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society's child

never was society's child
never said "i can't see you no more"
i said, "fuck you fbi, cia, dod, & company"
i go for my own kind, the freethinkers who free babies
and take chains off the heels of the weak
who think and believe just the same
same brass, same courage but yet we're just not swinging
from the same fucking trees
you cut yours down in their prime
telling them they need to let the others grow and reach
their full height
i tell my trees to grow and fight and i let nature decide
whether they will share the space, water, and air
or not, whether they will become unified at the root
having to grow so closely together
i am not afraid of the scrawny upstart
or the weathered queen
of the man holding the books and telling me who the
"decider" is. i am the fucking queen and the white trash
royalty. i am the one who decides for me, put to the
test by lies and cruelty
i am the one who bites and scratches with her claws
at those who challenge my innocence
those who used their experience to advantage over me
but telling my lovers i am not clean
i am the one who wipes the tears from the
dirt creasing my cheeks
i am the one who fights for her baby
whom the others should be paying me billions for taking
wrongly, in the first place
i am she. i am the worst of your fears.
never faithful to me, i was the one who stood above
all of you, in purity, and you pulled me down
to drag me through the mud
i still stand above you, even sullied
because my innocence is beneath the surface
not on the cuffs where your red ink bleeds
onto paper and into my life
deciding everything
i never needed anyone to be my fucking matchmaker
or scout of my talents
because i have always known my worth
which is why i've been willing to fight to clear my name

for shame. shame on you in your three piece suit
in your jeans and converse and your dungarees
shame on you for telling me to fly with new wings
as you take them in hand and try to force me
after breaking me down through all of your
false words, false friends, false promises,
and beliefs that you could catch me but you, you are all
the "can't catch me" killers
gunning down a shining beam in your streets
because she hit the mark clean

fuck you who try to manipulate me with your words
your music, trying to infiltrate my dreams
with lies. stealing my ideas, once again, and not willing
to give me the credit for her briliant strategies
you fucking sleep on my green leafy laurels
and beg me not to uncover your nakedness as you sleep
after raping me
for being the one you could never be
for being the one your own mother could never be
for being above and beyond your girlfriends, lovers, and wives
telling me to jump without a parachute
jump blind
when you were never willing to apologize to me
blind.
not knowing where an apology could take you.
not knowing if it might land one of you in jail or worse
in a fucking lawsuit
cowards and afraid to look at your own reflections in the mirror
you put a collar on those who might dare to love me
of their own accord
who might learn something from me that you will never be able to
teach, not with your vast acquisitions of power and money
not with your combined knowledge, not with anything

i am drinking vodka with ice
telling someone else "who should we trust here? YOU or ME?"
i am telling him
"I own the fucking BUSINESS"
i am telling him
"I guess you just can't HANDLE an American girl"
i am spinning my inheritance into golden strings for my own
guitar, my own life, my own music, while you spin
stories and fabric for the king without any underpants

i turned a new leaf when i found aphids on the corner
telling me to jump naked into the concrete pavement
promising to throw out a net
after you let me fall one too many times when i believed
in all the "safety nets" and trust games
and found they were not only lacking, but that all my bones
were broken and i am still bleeding
and you? for all your talk, are still unwilling to
compensate me

you "can't see (me) no more"
because you could never see to begin with
because your glasses are so thick a little steam paralyzes your feet
because your ruling stick comes alive at night
harry potter
and smacks you on the head until you agree
teaching you a thing or two--not to listen to the street talk
in the style from which your own mother preached
meanwhile, you holy three
sitting on golden eggs to force something back
hoping if you sit down long enough you may loosen up enough
to absorb the thing they say will make you shine
from the inside out

some have their whores and others have their nikkis
some woman is always willing to lie down on her back and take it
it's just too bad she is thinking about everything
except you and where she'd rather be
putting your cigarette butts from the planter into the trash
chewing on the leaves
receiving an A+ for punctuality and getting the owners
permission to pee

i'm tired of your fucking games
you fucking listen to me
you fucking get on your own two feet
you stand up and fight for me
you come after me
you take what you want and don't stand by the steam
waiting for your little huckleberry raft or yaht to come in
to rescue you--for your advisors to throw you a bone
i am single for one reason:

BECAUSE I COULD NEVER FIND A FUCKING MAN

who could fucking handle ME

take your silver spoon, your red pen, and all your
stupid yellow tape, along with that fucking measuring tape
and stop measuring me by the size of my breasts
look a little lower, because if you haven't noticed
like the nigerians before you, i've got
"balls for a white girl"
guess that's not going to fly with YOUR granny
nor will it take you to tiffany's moonriver
but it keeps me head and shoulders above
the mindless debutantes, the would-be steinems
who can't see the forest for the tree
for the seedling for the rain

you don't need to just see me throw a little bit
of fucking salt over my shoulder
you need me, to cover your entire army with a
saltshaker and maybe some cayenne pepper

get down on your fucking knees and bow to ME
for telling YOU what you NEED
for daring to tell you, you have not ever seen the likes of me
and no one else is going to do it for you
your shrink will agree
smirking, and wishing he had one hour to spend
at the end of my fucking leash

nice game, but i'm done
when you've grown up a little bit, give me a ring
harry
give me a fucking ring and keep your mother out of it
tell your father you're sorry
and be ready to do something about all the
twerps who think they know better

cry me a river baby. cry me a fucking river.
when you decide you might want to try something different
i want to know you know what it means to be
"free"
as you're trying to throw your voodoo shit from
behind a screen. show me the fucking money
you corporate giant
goliath king of the apes
show me your fucking patriot stripes before you try
to choke me of my own free will and life
lying and bedding me
hoping to take out the fire
hoping...just hoping...and praying
and using my fucking brilliant ideas to make up for your
fucking...

lack...

of...

speed...

you are in MY fucking kenny loggins "danger zone"
i have evolved from the homecoming queen
sitting at the edge of the bed waiting for you to come home
into the worst stream of consciousness you've ever seen

oh, that's right, mamma's boy
forgot you can't see, shooter
look who's fucking sizing you up now cage fighter
you wanted to see if i could still see
you in the cut of mirror
from the corner of my eye
did i prove you right, or did i just prove i have
something you are afraid of
something you wish you had to save you in the middle of the night
******************************

now, i will tell you what i see...
whether it rhymes or not.

a black shadow man on a paper screen
trying to beat your last score
still feeling the nails down your back
blowing air into a hot air balloon
the shape of a blue cloud
holding onto the string
like a man to the kite
a man who wants to leave, but will never leave
candyland
artesian wells and streams
***************************************************

that's all folks! bunny done with the carrot stick routine. sweet dreams baby. sweet, fucking, smothered, dreams.