Wednesday, June 22, 2011

pulling an all-nighter spider

I have no reason to be up all night except that the women's shelter here said if I wanted a bed tonight, to be in or at the door at 11 a.m. and then stay there all day. So I didn't want to do that and I'm up all night doing nothing.

I had no reason to write "spider" except that there was some kind of internal rhyme there.

I figured out what happened with the pink spots on my blue and white towel. I had thought someone dyed the bench and was wondering what the h--- because it happened on the 29th, and matched (almost) what happened on April 29th. I thought it was some kind of bizarre trick, but NO! I'm an idiot. It was my B12 pill that melted in my back pocket and somehow double marked and stained my towel. I went into the sauna and sat down on a towel in my denim jeans and marked the towel and then I was complaining to everyone how awful it was when others vandalized property. It was a flamingo pink color. I took paper out of my back pocket tonight and saw the paper was pink and then remembered I'd put a soluable pill in my back pocket.

I seriously thought someone was playing this weird trick on me.

I don't know how it marked opposite sides of the towel though. It's still sort of weird that it happened at all, just because it was so like the other time, and on the same date, a month or two later.

One thing was cool today, really interesting.

Here is where I say, "Please give me my son back!"

I was in the elevator with some strangers this afternoon and the man made some innocuous comment, really general and I quipped, "You must be in stocks and bonds!" and this other man stared at me and the man I directed this to said, "I'm in bonds." I said, "What?" and he said, "I'm a lawyer and I work with bonds." This other man looked totally freaked out and made a quick exit and then I second guessed and said, "No, you're not. Really? Do you have something to prove it?"

And he said, "I do," and he reached over and gave me a business card. I said , "Okay, I'll look it up!" and I put it in my bag, inserting it into my Bible and then thinking "I will have to see which part of the scriptures that card landed in". I didn't do it on purpose, to put in my Bible even, it was just there on the side of my bag and I randomly put it there. And then later I thought, "I put his card in my Bible. I wonder where it is." So then I got something to drink and I went off the elevator and I opened the Bible up and the last name, I looked at it and it was Raynor. So I took my Bible out and the card was tipped and sticking out with just a small triangle showing of it at the Bible and then it said, at least where I looked, on the page, "Once for all, I have sworn by my holiness--and I will not lie to David--that his line will continue forever and his throne endure before me like the sun." (Psalms 89:35-36)

I'll put a link to one of the meanings for "raynor" above.

So anyway. I AM guessing things that are accurate and I feel the State of Washington had some inkling that I was doing this and they tried to cover it up with some "mental illness" claim when my son and I were being tortured and attacked for having a gift. I think someone knew that if I had this gift, my son likely would as well. I was writing to people online about how smart and advanced his development was. And then we were attacked and it altered everything, permanently. I've been experimented with, by people who have known all along. And my son taken from me to make this possible. Where the line is between gangster or mafia and black operations led or allowed by government officials, I don't know. I'm thankful to people like Mr. Raynor for letting me see for myself, that I was right about something. I said to him, "Did you see the look on the other man's face? he looked sort of freaked out when you said you were a bonds lawyer." Mr. Raynor said, "He probably got out of there before you guessed what HE did for a living."

I think those whom I've named as having been corrupt or doing wrong to me or my son had a lot of motive to try to say I was mentally ill and cover up for what others were doing. The thing is, it wasn't even stocks that came to mind first.

Bonds came to mind. But I thought, "Well, that's Stocks and bonds" and so I quipped about this and he said, "I'm not in stocks, but I AM in bonds. I'm a lawyer who specializes in bonds." I didn't even tell him my first impression was just bonds. I almost said, "So you must be into bonds." But then even after he confirmed it was true, I doubted myself.

I don't want anyone to think I'm right all the time, with guesses. But I know for a fact that I've been correct too often for some to feel comfortable.

My son and I twitched all night, at night, in East Wenatchee. We were so ill we were almost faint. I several times almost passed out and was so ill that I couldn't get off the ground. I was almost blacking out. The pain in my lower stomach and lower back was excruciating and the painkillers were high and did nothing to help. My son and I were having our feet cramp up into charlie horses and curling under at night as well. Once, my son cried out in his sleep and raised one arm straight up in the air, and was twitching at the same time. They were interior twitches, where it was just under the skin. We were being warmed up unnaturally and when we finally got away our bodies went into such shock my son contracted a severe case of whooping cough, so bad we almost took him to the ER. It calmed down, but then we both had bronchitis. His wheezing and contraction of his lungs was from the shock of going from being overheated by technology all the time, to a normal environment. Canadian people witnessed the curling and WARPING of my son's toenails and my own nails. My SON SUFFERED.

And then he was forced to suffer further, by being stripped from the only person who loved him enough to be willing to leave the country, and willing to die herself, to save his life.

People have really been getting away with a lot lately. Just taking this whole game and "mental illness" joke a little too far, mocking me while they know others are still using technology on me but doing it in a way where they can't get caught and hopefully keeping it "white" and "clean" as far as torture goes. Make sure there are no marks.

Meanwhile, I can give an entire list of things my son and I have suffered.


Being I'm psychic and because not only that, I was attractive, talented with an ability to write beautiful music and poetry, and someone didn't want ME and my smarts, getting in their way. Some group knew that the constant publication of the Willamette Week article about me, which was defamatory, was grounds for lawsuit still, and they knew I could file again, so they wanted to make me sound like I was fitting their story. And others were sick with jealousy and worry that I was able to file my own lawsuits and have Judges generally keep them up for 2 years. I filed 2 MAJOR lawsuits at a time, while still going to college overtime, with 20 credits and a 3.6 GPA, and still sang, wrote music, tended a garden, started a PT book buying business, worked as a CEO of Student Activities for a college, and I ran to keep in shape, and went to church when possible. And I still went out on a Friday night now and then, to go dancing and have a drink. And everyone asked where I got my money. On top of everything, I had better budgeting skills than most of my peers. I did all of these things, on barely enough to live off of as it was. I recruited people to help and who volunteered and tried to make it fun. And I used ingenuity to save money. I didn't get ANY help. I did it on my own, and then I told Christa Schneider the only thing that could keep me down was physical illness.

I've been sick ever since. Starting with a few months after I was asked how I wanted to die.

I did ALL of this. By myself.

This SCARED the h--- out of seriously powerful groups.

What other young woman do YOU know, personally, who has done all this, who proved she could do all of these things at one time? and do them well? Give me a name of ONE woman who has done what I have done.

I was a threat.

Then my son came into this world, and I started writing internationally about how brilliant he was. I couldn't understand it myself. Suddenly, someone wanted to tear us both apart and make us useless. They wanted to cut off MY LINE. Who has been promoting themselves and their groups in my place?

While I was being TORTURED and drugged, and assaulted, shot up with harmful drugs, falsely imprisoned, set up, threatened, poisoned, and witnessing my son go through the same. They took a woman who was outstanding in every way, and remarkable, and sought to DESTROY her life. And then rob her child of any chance.

That woman is ME.

They have gone after my family and friends and anyone who tried to help as well. WHY would anyone do these incredible things? I guess desperate times call for desperate measures. I was so far out of their league they had to use TORTURE against both me and my son.

Anyone who wanted to pull a deal for me, to get me out of this situation, probably gave up at some point, after I was attacked again and then repeatedly cited with false arrests, and discredited. I lost my poetic voice. I acted like a torture victim and I was deprived of the decency of the truth, that I was reacting to torture.

"You think you're 'special'" . This is what my enemies said to me, repeatedly. "YOU think YOU'RE SPECIAL." And then they tore into me and every single time I tried to stand up, they went after me with blugeons like some kind of disgraceful hypocritical mob, and some of the vultures stood there waiting to see if I'd sell my body to get out of being tortured and kept out of work, housing, and reputation.

Who is saying "You think you're special" now?

No one. After they stole everything I ever had, they continued to torture and use me and my son. And no one was going to say I was special at all. I was not going to be special anymore, if they had anything to do with it. I was going to be less than human. They were going to turn my son into an animal.

After I was dragged down far enough, it just became fun to follow me around and mock me as I had to figure out how to even feed myself.

No one was worried that I was "special" anymore at least, but they still tried to make sure I was periodically jailed or thrown into a psych ward, or kept out of work and shunned, for good measure. The more of an outcast and embarrassment I seemed to be, the less chance there was of my "recovery".

My son was tortured, abused, traumatized beyond repair. Treated by some, like an animal. Told not to cry. Told to dance and perform for others. Punched. Beaten. Cut. Made to watch loved things die. Burned with acid, and if we dared say it was true, the State that is seething with corruption was going to blame it on my family or aunt and uncle and take him out of the family altogether. They used blackmail to get everything they wanted.

Now they are faking motions for "Appeal" for a case that is a set up and a fraud to begin with. Every attempt I've made to go to the FBI is overshadowed by my being thrown into jail, into a psych ward, or harassed non-stop and tortured and discredited so I can never get to someone.

In the middle of oppression by those who hated me for being, they thought, "Special", I was then used like a guinea pig. Never compensated or allowed to work and do my own thing freely. Used while I was kept down, like a slave. Jail and psych wards used as containment centers for further experimentation.

That wasn't even enough. They hadn't broken my spirit, so they kept harassing me as well.

I don't know why my entire family doesn't leave this country and relocate altogether. I asked my parents, "WHY are you staying here? Don't you know that you can get passports and start over somewhere else, and with your licensing, make a better life? Do you like watching what is allowed to happen to your daughter, son, and grandson? What makes you WANT to stay here and tell me, WHAT makes the U.S. such a great place with this going on? WHY do you even WANT to stay?" I haven't received an answer. I love the U.S. and many of the people, but when the law enforcement and intelligence is totally corrupt with people allowing my family to be tortured under their knowing and watchful noses, there is something seriously wrong.

A lot of good things have been happening with sort of revelations and learning from scriptures and feeling encouraged by God. But in all this, I just cannot hardly believe any of these things have happened to me and my son at all. And I need my son and my son needs me.

No comments: