Thursday, August 25, 2011

2 dreams: child torture and russian twins

I had two unusual dreams last night.

Both were fully developed, detailed, color, dreams. What was unusual was that I think I had one earlier in the night and then woke up from it and then I fell back asleep and had the other one. Can't remember for sure, but that's what it seemed like.

The first one, I woke from being very alarmed and sad. It was about a baby/child that was a victim of torture and it was represented by my son, but the age and some of the things happening to it were not my son in reality. However, it showed the kind of harsh treatment he had received. It showed him being unwrapped and evidence of extreme torture done to his genitals for one thing, and that's when I woke up. It wasn't minor. It was extreme and enough to make someone feel like passing out. For example, in my dream, instead of showing a baby whose genitals had been lasered or affected by use of horrific levels of technology, or child abuse, it showed a baby whose non-penis parts had been weighted down and stretched through torture until they were unnaturally long and distended, and it wasn't natural--it had been through torture. The baby was crying. It was permanent damage. Someone unwrapped a blanket to show me and the skin of the baby was not white, it was more like slightly darker skin, light brown or medium brown.

My dream also showed that even though there was plenty of room for him to move about, he had been intentionally confined to very tight places while a baby, after he was out of my care. I asked why he hadn't been allowed to move freely and the woman snapped at me and was cold and even though there was room for him, he had been denied this normal freedom. It had been deliberate torture to a child. I saw where my child was and then she was at the far end of the house, and she didn't even care. It was mainly about things happening to him while he was in "daycare" or at other people's houses or places. It was also with the knowledge of the State and government. And I woke up, after seeing what had been done intentionally to my son and what he had suffered.

My second dream I can't remember all of. I was talking to one man about maybe giving him some information and made an appointment. Then there were some women around but I don't remember why. The part I remember was the Russian twins. I can still see exactly what they looked like. I was walking away after making this appointment and one approached me. I didn't see the other twin at first. The one I saw had blond hair and was not super tall but somehow I knew he was Russian (or Ukraine, but I just thought "russian"). He had slacks on and a grey shirt and he walked with me and was friendly and he gave me something. Like a CD? or maybe it was something else but I knew we would meet again. Then I was talking to him and all of a sudden, I saw the other twin, and he wore a short sleeve black t-shirt with the flaps on the shoulders and slacks. I mean, I remember all the features of their faces and everything. Physique, everything. They were slender in build and one was a little taller than the other, but otherwise they looked like identical twins. Maybe a few differences, but looked so close, they were clear to be twins of some kind. So the one with a black t-shirt came over from behind and smiled and I said oh, you're twins! and he also gave me a present of some kind, or something. And then I was walking with these 2 twins and this large stolid more husky kind of Russian then came over and I thought maybe he doesn't like me, because he then gave me a "lifestyles" condom, sealed in the wrapper. It was a dark slate gray colored wrapper, with white lettering, and just one. I don't even know if they come in that color or whatever, with that brand, but it was just one and it was larger sealed wrapper, than regular size. They put them in a bag with a handle. And then I tried to explain that just because I had talked to this one man and made an appointment, it wasn't for what they thought it was for. I thought, in my dream, that was this symbolic for the idea that I was cheapening myself by interacting with the guy, or that by some exchange, it was like short-selling myself or something...I wasn't sure exactly what it was all about, because it wasn't all a bad vibe or anything. Then I just remember I had been really suprised to see what the guy was giving me and then I was explaining to them that they had the wrong idea about what my involvement was with the other guy. I don't remember the features of the larger guy. The "twins" I could find in a crowd. Sort of tanned faces, in my dream, kind of round or wide cheekbones, medium to light blond hair, taller than me but not super tall, and slender physiques and the one in the black t-shirt was wearing a belt too I think.

The main thing I remembered, was the dream about my son, who was also represented by this other baby boy.

I don't know if maybe I had the dream because right before I fell asleep I was thinking about what to study or to do and I was thinking about victims of torture and my own story, and how things have been covered up to represent me as nuts. So I had been thinking about the possibility of being a psychologist who would validate their claims of being victims of government experiments. Even U.S. experiments, because it seems no one is willing or brave enough to do the right least from the psychologists and justice department people I've met. So I was thinking about how much I would need to know about military and other technologies, and then working as a psychologist who validated the claims of people who had been written off as nuts when they weren't and when they were being used for human experimentation. I thought about how I might be attacked as being biased because of my own experiences, but thought how every psychologist is attacked as being biased, and almost all who work for the State and take State money, are not just biased, but sell-outs. I could probably also find a lot of work with CPS victims, but my idea is that CPS will soon be abolished.

CPS has no function or right to receive government monies. They have abused their authority and done far more harm than good.

But I was thinking about being a torture victims advocate and psychologist who could help people win claims, and then I had the dream about what had been done to my son.
Then I read a little scripture this morning.

I started laughing when this song came on "Teenage Dream" and I was singing to it and dancing around while getting tea, and it occured to me, I was singing, "...and let me be your teenage dream tonight"...and my eyes got wide and I thought, "This is a scandalous song! I can't ever be found singing this." So no one over the age of 18 can legally sing this song without The Thought Police finding out. Imagine some of these over-30 male lawyers singing this song loudly in their cars in stopped traffic with the windows down. Pervert. It's like the pedaphile song. I really, never, ever, want to see a monk singing or whistling this tune. Problem is, it's so catchy. I was singing along to it, all windows and door open, in a valley that echoes and carries, and then thought, "This is not a good song for me to be singing."
I decided yesterday that since I've repeatedly told my appeal lawyers about evidence the State withheld, and since none of them have been willing to get it, I am going to file my own motion and have it filed for the paper record in Appeals court. My mother said she didn't think it would help my case, but when they have already done all these things they've done, it's not going to hurt either. There is no possible way that including the evidence they withheld will hurt my case more than it's already been harmed. And not only will I have more evidence for the record, it shows that regardless, the State withheld more than one form of evidence and denied me the right to examine who was trying to prejudice others against me. There is more than photos, but they refused to even tell me who had TAKEN the photos and given them to the AG. And think about it. They had photos? but no one wanted me to know where they got them?

I can think of one thing I would have been able to point out...Lying in the report made by "Pam" from CPS. She, for example, wrote a report claiming there was "garbage 4 feet high outside the house." What does this sound like? It sounds like a mound of rotting refuse, 4 feet high...totally unsanitary...when this wasn't true and the photos proved it wasn't true. So she got away with writing up out of her imagination and exaggerating things just to get a Protective Order. If any member of my "family" was involved in taking photos to try to help the STATE, I have an immediate right to know what family members and to look at motive. I was not on good terms with all of my mother's family at that time. I remember very clearly. And I have a right to know which ones were trying to punish me or may have had a motive to harm my reputation at that time. I'm not saying all the time, but at least at that time.

Even if the conditions of the house were not good, or what they usually are or were (as my other neighbors who visited me on Methow would testify--I was a good housekeeper), I have a right to have even this information for proving my claim as a torture victim, and what the effects were. My son, myself, and the cat were all extremely ill at that time. We were being tortured. I have every right to documentation of what this country allowed to happen to me and my son.

That's aside from other important documentation, like, communications with CPS, sheriff's offices, and other law enforcment and AG, and their contact with Canadian officials. The fact that the State withheld photos, and admitted it in court, also means they allowed many others to be "privy" to information that I was not allowed to have. I do not believe CPS is my protective brother. In fact, they have done everything in their power to lie and ruin my life and try to protect themselves. They didn't have anything on me about mental illness. There was nothing, and what they refused to give the defense, was records they had which showed they were already aware that I had counseling records and mental health evaluations that cleared me of any mental illness at that time. They refused to give this evidence to the defense. The only thing they "had", said the first lawyer, was essentially, "a dirty house" (I know I had dishes in the sink). And so they had only a "dirty house" but they refused to hand over photos of that house? Sure, sure, let's just take THEIR word for it. Because, I know, I have been able to take them at their word all the way through. Lets see if their "word" on the report, matches up to the photos. What do they have to hide? For one thing, it is against the law, and all CPS policy, to file a Protective Order for a "dirty house". You do not take extreme measures because of dishes in the sink when the mother has been saying she's been sick. You also do not HUNT down the mother and child, when they're out of the country, because of a "dirty house" and create an entire fraudulent case and set the mother up for false arrest, because of "dirty dishes in the sink". I was thrown into a dog cage and taken to immigration detention facilities, after being FLOWN by a plane, to Vancouver. For dirty dishes?

And if they concealed these photos, and concealed my mental health records which had been current and showed I was not mentally ill, we know they would have concealed anything else that was possibly even more damaging to their story. Things like, the AGs communications with Canadian officials. I have a RIGHT to know what happened, and what they withheld.

And I will be taking these photos, and documents, to the UN court when I make my claim about being a victim of torture, and I will also take these photos and documents with me into court when I file for RICO against the...


It was like the "Ruby Ridge of CPS Fraud"

And we wonder why the State of Washington has a budget problem. They used taxpayer money for their little Ruby Ridge. And then they fought tooth and nail to cover for their actions. They kidnapped my son, and then freak out when I made a post about how they kidnapped my son, and start petitioning through the AG offices for "immunity from lawsuits."

I love my son.

I have proven that I love my son, and took steps most parents could not imagine taking or wouldn't have the strength to take, if they had ever been tortured as we were.

So anyway, since my lawyers for appeal have repeatedly refused to file anything about this evidence that was withheld, I'm doing that part myself. So I'm writing something up, faxing notice, and mailing it to be filed, for the paper record. In addition, I might include some of my email where I keep asking my lawyers to file a request to obtain the withheld evidence.

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