Thursday, March 31, 2011

No dreams and this morning

I haven't had any dreams for the last couple of days, which is nice. Just to have a break. I dream a lot, and remember most of my dreams and sometimes it feels exhausting. Last night I felt like someone who I have never met was very close to me but it was really weird. I suddenly had this idea come to mind as I was at the end of work leaning against the back of a chair and then I think someone (some of these psychics) picked up on it but I just laughed because it was more amusing than anything. I don't care to share what I thought of though--it was sort of flirtaceous and amusing thought or imagination. It wasn't an "image", it was just an idea that I found sort of fun to entertain for a split second and then wonder if anyone could pick up on it. Yesterday was such a pleasant lull before the storm. Today has been so crazy--technology stuff and crazy stuff. All my sentences are still being run together. I'm going to have to find out from a computer geek what the problem is. I finally got my pig book. I think it sounds so "out there" but I have also seen some sort of "out there" things and I think it's a good idea to read and be open. I have to be open to things I may not have previously put stock in, because of the things I've witnessed with my own eyes and in my own life, with realms that are clearly outside of the average experience and ability. Things in the psychic realm (christian or non-christian sources). I woke up this morning thinking about my son. That was about it. Thinking about putting his check out to him for batteries for his toys and a little extra for a small allowance and mulling the idea over of starting up a trust fund for him, even though my contribution will be a "pittance" at this point. I believe he should be compensated for his damages and really feel a lawyer could get an amazing settlement for themself and for him too, and I would be happy if every penny went to him alone. But in the meantime, I was thinking about bonds, even though they are so incredibly conservative, and other ideas. I bought some canned food the other day, which is a little odd but it helped me to think about the people in Japan and I thought I would eat some things out of a can publicly, because why should I be ashamed if this is how they are living right now? I may not have money to support people with but I thought I could remind myself. And now I get no "reward" for my efforts, because it's not in "secret" but it's not intended to be a secret but just, I guess, to help preserve my son's dignity. Instead of someone saying, "...And Oliver's mother eats lunch out of cans, and lives in a women's shelter..." it can be known that "Oliver's mother is trying to remember Japan at this time by eating out of cans publicly, and yes, Oliver's mother knows how it "looks" to eat cold food out of cans in public, with a plastic fork, at a time when she is not in good financial standing." I had beets and peas and carrots. I went to a food training today for a food handlers/alcohol training card. I wasn't applying my very best attention but there was some technology interference when I was there. I don't know who was doing it and it wasn't the whole time. But it was off and on. I passed, and that's all I care about. I didn't get a perfect score, and I don't even care. If I had not been distracted by the technology, I may have been able to get 100% even without studying, but it's not possible when someone thinks it's fun to torture you. I looked at the news later and saw the photo of this "James" guy, who shot MLK, and thought, "He has a droopy eye!" (sort of, on one of his eyes). Why are all these "killers" getting their mugs taken with one droopy eye? I mean...and most of them are Harvard associated or somehow connected to research schools for creating assassins or mind control. One has to wonder. And no, I have never had any thoughts of doing something to anyone. I am the total opposite. I completely avoid situations like that and while I can discuss matters with someone, I leave the situation if someone loses their temper or becomes violent or gets to the verge of being this way. I just leave the area or try to get away even to go about my business. I haven't seen the rest of the news yet. I see the most popular news right now is something about 1. a missing cobra found safe, and 2. prince william won't wear band. I think it is a good idea to just find other things to read right now (will probably read about these items later but it was enough to sit at a restaurant today facing a giant koala, with a row of snake art to my right, and a kate middleton look-a-like across the table from me. oh yeah, and i walked to the bus to this appointment, along a sidewalk with imitation snakes all over the sidewalk and had a pastry at the bakery of strawberry cream cheese strudel, to discover a big "S" scrawled onto the paper underneath at the bottom. S for strawberry I think, but I was also walking by snake stuff on the way to work and then had snake art lined up to the side of where I sat. It was at "The Outback" restaurant. just guess what the "kate" double was drinking: strawberry kiwi of course). I walked by the line up of homeless news vendors today, on the other side of the street, trying to be supportive without doing anything really. I tried to volunteer there and no one got back to me about it. Then, I was going to do the grant writing for the gallery and no one got back to me about that either. It is like someone is just blocking everything. Which is fine, if that's the way it is right now. What is disappointing is when someone tells you something is really serious and sincere (the grant writing) and then they seem to just back out on it, without even calling. So what was the purpose? to just get my hopes up for no other reason than to upset me?

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