Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Another Nickname: Squirlee

My other nickname was "Squirlee" or "Squirely".  I was called "Squirley" and described as being "Squirley" all the time, which, as a kid, I understood to mean "restless" and active.

I'm just still wondering about the Edward Lee Howard thing. 

It's not like I have to be friends with his son or even talk to him or anything if I'm related, but supposedly I am and yet I'm still marking boxes for European ancestry and not including "Mexican" because it seems weird all of a sudden.  It would only be a fraction but still. 

It makes me wonder if this is why I was raised with a bunch of half-Mexican cousins. 

I also remember eating lima beans all the time as a kid and a discussion over how "Lima beans are GOOD for you."  I didn't like lima beans.  They were large green lima beans and we had them all the time.  I remember my mother specifically making a big deal about how terrible to not like lima beans and eat them anyway.    Edward Lee Howard was sent to Lima, Peru by the CIA at one point.  It was this green lima bean, carrot, and green peas mixture we had all the time and I always picked out the lima beans and set them aside.

I sometimes wonder if one of the parents, Bob or Dicksie, one of the twins is more related biologically to Kate Middleton than me.  Either one of them developed an attachment to Katie and wanted her to get ahead so they stole my homework and other things happened to me, or they were all hostages to the CIA and Army orders to do this to me out of revenge and to spite Edward Howard for "defecting".

All kinds of things were done after Edward Lee Howard was pronounced "dead", along with my Grandpa Garrett. I think John Kaempf worked for the FBI and not just a law firm.  Which is really interesting given the kinds of things they did to me and my son.  I mention him now though, because I remember the shocked silence in the courtroom when I asked for a Continuance to a hearing due to a "death in the family".

They all looked horrified and like egg-shell smashers.  I thought, "Boy, that really got to them.  For some reason, they are all acting guiltier than Sin Itself".  Well, I had been thinking of my Grandpa Garrett, but they? were thinking "Does she know Edward Howard is her Dad?"  I saw it, plain as day on John Kaempf's face and for some things, my memory doesn't fade and is picture-perfect, and framed forever.  I have a photographic memory, rarely, and it sticks with me so I can think back to the photo album, and flip back and find what I'm looking for and compare it with more recent information and make sense of it.

I remember his exact expression when he was looking at an enormous bruise on one of my calves and I remember the day, the steps to the courthouse, when he saw it, when I caught him looking, what I was wearing, what he was wearing and carrying, and people in the courthouse including the guard.  I remember his exact expression the day I left the courthouse of corrupt Judge Lipscomb, with a box full of files and the angle, how he was turned and the look on his face.

That's just to say, I click it, keep it, and where it's stored I can flip back to it and compare it with new information and find how it fits.  So the past is 100% relevant to the present and to my future.  This is why I am able to realize new things and make new discoveries, because I don't forget the past, at least not all of it.  The U.S. tortured me and drugged me because they know it's true.

So I remember how they all froze, like ice statues the day I said there had been a death in the family.  When John Kaempf concurred with the FBI I had no idea I was related to Edward Howard and was only referring to Robert Garrett Sr., my grandfather, he made fun of it to Judge Janis Wilson and she knew too, because she was also working for the FBI, lesbo-equal-opportunity-slot-filled.

The FBI is responsible for the demise of my lawsuits which is a big reason they slandered me and encouraged other cops to slander me in internal records.  They deliberately incited hate crimes against me.

John said to Judge Wilson, "Ms. GARRETT had us believe someone in her FAMILY had died, but she was only referring to her GRANDFATHER" and then he smirked at Judge Wilson and she got a mean smile at the corner of her mouth.  Thank you John, she thought.  They thought it was great to not have me know who I was related to and that he'd just been murdered.

After he was dead, the FBI was pushing my Mom and Dad, Bob and Dicksie, to have nothing to do with me anymore through Barbara and Tom Greenman (FBI employees).  The more people the FBI killed, to keep me from knowing the truth, the better it was for them.

I was told to keep my mouth shut about all of this:  the FBI, the military, the U.S. Army and who was connected to who until Kate Middleton had managed to get inseminated publicly.  Then, no one cared.  Their mission, grotesque as it is, was accomplished.  What a sad "mission".

They tried to murder me over it repeatedly.

I wasn't even "friends" with the FBI-connected Canadian adoptee Mike Nichols.  He just said he'd go with us to Nashville and then he hijacked my car.  I had never gone out with him, talked with him over the phone, or emailed or talked to him more than 2 minutes prior to the day he said he wanted to go on the trip.  The idea that he wanted to "marry" me was a lie to make it sound it was impossible he was attempting to murder me.  He never mentioned anything of the sort and had no basis for it--not knowing me at all, not even enough to be friends.  I remember everything about what happened and how he looked before he rolled my car, after over a half hour of my asking him to stop and let me drive my own car.

How many different ways did I ask and then demand he stop and pull my car over?  MY CAR.  Robin Bechtold was part of the CIA because there was no other way he got information, unless through the FBI, about how I was abused in MKUltra and what triggers to try to use on me.  Canada was already inciting hate crimes against me from Quebec.  I didn't think Canada hated Edward Howard, but maybe some of them did.  It was a publication from P.E. Islands, near Ontario, Toronto that the publication was printed and that was the same area Kate Middleton's grandfather worked for them training pilots.  So why kill and rape me?  Because Edward Howard had dirt on Mike Middleton and the governments?

Someone let him into B.C. to at least fly over to SLC, Utah to see a family member once but it was only once. 

Maybe people were holding me back, and oppressing me, but keeping a kind of secret until he died and then they figured they could go all out and try to have me kill myself by torture painful enough most people would do it.  They'd have me die, no problem, following after Howard.  Get rid of anyone that might find out and who was figuring out something was leading to the federal government and religious hate crimes.  Someone might have worried, prior to his murder, that he would expose them and know who it was.  Maybe they thought once he was dead, he couldn't give me any information and neither would Robert Guy Garrett Sr.

My mother was always saying "Don't be weird" to me around the time Edward Lee Howard was making a point to call himself "Weird".  She said it ALL the time.  No one wanted to be "weird" but ELH was calling himself "weird" and making it a point in official documents.  Why, unless he wanted someone like me to connect that to him later?  At the time my mother was always telling me not to be weird, was when I had asked her what her favorite age of kids was and she said 9 or 10 when they were still sweet. 

Oh yeah, and Edward Lee Howard's full name is Edward Lee Victor Howard.  My middle name Loree means "Victory". 

Maybe Katie Middleton's real name is Makayla Garrett.

Things got very bad for me the day she was born.  Wasn't it the 9th or something?  That event occurred one year before the CIA accused Edward Lee Victor Howard of "defecting".

My life was a living hell when I was a toddler and I was trafficked between Canada and the U.S. until I was 8 years old, which was when Kate Middleton was born.  Then our trips stopped, aside from maybe one trip later.  Almost all of the annual vacations to Canada were prior to age 8 for me.  Then the secret "vacations" ended and it was a domestic attempt to dumb me down, have me throwing up and sick, and punish and torture me.  I was never given normal opportunities because the U.S. was wrecking havoc with my life.

The U.S. used my brother, Lee-Vi (conjunction of Lee and Victory) for MKUltra experiments from the time he was born as well.  The only photos of him show him with cross-eyes which is something incurred by hypnosis and torture techniques the CIA and Army used on babies then and which I witnessed them do to my son when they tore him out of my arms. 

I remember one time being threatened with being thrown off of a high cliff by the ocean.  Physically, I was put on the edge.  I was a kid or preteen actually and the only people there were the Sandbergs and my parents.  I remember several times when someone was joking, and that was all it was...just joking and sort of scaring me while holding me to make sure I didn't fall.  One time, it wasn't a joke and I recognized when I looked back at others farther from the cliff, that one of them was worried as well and knew it wasn't a joke.  It was serious. 

What would have happened if I had gone over the cliff?  "She fell"? We were all hiking and she fell.  Only my parents and the Sandbergs were there to witness it if it had happened.  

As a kid or preteen, I knew and sensed it.  It wasn't a joke.  The other times, had been teasing, but that time, was not a joke and I was held there, at the edge of the cliff with a steep drop to sharp rocks and the ocean below.

I guess if I was Edward Lee Victor Howard's kid, that would have been a nice thing to do to one of his kids while he was "defecting" in Russia.  I don't remember having any vacations or hikes with the Sandbergs after that, until years later, the campout where I was excluded from the camp and left to go walk around in the dark by myself.

I think someone had others trying to encourage me and plant ideas for me to set a fire just for the purpose of finding another excuse to get rid of me and let the U.S. government have what appeared to be a more "official" kind of control over me.  In juvie, if I'd gone there, they could force me into all kinds of agreements or discredit me.

Later, they did this in Wenatchee, after I reported FBI misconduct, by lying and claiming I had assaulted my grandmother which I didn't do.  I was being pressured to implicate myself and admit guilt when I wasn't guilty, by a huge number of people.

These people had a motive to discredit me and my testimony and they already had plans to kidnap my son from me.

If one of the Bob's or Dicksie's is biologically related to Kate Middleton, through sperm or egg donation, or family, it would be motive to work against me.  If not, it is the work of others who control both of the Bob and Dicksies and since at least one of the Dicksies and her mother confirmed I'm Edward Lee Victor Howard's biological daughter, it is a motive for U.S. hate crimes.

Which is why the FBI refused to take my report of hate crimes, because they were involved in the revenge and took it out on an innocent child.

I remember reading an article, inadvertently, about a woman in South America who had a famous father and then she found out she had been adopted into their house after they killed her biological parents. 

Maybe next time I go to the liquor store I'll ask if you can still buy a keg.

I watched this and now I know why my mother was crying when Kyle Flick approached me.  He looked like some of the footage of Edward Howard here in this documentary.


I also noticed it states the "deception" the CIA detected or felt they had detected by Edward Lee Victor Howard, was never revealed.  Maybe it was that he had a kid, me, but the CIA would know about that.  The FBI might not have until later.

Also, there is a Canada connection to all of it, with Yurchenko having an affair in Canada with a person of prominence, and in addition to that the "Lead Investigator" in the case against Howard was a man named "Phil Parker".  I was approached by Bryan Parker in high school to go to dances, and no one told me of the possible connection.  Bryan Parker also potentially showed up at my parent's house and terrorized them because our dog hated his guts.  I couldn't figure out why Topper got so vicious over him but he did.  Parker was one who later tried to spread a bunch of malicious lies about me, whether they came from Jews or not, or Robin Bechtold or not.  My high school classmates were literally working for the government and being encouraged to rape me to spite Howard.  That takes longer to explain but it's worked out in one of my other posts for those who can't imagine what kind of logical leap I made.

One of the memories I recently had, when I was tracing out the scars on my arms from being cut, was that once it was one of the Dicksies.  I doubted it later though, and wondered if it was really a true memory.  It was of one of them, telling me to hold out my hand or wrist and making a small incision into my forearm when I was older and I was shocked and scared and it's all I remember.  I don't know if it was a 'reminder' cut or what, because it wasn't done to me regularly as an older or school aged child.  If it wasn't my mother or one of the Dicksies actually, it was a woman that looked like her but I remember being afraid because it was my mother.  However, now, I cannot ever imagine any of the Dicksies doing this at all.  I saw cuts on their own legs from shaving but nothing else I remember.  It was a blond woman and I was being punished for something and told to hold out my hand and had a cut made.  The look on the face wasn't nice--it wasn't like they had to do something, it was a mean and sort of laughing look.  I really can't imagine it was my Mom and it came to me while I was tracing my scars and I thought, maybe it's a false memory.  I wasn't trying to have it though, but it is the only memory I've doubted just because it's so out there and tenuous.  The other thing is, I don't remember what was used, not a large knife.  Something very small.  If it was a true memory I was standing and then I don't remember what happened after I was cut.  I feel like I would pass out if it happened now.  I remember it being on my right forearm or wrist.  Possibly it was left but my memory of that specific time was lower forearm, and right.

It's possible, if true, it was a way to punish me then for something in accordance to MKUltra control and how to program kids, or it was a way to have me remember possibly one thing and connect it later for my own sake (?), or it was a form of punishment on me to retaliate against someone who cared about me.  Most of the marks look more like subjective marks made by government, but this one memory was of someone looking sort of mean but sadistic or smiling at the same time when they did it.

My mother's last cell phone was a Razor.  Now she has a Smart phone.  I know she didn't like getting rid of her Razor.  If it wasn't my mother, the only women sort of resembling her might be Ruthie Ames or someone.

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