I didn't have any dreams last night that I remember. Today has been very so-so energy wise. But last night, was very good and positive and it doesn't make sense bc I think part of what happened might have been a prank? or someone initially, who didn't like me, was involved? and yet, I was connecting very strongly to a seriously positive vibe, and I don't know if it's because people were praying or what, but after, I felt this feeling of being complete or calm. The weirdest thing. Like I got my other half somewhere in the world, one way or the other. I don't know if it's a long lost relative or what. But something very right. Some part of it highly suspect maybe and someone not so right, but, I don't know how to describe it. Either someone right or someone on the sidelines watching who is very right. Strange.
At any rate, I talked to someone who is into energy and psychic things and we tried an experiment, a one minute experiment to see how I do on cold readings I guess, or trying to focus on something and seeing what comes to mind. I don't feel that I'm very good at this kind of thing at all, because when I now it's really right, it comes to me out of nowhere. But I figure it doesn't hurt to try and practice.
So we both tried to guess one minute things about Nicolas Cage and then William of Wales. I guess I'm posting it bc I wouldn't do a "reading" behind anyone's back...don't know how to describe it. I would have no idea how she or I stacked up with what's really going on with them.
Oh well. I guess it's not that important.
I have had a lot on my mind today.
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Very weird. Okay, I was sparing everyone my little "readings" for Will and Nic, but I just came across this article and it sort of freaked me out in a small way. It really has nothing to do with William though, or Nic, but it was when I was concentrating on Nic, the idea of parachuting and also, the words "paratrooper" came to mind. Well, I think it has absolutely nothng to do with these guys, but I just found an article on most popular list, in the Sunday Mirror or something, about a parachuting (or free falling) paratrooper. I think I wrote down "parachuting" but didn't write paratrooper online and yet I wrote it on a card. I figured they were too closely related and one word was obscuring the other word. Well, it's a coincidence, but I found this article that yeah, has nothing to do with either guys, but about a parachuting paratrooper which was just published today. What's additionally kind of weird, is that I saw a big skull head sticker on the back of a truck that same night, while walking home, which matches the skull on the sweater of the paratrooper. I know it's coincidence and it doesn't even match either of the guys, but it's sort of interesting.http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2010/01/03/paratrooper-who-lost-legs-is-british-skydive-champ-115875-21937552/
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I don't know what happened. Last night, very strong energy and then nothing, just level today until I got a message from someone but then it faded after I said, "I like the direction he's taking". I was thinking about, not necessarily a certain direction per se, but vocation in life and aspirations. On track and leaving other things to other people. Maybe it's that I'm thinking of my son a lot today and trying to figure things out. I think that's part of it.
I am starting to feel slightly...I don't know. I'm confused. It's alright though. Feels like a mini-drama, my life. Pretty boring today but I saw someone take my photo while I was walking a black lab and thought, "Oh great, and now here i am with 'widgeon'" and I'm living across the way from a mountain called "castle rock" and I just spent new year's eve with diana's twin. I sometimes feel like a joke, but that's alright, I just hope everything will turn out okay with my son and my life, in a general sense. I don't know why I still have people telling me to leave my son "to God" as if there is something, anything, better than my son! I cannot imagine one thing better, and what does anyone think I could do, at age 35, that is more important than this? It's just confusing why it's been this hard to get things going in the right direction for having my son back. I hope everything will move in favor of my son and what he wants, I really, really hope so. I don't know "how" to "give up" my son "to God". I am not Abraham and my son is not Isaac. My family has been too preoccupied, from the start, with "appearance" and the idea that their daughter will never be "married" if she has a child on board. I don't even know why this is an issue anymore. I'm 35 and if I've held out this long, what makes anyone think I will EVER be married? and why does it take a man to make a good family? It simply doesn't. Not to say that a GOOD man isn't an incredible asset, but I've done the research, and I did it before my son was born. The whole thing is about having role models of the same gender in the child's life. It's not necessary to have a "mother and father"--it's only necessary for the child to see good examples of both genders.
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