Friday, August 12, 2011

Back? Facebook Q

This is so bizarre. I went to the library to try blogger and the format is fine. But it was totally ruined on my own laptop. I don't see how this is possible. A form is a form?

I need to paste and put all this other stuff together into one post and upload my lasered arm photos. I STILL have marks. Someone else said it looked like tape was marking the lines but no, it was the density in the fold of the curtain. I am not kidding. I took photos of that too.

I have a new question about Facebook though. I have never been public on Facebook, ever. And the only time I've had an account was to email an old Jr. high friend and I was in touch with only a few girlfriends. That was it and I haven't even used it in a long time. It was totally private and no one could access it and I had a name that was made up.

So I get this invite in my email box and I wouldn't mind writing to him at all, but how could anyone find me? So I typed in a search using my name and there is a FB account for a Cameo Garrett, but that's not me.

So I am sort of wondering how FB works, because mine was extremely limited, not public, and I had only included friends I knew from Jr. high and earlier in it and that was all.

Everyone is into FB but I'm really not. I've had to spend more time trying to find help for obstruction of justice and torture than to be doing casual social networking. Everything I've had to do has been for personal safety and trying to help my son. I haven't had time to have fun, network, or meet and chat with people just for the sake of it.

I really don't think someone is "getting it".

We are torture victims.

Torture victims do not "mingle" every day, go to parties, send thank you notes on time, and hostess. They are trying to stay alive and figure things out and not be tortured. And being accused of sounding "crazy" does not increase chances that something will turn around. It turns a torture victim into a homeless person when there is no possible way this is how they would have ended up if they were not, had not been, tortured, drugged, and blacklisted.

I gave it a shot, in D.C., in trying to be social only as a means of securing some way to help my son. It was not partying. It was survival and strategy and an attempt to get my son in the shortest amount of time possible.

I demand the return of Oliver Garrett to his mother. This is not a "legal case." It's fraud, and I want someone to investigate the fraud of the entire case. That requires a criminal investigation, not a civil court proceeding.

And if there is not a criminal investigation, it is an automatic crime case to take to the UN. Unfortunately, even this kind of case is political, and I found out that the cases that are reviewed depend on who is in power at the time.

I need my rat to come forward. I guess it's not "my rat" but "the rat". Or, "a rat" that has enough to help me and my son prove our claims--the objective is to secure freedom and I believe my son should, at the very least, be compensated. For me, I deserve to have my good name restored and these events explained. I don't believe it's impossible. There has to be someone out there with access to information that actually cares or cares about others in general and thinks what's happened is wrong.

Don Diego?

I don't know. Someone knows. Someone has been equipped with enough information to be a rat. Maybe they can't get everything, or much, but has just enough to be able to validate and corroborate what I've been saying.

I bought a tiny thing of vodka today to distill the milk thistle. I waited and researched to see if apple cider vinegar can be used but I don't think it can. The only thing that draws out the most important component, is the alcohol. It's the first time I've even bought liquor since November of last year. It's not that I'm not drinking because I can't handle it--I just don't even feel it. And I don't find having it around me to be "tempting" either. I've never had a problem with any substance. I think it has to do with being able to quit certain things, if I put my mind to it. Even if I really like something, I have the willpower to quit it. But it's not like I think alcohol is bad. I realized the other day I could even become vegan and it wouldn't be a problem for me. I could give up cheese and milk and eggs. But I don't feel it's necessary. And I haven't decided to go from a vegetarian fast to a vegan one for any reason either. But it was a shock to realize that I could do it if I wanted to, and not feel really deprived either, even though I love cheese and dairy things.

I had a dream last night that included Vladdie Laddie but he was in the periphery and I don't know what he was doing. There were a bunch of people, and then I was looking at a place to stay short term and all the places were lined up on a map in a row. On either side of the street: the hostel, the hotels, and the other places and I went to one that wasn't a christian shelter, it was something for anxiety. It was just women who had anxiety issues. And they asked me to fill out a form and I was clever about the entire thing and didn't give away too much information and where it said are you married or divorced? I wrote, and had already told them I was divorced. I wrote, "I would still be married if he hadn't cheated on me" and then I woke up.

It wasn't like it was really me. I don't know. I fell asleep last night after reading about bulimia, not bc I have it but because after I posted on my blog, I had an impression of a woman throwing up bent over a toilet and crying at the same time. I didn't know if it was bulimia or not, but since I had just written about Diana and my idea of her diving, I wondered if that's what came to mind. Right after I signed off, I saw someone that sort of reminded me of her and throwing up but crying at the same time. I don't really picture bulimia people crying while they're doing this, but that's the impression I had. So I looked up bulimia to find out why people do it and it said anxiety (simplified) so maybe that's why I dreamed what I dreamed. It was crying the whole time this woman was throwing up and she was on her knees in front of the toilet, not standing and bent over.

No comments: