i looked up jamie dettmer for the first time today. all this time i'd never googled him or looked him up because i didn't want to judge him for what he did or his importance, but for who he was and who i was getting to know.
i don't know. sometimes i google, and then other times i worry that my own opinions might be influenced by the idea of someone's status or standing. i think i get worried i cannot trust myself to be "above the influence."
i was going to look him up though, simply because he's a writer! and i love the writers. well, i looked him up and i'm on the last rung there of writers while he's at the top. so much news on him! very priviledged to meet him i'm sure but i'm pissed he never called me back. i didn't have much patience but times were dire.
at any rate, i did size him up, myself, while he was both dressed down and dressed up, and the man is charming and witty. he is what i would think of when i think of london actually. well, him and these beautiful black women from london whom i met at my hotel a few months ago.
he seriously makes me think of a james bond. oh, and his name is jamie. ironically, the name i gave my son. no connection whatever. lol. but i guess jamie dettmer is the only jamie or james i knew at the time i named my son. the name just came to mind though. but his mind is like ex calibur. i just don't know what he's all about entirely. i know he mentioned houses here and there, italy, and it sounds exciting and beautiful, but i am intrigued by THIS not as much as what he writes about. there's a lot out there and it looks like the same page i'm on, philosophically. i was first not upset bc i know he's incredibly busy, but then i was pissed too because of my situation and the fact that i didn't ask to begin with. so, pissed and wondering why he sort of sought me out. we talked on different occasions, but he shook his head no to his "guys" when we were leaving the restaurant, like i'd said something wrong. i am hot and cold but so is mr. jamie dettmer. i wonder whether diana liked him or not.
at any rate, i wish for him the best with his son and for my own son.
last night we watched the movie about perpective: vantage point. i liked it but it freaked me out--the woman and the senseless killing and betrayals. the other one is "gangs of new york" and i'll have to see it again but i remember christa had really wanted me to see that one at the time.
i am sort of seriously discussing marriage, still, with a. i'm not going to say more about it though but i've put out different disclaimers and i don't want to say anything about this personal part of my life right now.
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