Friday, June 3, 2011

Scripture Last Night & "Answers" (kissing the hand)

I really had a very interesting and encouraging spiritual exchange with God, I think, last night. It was one night where all of these things I asked to understand, were given answers.

For example, through the service, the chapel service, I felt the presence of God and it was strange (to describe)...felt a very kinesthetic? presence. Sometimes, different senses are heightened and that was one night where it wasn't so much my mind's eye was having visions or images, or that I was thinking of anything was this almost fully encompassing experience where I could almost feel touch. No, it wasn't mentally ill, it was definitely spiritual. Sometimes it was worship and sometimes almost a dance. What I mean by this, is arms sliding past arms, and yet it was more like angels, than anything. It's hard to describe.

And as I worshipped God, I felt over and over, this impression of kissing my palms. I don't know what it was, but had I been alone, I would have kissed the palms of my hands, and just so many times, it came me, to kiss the palms of my hands and then raise them to God. It was an extremely strong idea or presence of an idea and the coolest thing was that later that night it was revealed to me what it meant.

I kept thinking, later, "I know I have done spontaneous things, or wanted to, in worship to God, such as lying prostrate or some other thing, but this kissing of the palms of my hands...why so strong and what does it mean? Is this a tradition somewhere in the world?"

Then, before I get into what I was shown, the other thing that I saw, while in prayer at the end of chapel was some zig-zagging pattern, like up and down and zig zag. I didn't "see" it, just had an idea.

I kept saying to God, "Abba" as well. And this later correlated with something (the verse about being heirs, in Galatians).

The other thing that I had the strongest, most powerful impression of, was almost feeling or seeing this white robe, and myself holding around the legs, which I thought of as some reference maybe to people who touched or wanted to touch something from Jesus (his robe). It was wrapping my arms around his lower legs at his feet, on my knees, and I wondered if some woman was doing this in the world and that's why I thought of it so much then, or if it was me. It felt like me, because I sensed this powerful presence and then just wanted to do this, symbolicly, to Jesus. It was a very heavy white robe, not thin and went to the feet. (I am looking up symbolism but I know it was for Jesus and it was a man, but I'm curious about what it means in the Middle eastern culture). It was straight down, and had folds and it wasn't like thin cotton or linen.

I also saw all these forms of worship, just beautiful, almost dance, and unashamed adoration and praise. On knees, with arms raised, and so many expressions of worship.

Then, after chapel I went to a prayer service and while I was sitting there, all of a sudden, I felt (almost) someone putting a cloak around my shoulders, or draping something. It wasn't a tangible feeling, like I was hallucinating, but it was more like this extremely strong impression and it startled me and I asked God what that was supposed to mean. Some royal idea came to mind (because I sort of snickered to myself and thought, "what's that? the mantle?" and I at first rebuked the devil and then I thought, don't rebuke the devil, it is for something else and it's from God. But I didn't know what it meant until later that night.

So this is the really interesting part...It was cool enough to just feel the way I felt and I thanked God for it and for blessing me and prayed for the blessing to return to those (and to God) from whom the blessings flowed.

Then, I went to the women's dorm and walked over to this locker I'd never noticed. It had a quotation from Isaiah that said, "I have engraved your name on the palms of my hands, your walls are continually before me" and I thought, "Ohmigosh, that's it. Maybe I wanted to kiss my palms and offer them to God in the same way He offers this to me."

And then when I was in bed, I read at random, from a Bible, and fell across many great passages and read them, and then after skipping around to good sections (will maybe mention in a moment) I stopped and said, "God, what do you want me to turn to? Is there something you specifically want me to read?" and I got this idea, "Galatians". I had prayed again, "Is there something that isn't about me at all, but you would just like to have me read?" and so I turned to Galatians, determining when I got to the chapter I'd just read the first thing I flipped to in Galatians. And it was this whole section about how we are sons of God and heirs, not slaves. And it specifically had a verse about a cloak that comes upon us, and I thought, "That's it." And I felt so blessed to have this correlate to my impression of a cloak. I was sort of shocked, because sometimes when I try to make it only about God, I find God takes that and turns it into something about me, or for me, to encourage me in return. (It's Galatians 3 about being clothed with christ, the seed, the heir and the slave and being sons of God. It talks about how the Jews call themselves heirs but others slaves, but when clothed with christ there is neither Jew nor Gentile, slave or free, heir or bondswoman--they are all viewed as equal in God's eyes).

Then, I decided, "I guess I will try to find that verse about the engraving on the hands..." because I couldn't remember where it was in Isaiah and didn't want to get back out of bed and look at the verse reference on the locker again. So I started going through Isaiah from beginning to end, to find it and as I did, I found this other reference first, and it said, "One shall write on the palms of his hands, "I am of the Lord's" and another will say, "My name is Jacob." and then yet another will say, "I'm the Lords' and shall call himself Israel." It made me think of how I had felt, in the sense of the palms of my hands, and feeling close to God (I'll try to find the verse again) and then I did come upon the other verse about being engraved in God's palms, that we are there. The first one I came to was Isaiah 44:1-5 and the second one I came to was Isaiah 49:12-18 and I read just that much or a little before.

Finally! as if that wasn't enough for revelations, I had one grand finale which made me cry. As I was meditating or thinking about this palm stuff and the symbolism, I then asked God, "So can you tell me or show me what falling at the robe means? why I wanted to cling to this white robe that I knew was Jesus or God?" and the most shocking thing of the whole night was that then, I went from Isaiah and the engraving on the palms of the hands, to open randomly to the New Testament and guess what I landed on?

I was not even trying to end up here, or thinking "I'm going to do a random search." I had simply turned to the New Testament and wanted to look but I opened up immediately to the story of "The Sinful Woman" who fell at the feet of Jesus, breaking open an alabaster jar to annoint him with. The disciples tried to tell her to go away or why not spend the money on something else but she wept and annointed his feet with this perfumed oil and her tears, and Jesus said "This is precious to me, she is doing a good thing" and that "her sins may be many, but great is her love" and then he forgives her sins (will find the passage). Luke 7:36-50.

So, overall, it was an outstanding night for me, with spiritual answers. After I got this, I put my hand on my forehead in shock and thought, "What in the WORLD" and then I had some silent tears because I could not believe how directly I got answers to very specific things. It was really amazing.

I have sensed very good energy while writing this whole post too.

Before getting some answers specifically, I turned to different things, and the psalms I read were Psalms 140 and Psalms 19. (will check). I also read the Genealogy of Benjamin from Chronicles and then I turned randomly and ended up on the Geneaology of Jesus, son of David, from Matthew ch. 1. And the very end portion of Malachi (the whole of Ch.4). Just the last section. I read a few random things to just read sections and then I asked God my questions, to show me what to read and what different things meant and He showed me!

I just looked up more about kissing the palm of the hand and I found in one link (which I'll put above with some others) that the word "worship" means literally, "to kiss the hand". In the Greek, this is what it means. I was curious because while to me it meant adoration of God, I didn't know if it means different things in other cultures or if it's a common idea. some other random things...It says some people kiss the palm of their hand and then extend it to an object or thing or person but probably if they mean it for God, it's for God, universally. Then I found the American sign language sign, in Arabic, for "Thanks be to Allah" (al-fatihah) is to kiss the palm then put palms out or extend. And the ASL for the letter "I" is made in Jerusalem by kissing the palm and then turning the palm out as if to a wall. Probably this is to represent "Isaiah" for the passage that talks about these things, or maybe to represent "Israel". However, it reflects the verse about how one is engraved on the hands of God, and that our walls (our state or condition) is always on his mind and before him. Probably Indian and Greek or others have similiar ideas. I also looked up fatihah and the prayer of the "cloaked man", since it was right there, next to the wiki for fatihah was an option for sura so I clicked and found the prayer of the cloaked man.

I went back to look up heavy white robes and if there is any cultural significance, for it to be heavy or heavy weight instead of light or thinner cotton or linen and I ended up on the page for "Glory". Wahhl Glory-bEE! But it says the meaning of the word "glory" (I don't know how this is true???) is "weight" or "heaviness". It says on the wiki for "glory" (when I typed in a search for "heavy white robe" that a white robe is a symbol that has been used in art, for ages, to symbolize "glory" so I guess it makes sense that if it means weight or heavy, that it is of a heavy weight? I don't know. I'm just guessing and goofing around on some of this. Some of it I know was really a confirmation and answers to my questions and the other stuff I just guestimate about and wonder and think it's probably of no great difference. I found this verse from the Bible (online by Adam Clarke) at v.11 how Herod arrayed Jesus in a "gorgeous robe" to mock him and then he and Pilate became friends, whereas before they had been enemies. Which is so strange to think of, because wasn't it Herod who wanted to kill off all the baby boys because he was afraid of a prophesy about some other "king" usurping him? So he goes to all this trouble and then he has Jesus, grown and performing signs and miracles and having many believers, in his grasp and he decides he's going to deck Jesus out in the best royal apparel he can find. It doesn't say what color it was, but if he was putting a sign over his head to read "King of the Jews" and mocking him about "king" things or "royalty", some other reference I looked at said it was common in that day for Jews of royalty to wear white robes. After Herod literally went out and bought or brought a "gorgeous" robe for him to wear, he then sent him back to Pilate. And Pilate and Herod played with Jesus like a pawn, even though Pilate's wife had a dream warning him not to bring the blood of Jesus onto their heads. "And Herod with his men of war, set him at naught, and mocked him, and arrayed him in a gorgeous robe, and sent him again to Pilate. And the same day Pilate and Herod were made friends together: for before they were at enmity between themselves." Luke 23. Then I was at wiki for alabaster and then "woman with alabaster jar" on wiki and then "mary magdalene" on wiki. It says she's revered as a woman known for being ridiculed for piety. Which makes me think of how Herod ridiculed Jesus with the gorgeous robe.

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