Wednesday, March 23, 2011

This Morning

I tried to start this morning out right but ended up swearing when I discovered a book my mother had sent to me had been returned. The woman told me she returned anything that was 48 hours late, but she chose not to return the State mail from Washington State. I looked at the postmark date on the State mail and it was March 16th. She then lied and said she had just received it yesterday. So I was upset about this and my mother will have to resend the book. It's the one about pigs.

I felt a good energy this morning though, from somewhere.

My feet were killing me with the shoes so I walked barefoot awhile and the sidewalk was clean today. I dressed casual even though I felt there was something important in the air. I went to the gym and accidentally exploded Cream of Wheat in the microwave and then went to a computer to write something for a legal matter.

I ran into some people touring, from England and Australia and this one man had on a smiley face tie which made me think of my son. They were all very nice and good humored. I was sort of zoning out the other day, writing and reading online and just barely heard some kind of language to my side but didn't pay attention and then, breaking from my concentration, I said to them, "What language do you speak?" or something like that and they said, with a smile, "English." I said, "Oh!" It was British English and then we all laughed. She said, "We sound foreign?" I guess they are close to the Scottish border but I thought it was sort of funny.

Yesterday for a few minutes I decided to focus on the psychics from around the world and said hello to them and to the Super Psychic people. I thought, "If any of them can pick up on this kind of thing, that would be interesting." I singled them out by country and then with China, addressed the children specifically because I've heard they are the ones used, or that it's before puberty they are felt to be useful. I addressed pretty much all the countries. There are probably psychics who are good enough that they know what is happening to me and my son and they know I am not lying or delusional. I also have a desire to talk to someone who is a Super Psychic and learn what it is like for them and maybe someday it will help me in fleshing out an idea for a book. Most of these types are under wraps, but I am understanding, more than most people would be and I'm just curious. However, I also prayed that some of these types would also become christian because some think it is okay to harass someone and try to expose everything they do or think and it's for sport and for money. In this case, I know that person is not acting in the will of God.

One day, there was this woman at the restaurant who sometimes had an attitude and this one day I just started thinking about her mannerism and it sort of amused me or tickled my funny bone (so to speak) and so I kept thinking of her, with all her little mannerisms and then I put her together with this other person in sort of an MTV or video collage and replayed it in my mind.

I also prayed for the non-psychic and psychic good people and wanted them to "win" at something. That song kept going through my mind last night--"Falling Slowly" where it says "It's time that you won." I am praying for a lawyer to really want to take my case too, to prove kidnapping of my son and that he must be returned.

I want someone who is serious and interested in discovering some unusual circumstances. I don't care what country they are from, but they would need to be living in the U.S. and also not be opposed to getting FOIA from the FBI and other government officials, and just be interested in it for some reason.

I looked up Ayesha al-gaddafi today because if the Iranian lawyer or lawyer for the kidnapped Iranian man doesn't want to help or can't, I am looking at other options. However, I see she was put under a travel ban in February 2011. Why, it doesn't say anywhere. Nowhere on the net can I find out why, but the UN was involved in it. I tried looking up the charity wa attisimou but Google won't pull up the actual page.

I am also thinking about a German lawyer maybe. I'm asking my family if they know of anyone through their friends who did a lot of social work in Germany and in the Ukraine.

I really feel I may need a lawyer who is the citizen of another country.
went to Oswald Chambers and read the devotional online for today along with the scriptures from "read the bible in a year". They were from Joshua in taking more land for inheritance and on the birth of John the Baptist.

Since I haven't been using my own laptop, the burning stuff has only happened on occasion. i think it's because it is more difficult to know where I'll be and what i'll be doing and line up technology stuff, so it's much more sporadic. Also, i went to the same places for wifi all the time and it wasn't hard to know where i'd be and for how long.

now i only have a problem where I'm already assumed or known i'll be for some time, and then it's sporadic.
I wondered yesterday who God has his eye on. wondering because of '...and he (she) did what was right in the eyes of God." thinking about david, looking like scruff in a field with a stick and and he was being eyed. thinking about whose heart, no one can see but god, and even how people are imperfect, and do wrong (all do) but who is really sincere. wondering how you know who these people are. i put on pandora and chose "the imperials" for starting worship music and the song it started with was "goin' away" which i haven't heard forever.

i was looking up different countries and found sweden. while still in the bathroom dressing, i had put on the cobalt blue sweater over my yellow shirt that i wore today and i thought, 'whose colors are these?" and was trying to think if anyone or country was represented by bright yellow and cobalt blue (and then i have my purple nails) and then i looked up sweden on wiki and it's sweden! i have my fleece pullover with me too but mainly wore yellow and then it got colder so i had this sweater in my locker and grabbed it.

today i wore a long sleeved yellow cotton shirt with a car on it of different colors and the words 'trackstar'. it's a good yellow color so i felt like wearing it with my jeans and it has yellow, black, and a lot of other colors (red, blue, gray). i wore flip flops with it that are yellow and black and i thought, 'i don't care they were given to me at the nuthouse.' i had no shoes at the psych ward these people allowed me to be thrown into. i mean, this is just unbelievable. it is unbelievable what has happened to me in this country. beyond... totally beyond, anything i could have ever, in my wildest imagination, believed was possible. it has been the exact opposite of "the american dream'. my life has been made into 'an american nightmare'. but, these flip flops, which are size 9 and somehow fit me, i just thought, 'i don't care. they're comfortable and they match what i'm wearing.' so i wore them and then thought, later, as a p.s. note to myself, 'remember where you are walking--it's a crazy world and this is exactly where you would find it appropriate to wear the crazy shoes.'

(they're just normal flip flops but they were given to me at the psych ward).

i like this 'i will be here' song by steven curtis chapman too. i sang it with someone for a wedding once.

for some reason, i have 'flex-o-feet" because i have shoes that i can wear, right now, that are size 6, 7, 8, and 9. and all of them fit.

oh, i also have a size 5 that fits but they are men sizes from the uk so it's a different approximation. but in american sizes, i have 4 different sizes of shoes that all fit my feet. if i make it up to a size 10 i will really start to wonder.
there are a lot of good people in the U.S. i think the problem is just that the wrong ones have control of things--whoever has been in the sphere or wanted to be in the sphere to affect my life. and for the good people, i wouldn't want them to feel like the losers 'won' because even when they are corrupt, it is good to remember they are the losers. those who triumph in doing the wrong thing are not 'winning". in charlie sheen's definition of 'winning' or any other one.

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