Mom & Dad On Fiance

Well, it seems my marriage plans are a hit with Mom & Dad. First time in a long time the conversation was pleasant and they seem to be very supportive of this. In some ways, as they would know, I'm PISSED that they are not so "okay" with me and my son, and my being a single mom. But they seem to think this is good for everyone and were supportive and for the first time in a long time, I felt accepted by my family. They don't think it's normal to be 34 and never married I guess. Or for a little boy to be without a male figure.

Not that they didn't have questions of course. They wanted to know if it was for love or for mutually beneficial reasons. I said, honestly, that I had realized I was in love with someone before meeting A. (my fiance), but that we couldn't be together and then I met A. and we both love eachother and care for eachother and ALSO realize there are benefits to marriage. As everyone knows. I didn't think about all of the benefits.

For example, I said, I was in the hospital and someone was there to help me. If I'm in bed and my back is killing me and I have to take medicine, he brings it to me. I told them I also thought it was good for Oliver, because I would never consider marrying someone who wasn't completely and absolutely FOR my son. That was my number one consideration. He and I both want to work FT as most of my childbirth injuries have healed (except probably my tailbone), until Oliver is back with me and then my fiance wants me to stay at home with Oliver and be able to take him out for playdates and things, and then he'll work FT. Oliver will go into preschool and then of course, by kindergarten, I would be back to work. I would work as time permits with my son.

My mom was impressed with this, and with the fact that A. is willing to do work considered to be "beneath" his experience and education, as he's a professional architect in his country. They are also glad we plan to stay in the U.S., because A. wants to work here and economy is better, and I don't want to take Oliver out of the country, or wouldn't want to, until I really felt comfortable.

I told my family how supportive A.'s extended family and friends are. It's a very tight Latino family where everyone can count on everyone to look out for the kids and it's easy to find a family babysitter. The children are all amazing and very respectful to their parents, sometimes addressing their mother as "Senora" and respectfully greeting the adults they are introduced to, with a traditional kiss on the cheek. The children are all delightful and warm. I know my son prefers to play, in general, with Latino children because they tend to be a little more affectionate. I want that for my son, to be hugged and to able to play well with other kids and feel part of a family.

My mother said, of the photos, "He's good-looking and he LOOKS nice." I said he was. I guess my Mom & Dad both thought he looked nice and they said they are looking forward to meeting him. They've no objections and are glad about everything.

I felt really happy for my son, being able to have this support and this conversation with my parents. It just solidified, for me, how this is good for my son and for me, especially after so many problems and misunderstandings. I'm glad too, because it will be an easier transition for even my son, I think, as my fiance reminds me some of my aunt's husband, Pablo.

It's good to have such a wonderful support network.

My fiance came downstairs to make sure I go up for dinner. He is still making sure I eat enough, lol. I'm a little thin but it's just because I've been worried sick about my son and busy trying to take care of things so I forget to eat.

I will come back later and write a little more but I wanted to write this.

I've heard some more 80s songs I really like:
"The Earth Dies Screaming" by UB40 and "Faithful" by Go West and "Sugar Box" by Jerico (really touched me and meant something to me), and "Mystery Man" by The Outfield.

I will be back. I promise.

I am just taking a very small break, but I will be back. Stronger and fortified, I hope. ;)

Well, I'm back to blog--