Hmmm. Just tried to post but it said conflicting edits so I'll have to try again in a minute.
Oh, I sooo like Chris Brown's "Forever". Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. What a crazy, crazy, beautiful voice--this song really showcases his voice. Love Jordin Sparks "Tattoo". It's in my range and fun to sing.
Last night I had a date and I have his name but didn't and haven't googled him. I would rather get to know someone for who they are and not their name. I didn't want to look it up because he had mentioned he's in the music industry and I didn't want to know too much really. I mean, I DO want to know more about the music industry and be involved somehow, but I don't want my dating opinion to be influenced by what someone does for a job. He does other things too, and some humanitarian-type work which is cool.
A good date, and I hope to get to know him better. Had the best fajita's ever and it was good to get out. We agreed, "A breath of fresh air."
Made out a little, which was also nice but I realized I want to get know people better right now, not be serious--just want to get to know people better first. And I've got my son thing going on right now.
We listened to some music and discussed it too. Listened to The Fray, who I like and discussed artists who are good in the studio but not live. Cannot sell it live, or sing live. So that was fun. Leaving the restaurant I heard "You Spin Me Round, Round" across the street and so wanted to dance. I love that song and thought about the image I had the other day, of records and Cds turning.
So this is the weird thing, for me. I told him how I sometimes could see images or pictures of things that related to someone's life. I told him it was usually random and came unexpectedly. But I told him about my ex and how I saw him with his hands up and a gun pointed in front of him and how this happened to be true, (later confirmed). My ex just had his hand on my neck and I saw this flash in front of me. So I told him, I was trying to see if I could "hone" this because usually I couldn't summon it at will. So I asked him to be quiet for a moment and let me think for a moment.
His head was on my chest and my hand was on his head, in his hair. I prayed I might see something that had something to do with his life which he would know I couldn't have known on my own. So first I saw a word "gymnasium". It was just a word and I don't know if meant anything. The next thing was a flash of a picture. I saw a silver cup with handles. I asked him if he'd been given a silver cup. He said yes. I said, "Did it have handles on either side?" and he said yes it did. I said, "Did you say anything to me about this or that would make me think of this" and he said no. I knew it was no, but I was still surprised I got something right.
I don't know what he received it for and I didn't ask. I felt it was for him to know more than me so I didn't ask.
Then I saw a couple more words but I figured, right off, that I was completely "off". I was. hahaa. I saw the word "blue blood" and I said "I know this isn't right because you're from Wisconsin." haha. We laughed and he said no, he wasn't. It was just a word that popped into my head. I didn't tell him, but the other word that popped into my head was "princess". Hahahaaa! "Are you a princess?" "Does princess mean anything to you Cheese?" So I didn't tell him this. I figured the words have to do with my doing too much research about Princess Diana. So the words were not right, but the image flash was right. Usually, it's the pictures, but I don't always know what it means.
Anyway, I don't do tarot or anything. I pray a quick prayer, to God, first sometimes, but most of the time, I get the image or picture flash, in the mind's eye, randomly and then I find out it means something for someone.
When I write my "images" though...That doesn't mean those are inspired visions or anything. I can't claim they mean anything to me or anyone. Sometimes I am just writing creatively. But it is TRUE, that I do see things about other people quite often.
I want to sort of see if it can be harnessed at all.
Like Ne-Yo's "Closer"...this one is really fun to sing along to. Love the rhythm and the chorus especially. Oh, I really like this one, right from the very beginning: "Co Star" by Day26. Right from the yeyh, yeyh, yeyh.
I went home and then he called me the next morning and told me not to believe I was bad luck. He said he'd received a job interview for something he wants, last night when we were out and said I was good luck. One of his family members has an illness that is fairly serious so he asked me to pray for them and I said I would.
Before we got back, we passed The Department of Energy and I told him I was going to go in, (I imagined, in purple flowing robes) and apply for a job to practicar energie, and bring cards of chakras or something and see what they say. I want someone to seriously walk in and ask if they are hiring psychics or if they need someone to develop their energy powers.
With my ex, he had never once told me he was in a fight or anything. And I found out, afterall, that he'd never been in the military, so there was no reason for me to see this. What I saw, was his hands straight up in the air and someone in front of him, pointing a gun directly at him. He said this happened only once in life, that he and his friend were in Colombia and accidentally got onto a zone in the forest that they didn't know was territorial. So this guy came out and told them to get out of the jeep with their hands up. So he got out of the jeep with his hands straight up and stood before him, and the guy had a gun pointed right at him, and then after they explained they didn't know it was some kind of zone, the guy let them go.
Weird though, huh! The first person to say "I don't know what you have, but it's weird" was my high school boyfriend Robin Bechtold. I saw things about him and had dreams and knew where he was and predicted some things and he said he didn't know if it was ESP or what, but it was "weird". This was the first time I noticed this. Only one time, before that, when I was a little girl, I told my mother and an officer who had pulled my mother over, when he was giving my mother a ticket, she burst into tears. She was explaining to the officer they were paying bills for my broken arm and that my arm was paralyzed and I might need a mechanical arm and I said, "No, my arm is going to be healed. I feel it tingling right now." So then we went to the next Dr.'s appointment and it was completely healed, and there was no evidence of any injury at all. The Dr. kept saying this was impossible, and that he'd never seen anything like this before. He said, "I don't know how this happened" and I had full mobility and nothing showed up on X-ray or other radiology and I said, "I do--Jesus healed me!" and I remember the Dr. did this, "Ahem! cough,cough, yes, well, er, anyway..."
My mother and whole family like to bring this up to me all the time: "remember the time when you said your arm was healed and it was?" to try to remind me about miracles.
I don't put miracles above medicine though. If there's going to be a miracle, it's going to happen, and it has nothing to do with you really. That's what I think.
I guess the only other thing was when I knew this woman in my prayer group, who was a Dr., Dr. Dee, was healed. She had been extremely ill and had weird blood tests and no one could figure out what was wrong. We were praying and I looked up and said, "You're not going to be sick anymore. Your next tests are going to be normal." Everyone stared at me and said how did I know and she went in the next coupole of days and came back and everything was totally normal. But that was something I just "knew" and it had nothing to do with how hard I prayed or how much faith I had. I just knew it was going to happen, but it didn't have anything to do with me.
Those are some of my "psychic" experiences. There are more. Sometime, I'll try to write all of them down. Another one was not too long ago, regarding a missing person, and I saw where she was, and what she had been wearing. I reported it and found out I was right and she'd wandered off with post partum depression and was found in a spot I had correctly seen. I saw her name, last name, and I knew she was a missing person. I then saw, while awake, an image of where she was. They found her about one day after I saw this.
I think some people didn't believe me, but I called the police to find out if what I had seen was true, some of my descriptions which were not made public.
I used to think I wanted to meet Noreen Renier, who is used by police and intelligence sometimes, to see things. I don't know what I think about her. I wrote once, but there are probably a ton of frauds. Another time, in D.C., I said I would guess something by holding a set of keys and i didn't know who they belonged to. They were actually supposed to be one guy's set of keys and I told him I saw diamonds and he was shocked and said it had something to do but not with him necessarily. There were no fancy keys or car keys there. I also saw something else that was right but I don't remember what.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clairvoyance
I like this song by Jay Sean "Come With Me."
All that to say, last night, after I was home, I had a very, very, long and detailed dream about my son and he wasn't happy. He was coping and trying to appear happy to placate others because he was worried someone else would leave him. I dreamed he was with all these different people who were trying to make him happy and lauhg, and he wanting me. I saw my son in distress and it was the longest dream I've had in a long time. I woke up my ex (who I, hahah! share a bed with but don't have sex with anymore) and told him about my dream and said I knew I had to leave as soon as possible, to see my son. I couldn't put it off.
I asked him if there was any way to maybe help with a ticket still, to get to Wenatchee and back, to visit my son at least and then come back to the D.C. area to finish up some medical stuff here that I already have in the works.
I think I'll put this in a different post.
Since I'm putting this in another post, I want to add to a couple of things about my date. GET THIS. I didn't even think to ask or notice or look, but I went out with him, and then as we left the restaurant, I suddenly asked, when I was saying how I was directionally challenged and I noticed he had no problem...I said, "Um, this might sound strange, but could I ask...are you right-handed or left-handed?"
GUESS WHAT HE SAID????????????!!!!!!!!! This has to be some kind of cosmic leftie dating phenomenon.
HE IS A FUCKING LEFTIE. What are the ODDS?! I said to him, this is so weird. I told him, I don't know if I've ever heard of anything like before...but I would say, of the men I've even just dated, NINE out of TEN are LEFTIES. And, I added, as if he didn't already know, "...and lefties are NOT that common in the population, AND my SON is a leftie--well, he sucks only his left thumb so I think he's probably going to be a leftie." I couldn't believe it. I kept saying, "Really?"
Oh, and he said he's Catholic and went to a Jesuit school. So there's another Catholic notch in my chastity belt. lol. We just kissed. I felt sort of weird about that, even, because I would like to get know him better. Then again, I joked, if I could, I'd just have sex all day. "Think I could get a job?" I said. hahaha. I was totally kidding. Maybe I said, "I want a job" and was referring to sex. There were some Irish eyes behind us at the bar, I know my Irish! one said, laughing, "I'll be saying a hail mary for you tonight brother." lol.
But I'm sort of conservative still. Seriously. I want to make friends right now, in my life, and who doesn't like the other stuff, but I really want to make some solid and sure friendships. I want to be a giver too, in my friendships. I've done everything all alone for so long because I didn't want to drag anyone, not even my most loyal friends, into my messes, but I am enjoying the company of others to just joke around and hang out.
Hahaaha. I loved what he told me about what he did on election night. Makes me smile. We watched Pineapple Express, which was hilarious, and I'll have to see it again because I missed a lot I was sort of tired. My favorite part, was the foot out of the window with the slushy mess all over the windshield. Sooo stupid and hilarious. I loved seeing that foot and Rosie Perez's expressions and the other black woman cop. lol. Ohmigosh, and the part in the beginning where the guy, the drug dealer, is describing the cush and how the air mixes from one country to the other...I was laughing because this was JUST like the first serious potheads I met, who had posters and magazines all over their house. The ones I first smoked with, whose mouths dropped when they saw me flinching away from the flame. saying, "You're a VIRGIN. I haven't seen a virgin since jr. high." (he meant virgin to smoking pot). Oh, and I cracked up at the part where the dealer asks the other guy (I love that actor, he's one of my favorites) if he should pull the plug. I wasn't even watching the screen and I knew...I said, "Is he talking about grandma?" bc I could just imagine the scene and my date said yes. I have to see this later.
lol. I like this "Dope Fiend" song by Johnta Austin. Funny. The last one was about dope too and cracked me up.
You know who my date reminded me of? He actually reminded me a lot of Chris. I looked at him and thought he looked a lot like Chris, with similiar teeth and some similiar mannerisms. The one thing though, is that after he said he was a lefty, I thought he seemed to use his right hand more often than the left.
He asked me why I didn't want to go forward into a relationship and I told him I didn't know. He said did I feel guilty, about my ex. I said no. He said what about the father before. I had started bleeding again for the first time in several days so I was depressed about that.
One thing I noticed, which was strange, was that when we went to the restaurant, in the waiting area, a group of younger guys were absolutely GLARING at me, in their 20s, and then my date turned around after I'd passed and spoke with them. Sort of like he knew them, but I wouldn't know why he would.
At any rate, he told me I should call this guy, Chris, and go back to him. I said that wasn't possible. He said why not and I said he'd been dishonest and was a swinger and was with others when he was lying to me. I told him I did think I loved him, but I wasn't going to be with a swinger and when he'd lied to me about things. I told him I HAD been very concerned for him and hoped he wasn't killing himself by drinking or doing other drugs. When my date asked if he was doing drugs, I started to say yes I thought so, and because there was blood all over the pillow and then he quieted me right away like he didn't want me to finish what I was saying. I told him I hated him (but didn't go into the whole weirdness about how he knew all these things about me and was saying he was "another one in the hole") but then I worried about him, and that I didn't want to be with him but just wanted to know he was okay and recovering in rehab or something. If I knew he was alright, I said that would be fine. What is also a little strange, is my date asked me if my parents would mind if I married a man with a lot of tatoos and who had killed people?
Which made me wonder a little, because Chris tiold me he'd done some "very, very, bad things." ? Everyone knew what he did on a daily basis and that looked bad enough. What was in the frickin' closet? maybe dead bodies. maybe he WAS a sniper. One of the federal guys connected to Steve Blum, who was military, told me he knew of a guy who was a sniper in Israel and elsewhere and the pizza place he liked kept getting blown up. I don't think there's a connection. But I wondered about those guys, because both he and Steve were looking very excited when I was begtinning to write about knowing who this "cyrano" was and the messages I was getting.
My date said I should call this guy and spell it out for him. I said, "Spell out what?" I said, I already left a message to see if he was okay and I called him when I was miscarrying in the hospital, and he didn't even call me back. All that I went through, with the miscarriage and stuff, he never once called, after claiming he wanted to go to all the prenatal appointments and telling me he wanted to be a part of things. ?!
So I told my date, you can't control what happens with your heart, but people can get over things. So I went home, to my ex. Ha! What a weird situation. But anyway, I said I wasn't a swinger and at the end, when my date left he said I should go to him. I said if he'd wanted to make contact he would have called to at least let me know he was okay, or to check on me. I said sometimes you care about someone but it's not possible to be with them (I didn't tell him about the FBI shit and all the other crap he put me through and how the FBI had to have known all along).
I took a hard look at that other guy yesterday and thought he looked very familiar, but if it was Will W., the other guy, he would have said something to me. He would have recognized me because I look the same, and he'd have said something. If the other one was Will, he'd have said, what the hell are you writing about me for? I believe what I know already. Chris was involved with the FBI or something, because Steve Blum and his military buddies knew him and thought I was catching on, because they all came storming into the Starbucks when I started writing about figuring things out. And everyone knew what cyrano meant.
I will just have to go back to the yearbooks and other photos of him.
I think it's weird the funeral home director didn't want me to do a DNA test of the fetus and never called me for a month until I started writing about how I knew who he was.
The FBI is seriously screwed, in my opinion.
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