he told reporters at this time, and what he said at inquiry. the only inconsistencies were those when other people were writing down his statements FOR him.

there were skid marks for 16 meters and police didn't know what the reason for sudden braking was. it seems, at least, the brakes were working, enough to cause skid marks. some witnesses said car in front tried to block mercedes, but this isn't noticed...

i'm still wondering, why did brenda wells, specifically, disappear? why would SHE choose to go into hiding and not the others? did she see faces? did she recognize anyone or get a plate number, or anything? why is SHE important, and her testimony more dangerous than anyone else's?

if it is true she was told to go into hiding, and if it is also true levistre's comments and statements were tampered with, it would seem the police are hiding something and that it is something about wells' and levistres' accounts, in particular, which is hitting the mark.

could brakes fail and then work and then fail again? if someone was using a remote control device of some sort...do the skid marks lead directly to the pillar of impact? if not, and there is a gap, why?

there really has been a lack of completely investigative journalism into what happened. i wonder if most journalists just don't want to risk their lives, because they are certain powerful groups involved could also kill them and make it look like an accident. did the cia and nsa release all the conversations they recorded? why do they claim releasing info they have on diana would harm "national security"? how could diana's private conversations possibly be a danger to the U.S.? unless they recorded her talking to someone about arms and weapons the U.S. had or had some kind of military knowledge, which might explain why the dept. of defense would also be interested in her. i think the cia knows whether di was pregnant or not. maybe they don't, but i just "think" so

You read stuff, like this interview with former MI6 Richard Tomlinson, and wonder why anyone would dare say diana was paranoid; she was followed everywhere and monitored everywhere, and she knew it, and her enemies still try to say she was just paranoid. it stinks to high heaven. here, richard speaks about the extent of the surveillance on princess diana: http://www.wethepeople.la/tomlin2.htm