Pages Torn Out Of My Diary

I had pages torn out of my diary that I began when I was 13.

I also had someone break into the lock for it, which only I had the key to.  I kept it under my bed, or mattress, so whoever was so insistent on reading my diary when I was only 13 years old, did so at my house, and broke the lock to it.

It wasn't necessarily my Mom or Dad because they left the house door open regularly during the day.  The neighbors were the Mormon spies, and the two U.S. Army families on either side.

The pages that were torn out however, were torn out by me, not by someone else.  I tore them out myself.  No one tore pages out of my diary for me, I did.

The reason I did, is because I wrote things like I hated my mother and what I was upset about over my Dad, but most of it about my Mom.  So I felt bad later, and tore all of those pages out.  I actually never wrote I hated them, I wrote once that my mother was a bitch.   I never swore but I think one time I wrote this, and only one time in my life actually, but otherwise I described why I was upset or what had happened.

I TORE THEM OUT.  It was ME.  No one went in after me, and started tearing out pages after I wrote diary entries.  I expressed myself in my diary and someone was reading it and they were breaking into the lock, and then I felt bad whenever I read those entries about what things my Mom or Dad were doing and I tore them out.  I didn't tear out parts about Stephanie Maiers, which had nothing to do with disliking her but wondering how she was coming up with ideas to buy whatever I said I liked myself and then wear it herself.  It is most likely her parents had access to that diary. 

I know someone was giving the information to the Maiers family or that they got it themselves, because of the actions taken by them after I wrote a few things in my diary about how it bothered me. So since someone knew it bothered me, they did it more.  Not just a little, to an extreme.  This would mean, that while I was a young teenager, even though it seemed we were friends, there was something else going on that was not friendly.  A quiet, passive-aggressive streak somewhere of wanting to rub in anything that someone thought "bothered" me. 

Friends don't do that.  And how were they getting access to the information in my teenage diary to start with?

That one diary covered information from age 13-age 15.  I didn't write in it all the time.  I increased my writing length and habit as time went by.  In that diary was the information about what bothered me and also information about driving off the road into a ditch covered with snow with Barbara Maiers at the wheel, shouting to put our clothes on.

Then someone was forcing me into a ditch was in 1991-1992 in Sherwood, Oregon.

Mike Nichols hijacked my car and drove it into a ditch again in 1995, in Nevada.

That is 3 different times, in a row, of being driven or forced into the exact same kind of ditch.  All of the people trying to assassinate me are connected to each other and to the Department of Justice and U.S. Army.

I wanted to be clear about how pages were torn out of my diaries, some parts and I know exactly what parts, and what parts remained.  I tore them out, but someone had been reading them first and passing on information.

I accused my mother one day, and she yelled that she was my mother and as long as I lived in their house she had a right to.  However, it may not have been my mother and was something others forced her to say.  How would the Maiers get that information?

By the time they were taking vacations internationally, and I was getting post cards from Stephanie, she or someone responsible for her, was already putting into practice what I said "bothered" me and taking it to an extreme.  I got post cards from England, Switzerland, Belgium, and a variety of places.  You know, a postcard with a picture on one side and on the other side a line down the middle and place to write.

In my diary I had pasted photos inside of my diary onto some of the pages, along with writing.  Some of the photos were of Stephanie, one of her blowing a huge bubblegum bubble.

I wonder why everyone tells me to get my son gum.

So she was acting like my friend all that time, since I was 13, and yet this other underlying animosity was there all along.  From the Maiers??!
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Later, the other confusing part has been, in 2005, with Barbara Greenman (FBI) pushing my mother to say this to me, and Patty Otterbach as well (both names were mentioned but I remember Greenman the most), my mother said she didn't love me anymore and emailed this to me saying there was no point to even a general relationship at all. 

Basically, she was telling me, if she and my Dad split and were separated, there was no point to her being my mother.  This was a really out-there thing to say and all I know is other women connected to Department of Justice and Jews were involved. 

So then when I had my son, in 2006, my mother told me over the phone and by email that that was "My Family" and I had my family and they (she and her relatives, the Bairds; and she and reunited Bob) were HER family.  I was totally shocked.  I said, "What do you mean?" and she said she didn't consider me to be part of her family, and the Baird family, and she said she and my Dad had their own family too.  She said "Your family is Oliver--Levi and Carmen have their own family, and Dad and I have our own family."  I said, "But you also said I wasn't part of your relatives family" and she said, "That's right."  I said, "How can you be part of the Baird family, as their daughter, when you married your 'own family' as you say, Dad?"

She was telling me she was part of the Baird family, and she and my Dad were a family.  I was not included. 

Her whole logic didn't make sense.  She was saying since I had my own son, that was my family.  I had moved out of my parent's house and had my own son, and that was my family. I was being told I had no other family and that was it.

But on the other hand, she was saying she had moved out of her parent's house, and married my Dad and had kids and as long as they lived in the house that was "her family" and then she also claimed even though she left her parent's house (the Bairds) they and her sisters and brother were all her family too.

Which leads me to former CIA operative Edward Lee Howard, who is dead.

No one started trashing my lawsuits until he died, no one in government was torturing me feeling it was safe to do so, and no one was disowning me either.

First of all, I knew Barbara Greenman and Otterbach were involved in persuading my mother to isolate me.  These are Jewish women who work for FBI and Department of Justice.  Both of them are realtors so that's how they know eachother, and possibly they know Lorraine Rose, who I worked for who was also a realtor.  ON a tangent, I had told Rabbi Rose that my Dad had said once he admired Israel for the 6 day war and Rabbi Rose nodded and smiled until I said, "He said he always like to root for the underdog" and when I said this, the Rabbi took it as an offense, and I realized, he thought I was insulting them as being beneath others.  Of course, 1 year later I was raped with Jew Josh Gatov on top of me and forcing me down.

So here I am, wondering why my mother tried to separate herself from me for the rest of my life, to never speak to me again, and then why she said Oliver and I were family and that was the only family I had in the world, and then later I was told Edward Lee Howard was my father before my Dad was.  I was a Howard before I was a Garrett.  When my mother nodded to this and nodded in a fearful way when I said, "That's why the FBI..." and cut me off, she knew I was talking about Edward Howard.  There wasn't any mistake about how she understood my reference about being a Howard before I was a Garrett.  It was even how she reacted, by first coldly saying, "You're a Garrett" when I said "I'm a Howard"--when I clarified and said, "Yeah, I know, but I was a Howard before I was a Garrett, and that's why the FBI..."  her entire expression and demeanor changed.  She agreed, but she did so in a fearful way, with the cold front gone and a shocked, desperate, and fearful look like the CIA would torture anyone who knew.  There was not any mistake about this, at all.  Somehow, I was conceived with Edward Howards DNA and then discreetly adopted, or we are under "Witness Protection" and my Dad is the real Edward Howard and Edward Howard was the son of Robert Guy Garrett the Sr.  Some "Witness Protection" that would be, to have the U.S. Army and NASA torturing me day and night.  I am definitely a Howard, and not just through Nana, by marriage to a Howard.  I even have random straight black hairs on my body and head to go with it.  My mother said they all thought I would be blond, and that's the cover story, true or not for who I am.  I was a redhead with ash blond hair when it fell out and came back and I have found solid black hairs with chestnut highlights on my head and have 2 black hairs on my stomach.  Black, not brown, blond, or red.  I don't think anyone, on any side of my family (Bob and Dicksies), ever had black hair except for maybe Nana or her mother--some woman who went to a woman's school and loved horses and had jet black hair and she was a Howard.

There is no possible way my mother would lie about this and go from a cold deterrant and flippant, "No you're not, you're a Garrett" to the other expression and shock and nod with a sad hopeful look but filled with fear.  I mean, what the hell has this country sworn my parent's secrecy to?

Not only that, on a different occasion when I brought up my birth certificate my mother wouldn't have reacted the way she did.  That's aside from an outright admission I am somehow biologically a Howard, not a Garrett first.  Howard, and then Garrett.  It's CH. Or CLH.  Unless I somehow had a different first name too.  My initials would be CH.  Ch,ch,ch, chia...not exactly...ch,ch,ch, cover up by CIA yes.  So now it's CLG, but before it was Garrett it was Howard.

Why doesn't the U.S. want to deal with that?

I was looking at aliases for him and found other things.  I found he described himself as "weird" and having "weird" magazines and he went into detail about a violent act of raping a woman which comes across as porn but more likely was the only way to write about something that couldn't otherwise be exposed.  He supported Palestinians which would make Jews hate his guts.  He went camping near Cam something or other, dined at a "Post" restaurant, was described as "difficult" by FBI fuckers, and lived on Verano Loop.  He was half Mexican, so if I'm related to him, that would mean I'm 1/4 Mexican.  An investigation started against him in Shady Grove, Maryland and in Gaithersburg, Maryland.  He was living in Bogota, Colombia in 1973 but he could have had vacation in the U.S., and he was in the U.S. in 1974.  He had a Magnum gun which is maybe why Mike Tancer, whose father was in Peace Corp, thought it was funny to tell me he'd gone as Tom Selleck in Magnum P.I.
All of the crimes against me and my son are U.S. government hate crimes and kidnappings. They deliberately gave information about me to tons of people in positions to harm us, and knowing they would premeditate harming us.  He got his tickets through Camelot Travel when I had a book called King Arthurs Tales and included knights of Camelot, and when it was one of my favorite books.  So the whole "Alvaro Pardo" from Bogota, Colombia who held me hostage to deprive me of my son, but claimed he was wanting to help us, was based on this.  The entire thing was nothing more than U.S. attempts to trap us in the country and to keep my son.

The U.S. has no rights to Oliver regardless to who my biological father is.  He is not a citizen of this country.

Even Granny said something about it, and about the name Edward which I didn't forget even though I hadn't heard of Edward Howard yet, at that time.  Granny also commented about a dimple in my chin, which he has and no one in my mother or father's family has.

I think I look like one of the Dicksies or Bobs but Edward Howard also looks a lot like my Dad.  Anything is possible, and especially considering a lot of things were kept secret from me and then everyone was trying to disown me permanently.

This is why I say with absolute surety, my Aunt Holly and mother's side of the family did nothing for my son Oliver when we lived there.  They hated me and Holly did everything she could to steal him from me.  Her entire family did.  Ivory told me the social worker's first question was "Will you adopt him?"  and his placement with them was conditional on their adopting him. 

This country kidnapped my son from me and immediately had adoption of him, apart from me, in mind.  They were trying to steal him when I was still pregnant with him and Mormons and lawyers approached me about it, and it wasn't a soft-sell, even though in the past those same groups used me for hard-sells in giving oral sex to their elders.  They wanted another kid they could commit government pedophilia with.

My entire family is allowed to see and visit my son, and my entire family (Dicksie, Bob, and Levi) are working for the U.S. military and CIA and have FBI policing them which has been the case since 1976, when they met the Sandbergs.

The Sandbergs know about as much as my parents, and here's the other thing, the Sandberg's hated my guts when I was a kid and teen.  I mean, I had enemies as a little girl.  They loved my brother, Levi, and joked with him and wanted him around and Shirley would tease him, and they hated me, and started whispering and talking in hushed tones whenever I was around.  They made fun of me and degraded me, and I remember getting cold remarks and looks.  Shirley was good friends with Sharon McGuire who was FBI and connected to Carol Middleton.

Also, that large picture collection that was stolen from our house that I went up to and looked at everyday, which I was told not to do, had a photo of a Japanese-American woman in it named Gloria  After I mentioned her to someone, it was stolen.  Gloria was Japanese-American and had wavy thick hair and long legs.  From what I remember she had pretty legs and I think she played tennis.  I remember her wearing short shorts.  I believe she was married to a cop.  I used to go up close and look at the frame of my Dad in the brown suit smiling, with my Mom, and then look closely at Gloria, the Japanese-American.

We played tennis and badmitton with them when I was a kid.  We also played with the Sandbergs a few times, at a tennis court.  After we had rackets, we were then playing in our backyard most of the time, and it was badmitton, but my parents had tennis rackets and badmitton rackets.  I hadn't had lessons and didn't know how to play so I was not very good.  Everyone else did okay. Annette was one of the persons who played tennis.

I don't think there is any reason I would habitually go up to a wall in the morning and look through "frames" at photos of my Dad and Mom and then Gloria, the Japanese-American, unless I had been used for research at the military airport in Moses Lake, which is shared by Japan Airlines International.  Either that, or it was the similiarity between my parents and Hedy Fry from British Columbia where they tortured people and did research at Pemberton.

Also, a code I mentioned earlier, which I later discredited as just something I heard my Dad say, was actually code.  I thought about it and it was different from what he used to say, which was later and it was to NOT mess with a bear with her cubs.  The code I learned led to a verse that said it was better to meet a bear with her cubs than a fool.  It was a pattern of code that reversed some numbers and led backwards, to go "back in time" not forward.  Back to the Future basically, with the clock and everything.  Which is why it was so funny to FBI and Josh Gatov to take me to "Clockwork Orange" after he raped me.

The red herring line, from my Grandpa Garrett, was another code but I didn't know it and I still don't know what it means.