V.H. I was looking for a different song that was in mind, but I thought it was this one and it's not. This one is more depressing. The first few lines about the snow in December, when my son and I were being tortured, is depressing.
Being invalidated is depressing.
Sensing someone is relieved to touch on ones energy is good, even if they have the worst case of self-denial.
The song, I found it. It's "Life In Technicolor" by Coldplay.
This is the song that came to my mind and was playing over and over right before someone got into his car to drive away. Figures. Doesn't it?
Oh yeah, and how about that. Couldja hear the sirens sound?
My intuition is spot-perfect.
The version I got is crappy, but I put the link up because it's the one I got, from
"lastchance86". It's a compilation of Technicolor I, II and the Escapist.
I kept hearing the beginning, the synthesizer piano, over and over.
Then, this person finally calls, gets in a car, and enacts what should have been video footage for Life in Technicolor II. Complete with sirens in the background. I hadn't even said which Coldplay song I was picking up yet either.
And look who is out of a job and screwed over.
Because of what? brilliance? psychic ability I can't control? Or sheer pathetic jealousy.
Which is why I should at least move to some other country that might compensate me for my time.
I have people who ARE compensated for their time, wiggling their way into wherever I go, just out of curiosity, and to test their own abilities out on me. For this, I get absolutely nothing and worse--forced detainment so someone can try to pin me down even further but try to make me sound crazy at the same time.
The second link starts out the way I heard the song starting out. It's not the exact same track but closer.
Everyone says "You need a lawyer."
And if I can't get a decent lawyer, which I can't, why stay here? to be used and know my own son has been tortured for the same kind of crap I have to go through? So my son can be a cog in a sick machine?
And I'M the one who is being called fucking crazy, for documenting on my BLOG some fucking CRAZY people who have done crazy things to me and my son and then follow my ass all over the country and get off on it.
I write about this song and what was going on at the same time, and what do I get out of it? another impression of a man's shaky fingers.
Do you know what's scary?
Being tortured. Literally.
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I had an impression of Vladimir wearing a white shirt with a collar today but couldn't get anything about him really. Not in tune at all. Just thought about it for a minute and tried to focus but I got nothing. Some oxford style plain white shirt with a collar.
And then some old friend in a reddish sort of rust-marroon color.
And the man who I mentioned as having spit out his drink or back into his drink, had ice cubes in what he was drinking, and it was a clear glass. (I wrote about it in the last post).
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The song I got this morning while in the gym this early morning, was this one by Debbie Boone. I put it in a link, link #3. It was so strongly in my mind at about 6:00 a.m. or so and it's one I always sang to as a child and teenager.
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Oh, and today a black bird, a crow, flew into the back of my head like it had been hit by something. It wasn't trying to. Just brushed the side of my head and then was on the ground. That happened when I was downtown trying to find Routh.
The bird flew right into my hair and I thought, "There! There's a sign. Pick me! Pick ME!"
Forget the sheep's wool, how about praying and asking God to "please have a large black bird fly into the hair of the woman I am supposed to pledge my allegiance to". At least it wasn't a dove. That would be the most confusing message possible. A black crow is supposed to be a good omen for...not into meanings but my guess would be that the same technology that's used for experimental reasons to screw with people's heads can alter the flight pattern of birds. And then it's supposed to be a big sign for something when it's not.
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anyway. Some decent man is screwed. I prayed today that whoever God thinks I should be with, whoever that is, (not NOW), but someone mutually agreeable and who is God's choice for me, wouldn't be able to get me out of his head. So that's not specific, bc I don't know who it would be, and I had no one in particular in mind except I also said, "Keep the ones that I would never be interested in away because we don't need a midsummer night's dream and I don't need an ass either." Anyway, I just thought I'd announce it because there is really nothing you can do about it now. You're just screwed.
Fighting it will be like me wandering around trying to find Routh. You just finally have to stop being pissed, at some point and realize, "This is NOT where I wanted to GO!" and then realize, you know what, maybe where you were wanting to go wasn't that great anyway and there is something better.
Since I don't know who this person is, it's even more fun to write about it and freak people out. Nothing can change it either.
Anyway, don't come around trying to date me right now because I'm busy. I have some things I have to do. But you're a goner, just so you know.
Monday, June 20, 2011
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