Monday, May 20, 2013

Gun Position (photos)

I saw a photo of the size of gun I'd like to have, just a tiny one, but I'm told the little ones don't do any good in a serious emergency.  I don't know, I just like how compact they are.  I was taking a couple of photos for my son and then ended up holding this camel lighter I got (one of few things I have that is like a toy, or looks like one) and it sort of fits the palm like a tiny pistol.  I don't know if I'm a leftie or rightie with guns.

I was never taught to shoot one growing up.  Just a rifle or another kind once or twice with my Dad but I wanted to practice and wasn't allowed.

I think this is why those female police broke my left hand in Knoxville, TN.

I think someone thinks I was trained to shoot with my left hand, as a toddler.

(photo from, crime books)
Why else would someone from a federal detention center, that used me there, with their government psychics present, break my hand?  They hand-printed me, for the UK apparently, because who, in the U.S. needs a handprint?  It's something that is done for the UK.  The U.S. had a machine there for it but it was because it was a place where they hold "espionage" risks.  It was in Knoxville, next to one of only a couple of "active" nuclear sites.  Because it had an international group there, I guess that's why they had this lockdown fed site where they handprint people and use people without consent for government research.   They put me in a clear plastic room, and used a woman who looked my mother when she was young, to make predictions openly for them to watch.  It was basically like being in a maximum security prison cell with "Mom-look-a-like" and putting both of us together to be recorded and documented by the U.S. government.
So why break my left hand?  I already had my left arm broken, twice, and what was the point of deliberately breaking my wrist and hand?  I thought, aside from using the opportunity of distraction by pain as a way to inject me with something, maybe they thought they were breaking or rupturing something inside of my arm or hand when they did this.  Then again, even though I never had anything to do with my guns my entire life, maybe someone made a suggestion to someone that I was trained to shoot with my left hand, which would have had to have been before age 4 because I don't remember it, so they broke my hand.  I had a squirt gun--a water gun, when I was a kid, and that was it.  I have no idea what hand I used for that but I think it was both. 
There are only a couple of reasons someone working for the U.S. government would go outside of their authority and do this to me.
At first I thought it was just to humiliate me, but she deliberately went for my left hand.  It wasn't like both of my arms and hands were evenly twisted up--she picked it out.  The other idea I might have, that coincides with the idea of "hate crime" is that she went for the left hand, with the idea of harming the left side of my body altogether, as some kind of sick joke, after I had joked to Christa Schneider that all these things happened to the left side of my body and when I was old I'd look like I had a stroke.  I was joking, and people who committed hate crimes, picked up on it and turned it into their own form of a sick joke.  I hadn't known that they had something to do with all the other problems I had had earlier in my life as well.  So if she was tagging into the hate crime, that is why she did this to my left hand specifically.  And this is the hand they photographed or "printed" with their fingerprint-handprint machine.
If it wasn't some weird left-hand side of my body joke, it was maybe as a tribute to men who were "lefties" and worked for the federal government who raped me or assaulted me, because a lot of them were coincidentally left-handed.
Otherwise, I can only guess the other option was that there was some idea something was in my arm, wiring or something else, that they wanted to break or ruin, from my broken arm surgery, OR they broke my left hand with the idea that I was trained to use a gun with my left.  If that was an idea, it's something I have no memory of, in my own childhood.  I had a water gun and I loved it.  It was one of my favorite toys and then one year, suddenly we were told, "You should never point a gun at anyone, not even a pretend one" and we weren't allowed to even have a WATER GUN anymore.
There was a water gun at Granny's, for tub toys, water gun fights with cousins, and mostly, I had water guns at our in Moses Lake, Washington, one at a time.  I went from having a small pistol-revolver watergun to wanting a machine gun watergun and that's when our guns disappeared.  It was just a bigger gun, and I thought about it all the time, how much farther it would shoot and how I could really sneak up on my brother from far away.  I had the gun model and kind and everything picked out.  It was top of my list.  But I didn't get it, and then my smaller guns were gone or maybe when the one broke, I wasn't allowed to get another one. 
Guns were fine, for water fights, and then all of a sudden, my parents had some idiots coaching them to not allow us to have anymore water guns, and now we could only have "water balloons".
It must have been the "Party Pieces" people.
Balloons! not guns!  Right.  Like THAT's how they got their money.
Then it was lectures and re-education all of a sudden, about "don't ever point a gun at anyone, not even if it's a toy".  Which was good advice, of course, but what was weird was that they didn't see any harm with water guns and someone else made a big deal about it and took them away from us and said our family wasn't allowed to have them. 
The one that I had wanted, was about as big as a regular sized rifle.  It had this big barrel and held a lot more water, and shot a longer distance.  I read the specs over and over, and imagined how great it would be to have that gun.  I loved our water "fights" and it was lots of fun and I thought, "I want a big one now."  It maybe had more than one chamber or some kind of different positioning thing, but I mostly remember it was rifle sized compared to a revolver.  It was like a paintball gun size but was for water.  Then I remember when my last water gun broke that I was allowed to have and it was very light translucent green with an orange and white piece to it.  The trigger was white and then there was a small orange section on it, or dot or mark.  I showed it to my Dad and said I had to get another one and we were already being blocked from having guns for play water fights.  It was fine to "bomb" someone with a water balloon, or throw a big ball at someone, to break water all over them, but it wasn't okay to have water guns.  Grenades were okay, water guns were not.  The party balloons came in so many rainbow colors!  just like candy.  just like taffy.
Let's have a "grenadine margarita, on Mike's tab."
I don't know why I said "Mike"! 
I'm going to get you with my balloon.
I also had a solid yellow translucent gun.  The entire thing was yellow and it had a pattern or texture on it, maybe near the handle.  Possibly I had a blue gun but if I had red or blue I don't remember but I think I did.  I had a bunch of different ones but some I had longer than others.  I think I had a blue one with maybe red and white somewhere but not noticeable or blue with white, and then I think it was at Granny's there was a very small solid clear red toy gun for bath time. 

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