Music Today & Weed & Meds

listened to "The Killers" radio last night and fell asleep to a wide varity of British boy bands. All alternative and pretty interesting. A lot of revolutionary idea bands. "Middle of Nowhere" by HOT HOT Heat is good. I like them--they're Canadian and the guy has a good voice and good lyrics. A lot of the groups I liked, they were all Scottish or English and they were newer and smaller upstarts. Some very good promise. I popped an eye open to Arctic Monkey's again. I found some of the groups more interesting than a more, it seems, mainstream group, "Oasis".

I just quit writing and listened to music and then would pop open an eye when something stood out to me.

There's nothing going on, but my ex brought up marriage again. I was describing things regarding my son and how it doesn't look good, and I have absolutely no money. I mean, nothing. I have my back appointment today.

I want to see this other person who was recommended that's supposed to be world renowned as well. I'm sure I'll have to go more than once. I still need a couple of diagnostics for some other things.

I like Kook's "Match Box". I kept peeping when they were playing. They're good. I also heard a couple of sort of punk songs which were really good but I was just taking it in. "Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt" by We Are Scientists. I like the very direct and frank invitation there. Some of the music last night was just a trip.

Well, and it was gorgeous, coming into my subconcious. I felt like I was learning and picking up on some lessons. I smoked a tiny, tiny, bit of weed last and it's the second time I've listened to music after smoking. I wasn't high, at all, but I kept seeing this face coming into focus and then out and then in like I was being spoken to personally. I know, sounds nuts.

I have not smoked one bit of weed for at least one month but then last night I was getting a migraine. I could see my drooping eye thing and my ex noticed I really was in pain. I think he realized my migraines are very real and true. I hadn't done anything for prevention this month, and it just started coming on and the whole left side of my head was hurting. I was pushing really hard, on things, on my head and cracking my neck, and massaging my jaw (TMJ), and he told me to turn around and he massaged it. It was actually very nice, he didn't attempt anything more. He fully was sports medicine doctor at that moment and then helped me put my pajamas on. I've been like an invalid, really, half of the time. It was really nice that he did this, because I was in a lot of pain. Then I remembered I had a bud of weed that was about as large as half of a jelly bean. I rolled it and it was mainly paper but I smoked half of the joint because I'm telling you, it was totally thin and all paper and no weed. There was enough to, hmmm...crumbled up it was about as much as ? just a tiny bit. Anyway, I was really worried because I'd taken the Percocet for my back, and it wasn't helping my head at ALL. So I thought it was too late for any marijuana to help my migraine, because I hadn't kept up, with trying to prevent. But then I laid down, and I felt a slight crackling sensation in my head and then the migraine completely went away. I have nothing at all this morning.

My ex said couldn't I take marijuana for my back? but no, it doesn't help me at all for this pain and I've tried. In the hospital I guess was the last time I tried.

For me, weed doesn't help my back or any of the herniated disc or broken bone pain, at all. I guess it helps some people for pain but not me. It really just does something to the pituitary gland I think, which is affected during migraine. Okay, get this...Usually, smoking weed MAKES you hungry right? Well last night, I had that very hungry feeling I get when I'm getting a migraine, and cold fingers and everything and this is a common pre-whatever migraineurs get. Well, instead of getting hungrier, the hunger sensation completely went away. It's like it just took care of that horomone gland or the part of the brain that is affected by the migraine process. My ex said, "I think you get crazy on Valium." Or, he was trying to say, in Spanish, I was disagreeable and Sllllooow. I told him, I agree it makes me slower, but that was because I was having to take Valium or the Flexeril and it did NOT help the pain at all. It was the pain that makes me bitchy. Period. When I did not have the Percocet and I was suffering and Advil and Valium and the other stuff does NOT take care of the pain issues I have right now from the discs. Valium doesn't really help me except, for example, last night I still had back pain and couldn't sleep bc of it but didn't want to take Percocet so I took a Valium and it relaxed things enough so I slept and I feel fine this morning. I think it's good for pain at night, as a light muscle relaxant, but I wouldn't use it doing the day.

Oh, The Bravery is a band I popped my eyes open to last night. Impressive. Also, another song--I remember this one from last night and it's so James Bond from the 60s--so cigarette smoke and wallets and shadows in the corridor. Last Shadow Puppets "My Mistakes Were Made for You". A lot of this is considered to be, I guess, british indie rock, british alternative, a little pop... I like The Cribs "Major's Titling Victory" I like his guttural punctuation, "Ah!" not at the end, but the short one, in the middle. i heard some good lyrics, very good songwriting last night. I heard this one that was delicate, and english and about being in a plane looking down and the sky and it was really...i don't know...poetic and visionary. I like Keane as a band as well.

Well, I am getting ready now, for my doctor's appointment. I will write more later, but I'm meeting people today too (i think) so we'll see.