Friday, June 10, 2011

Oppression and Crime Against Me and My Son (panetta behind virus)

We have no recourse. Where is my recourse? To be jailed and jailed and falsely jailed again? while deprived of my son and my son being deprived of me?

I have nothing left in this country.

I have nothing and I'm still used and tortured. I don't know why they don't torture me tonight, or maybe it's because they hope I won't leave and can be tortured better in jail as I was last at the Knoxville detention center.

I was offered a place to stay tonight, but it's where someone was using an ultrasound device on me for about 5 minutes (I wrote about it) and even though I want to go, someone wanted to evoke fear in me due to the gross trauma of being asked to strip out of my own clothing as they gave me a smock to wear and sent me to a psych ward. I was told if I went to the women's shelter, they would want me to change out of my own clothing into something they had. I don't know who might have been waiting to transport me from there.

How can I trust anyone when these people have been absolutely untrustworthy?

I'm not a fan of Hebrew music, but this one clip I came across the other night, 2 nights ago, caught my attention. When I stood up after listening to it several times, my legs were shaking and I didn't know why. I wasn't afraid. I didn't even know what they were singing and I wasn't so much interested in the footage as the music. I kept hearing the songs. I was being tortured at the hotel while listening to it and other things and they asked me to leave just as I was looking up "Quien Muere..." to find out what this means in Spanish. Interestingly, the guard looked FREAKED out. She was shaking literally--her hands were shaking and trembling. I wasn't shaking at all and then I stood up to leave and I wasn't nervous at all, but my legs were sort of shaky in a different way. It wasn't because I was afraid. It was something else.

Now, tonight I looked it up again and all I can find is some translation about how the first part (or song) is: Choose Life, and the second part is: Whose Blood Is Redder? Something in the title about "Who Am I, Sagsoar The Verdict." And something about "escaped prisoner's dillemna and endangers his company of a job."

I typed in a search for "whose blood is redder" and found eminem. ? So I listened to a song I've never heard before: Beautiful. I had sort of liked his older stuff and not liked the newer songs but the very first intro to the song, the rap part, umm...excellent. The rhythm. Really, really cool and fluid. And then this other part where i...I just listened to a different one and there are different versions. This one cuts off but it has the fluidity I like at the beginning.

I guess "Whose blood is redder" is a phrase. I've just never heard it before. I guess it's from the gemara in the Sanhedrin, "who says your blood is redder than his?" Some serious sentiments going on with my printing that last. why romantic I have no clue. It's not a romantic saying. almost like you love so much it's violent. I don't mean, abusive violent, I mean...what does violent really mean, in an alternate sense? I guess it can mean fervor.

Then, of all things, I found something about all the terrible things some Jews have done--violent things done to others. I put the link up. I think it's mainly a little "out there" and archaic but some of it could be true. It was said that in the Russian Revolution, the jews were so violent and filled with hatred that the Chinese were shuddering and could not carry out the acts, but the Jews had no problem. It's just very rare to hear about jewish actually torturing anyone.

Listening to the Ballad of Lucy Jordan now, by Marianne Faithful.

I asked for some direction or understanding today. When I was looking at all these crazy things having to do with even yearbook discoveries, and I asked God, show me something about Kate and I got Barrabus. I wondered what that was supposed to mean and then I got it again, a totally different passage in the Bible. The people shouted "Give us Barrabus!" and they didn't want Jesus to be released because they were jealous. The first passage where I found it didn't say anything about jealousy, but a few minutes later, I ended up on one that did and I was asking the same question. So I wondered what that was supposed to mean? People wanted one person over another, out of jealousy? They said of Jesus, "crucify him!"

Then, I asked for direction about what to do with this case, and another false arrest and I got a section with Abigails words to David, that although men pursued him, he would not die and would be wrapped in the fold of friends and the enemies would be in trouble. And then it said something about a slingshot. It was this:

"Now since the Lord has kept you, my master, from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, as surely as the Lord ives and as you live, may your enemies and all who intend to harm my master be like Nabal. And let this gift, which your servant has brought to my master, be given to the men who follow you. Please forgive your servant's offense, for the Lord will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my master, because he fights the Lord's battles. Let no wrongdoing be found in you as long as you live. Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my master will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the Lord your God. But the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling.

When the Lord has done for my master every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him leader over Israel, my master will not have on his conscience the staggering nurden of needless bloodshed or having avenged himself. And when the Lord has brought my master success, remember your servant." I Samuel 25:26-31.
My mom just sent me an email saying her throat was worse than ever.

I wrote back to her, "Mom, unless Leon Panetta has a throat issue, he is behind (ultimately) your and Oliver's virus."

I wrote this because on the same day that I made my post about looking at Panetta's photo and always getting some impression of some mistress, I had also closed my eyes and prayed to God to show me something about him that was secret or that had to do with him specifically that I wouldn't otherwise know.

One thing I was shown, immediately, was a throat and the inside of this throat. I saw what it looked like on the inside and what was happening to it.

And then at that next minute, the phone rang, as I was seeing the throat. It was my mother and she began coughing and said how was I doing.

I was still on the Panetta page.

Then I find out my son has the exact same virus, in a totally different state.

At first I thought, "Is this something happening to Panetta? a sore throat or some kind of major issue?" and then I thought, "No, this might have to do with your own mother and something that Panetta is responsible for."

And then I discovered just today that my son was suffering.

Panetta is the man.

Do not hire him as head of the Pentagon.

I'll describe what the throat looked like in a minute.

I saw it (mind's eye), from the front and then going in and down the throat. The mouth was wide open and I saw activity and movement in the throat, sort of CSI like, where the camera takes you in and you see spores, cells, and fungus moving around. It was light, I could see inside as if there was a light inside and it wasn't dark and there were sort of light glowing (or electric looking) lines and formation. I saw, when the jaw was opening and shutting, this yellowish sort of dry taffy like substance, but it was more of a metaphysical idea that was showing me there was some kind of bacteria. It was like when gum is stuck in the back of ones teeth and then you open your mouth and it stretches the gum.

But it wasn't gum and it was breaking after rising a little and didn't string all the way out like gum.

I'm looking now and the med articles say bacterias all have different formations, some in spherical chains and other in other shapes.

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