cinnamon

I got more cinnamon from the same place but this has something added to it. At least, it's different. The first one was finer and powdery and this has flecks of something else in it. I could tell just by tasting it first and then I looked at it and compared and it has different flecks. I have some of the other to compare it with. I might have to return it bc it's not the same product. He didn't give me a receipt either but 3 people saw me buy it so I am sure they'll give me my money back.

It wouldn't be a big deal but it's bulk product that isn't sealed and I asked him if it was the same thing as last and if I could know the name of the brand or where they got it. He said they didn't know, which is fine, but the product is looking and tasting different and I can compare it with my first buy. So since I've been poisoned in the past, I have some reservations. It's not to be picky.

Someone told me try a food bank to help with extras bc this month I couldn't go to Grocery Outlet or larger stores and I had way fewer savings. I ran out of money sooner. Also, my savings here are much different than they were in Wenatchee. At that outlet, I saved $300-$400 every single month with a $200 food budget. I got about $500-$600 worth of food for less than half that.

However, in addition to its being a different store, I was not on this weird diet that forces me to pass over a lot of things. I still got everything organic when I was pregnant and my cupboards were packed. But now, I have totally different restrictions. It is far more challenging financially.

So I ran out of money early and I have enough to eat with but someone recommended the food bank at the Catholic church. It's not put on by them, but that's where it's at.

I told my parents, I don't have concerns about the pastor doing something to the food, but this is food people choose for you and I do have concerns about the military and getting some canned item from the Gulf War. Most of the time, you're safe, but when you take things for free, sometimes, historically, the govt. has used this as an open door to take more from you than you bargained for.

Not just here, but I was thinking about Canada even. It was really weird bc the same night I wrote about how even Canada has experimented on their own citizens or allowed other countries to, I wrote about how gay people might wonder how they got AIDS and then let's hope they're the lucky one that gets chosen to receive a vaccination set up for the reason they were govt. infected to begin with. I thought to myself, how did this come to mind? because Toronto was in mind and then I looked it up and there was breaking news about how Toronto has approved a new AIDS vaccine.

I thought, oh my gosh. Did Toronto infect a population just to try their experimental vaccine?

The entire reason I brought up gays and being infected was to make my point about how the govt or hate crime groups will specifically target populations or people they are either jealous of, or to extort something out of someone (like a kid they want to adopt or sperm or eggs by "voluntary" donation after squeezing someone so its almost their only option), or the vulnerable.

The vulnerable are those groups that the majority doesn't relate to as well, or has little sympathy for.

You could have something in common with the middle to lower middle class and have their sympathy and understanding if you're discriminated against for not having as much money. But if any group is able to defame you as being "criminal", "crazy", "dishonorable", "immoral", they will gain the upperhand in being able to get away with torture and even have the govt. fund it. Even political allegations of being "unpatriotic" will give them the edge.

The entire point is to prevent the majority and population at large ("the people") or even a sub-section of the people, from relating and having sympathy and wanting to help.

If they can alienate you, it means that those who are jealous of you, will succeed in their efforts to bring you down and keep you down. And others who just need guinea pigs for research, don't have to worry about the ability of the victim to defend themself.

For example, who is going to fight for the men who were victims of LSD experiments by the U.S.A. on U.S.A. soil? No one. The U.S. didn't even have to worry about a lawsuit, did they? What lawyer fought for the men who "used prostitutes and broke the law"? No one did. So the CIA knew ahead of time, how to directly target a "vulnerable" population. Whether made "vulnerable" by their own mistakes or not, that's what they go after. So AIDS. Even with all the gay-rights stuff, you're not going to find a lot of people with sympathy for the gay woman who says the U.S. infected her with AIDS. Most citizens would think, yeah gay rights and everything--party on!--but also secretly think to themselves, "well, she's engaging in 'risky' behavior so who knows how it happened. It's probably her fault." Other conservatives would say they sinned and that's how they got it and even if they don't say this and know it was an injection, they are not going to rally for a lawyer to fight for her against the U.S.

They don't relate. The U.S. and other governments already know this.

They know that anyone who is in prison, or a psych ward (or called mentally ill), or is a child, or mentally disable, or who is "unpatriotic" (falsey or not--called a terrorist or activist), or who is outside of the norm in any regard, is vulnerable.

If you combine these things with poverty, you have the perfect victim.

This works for facilitating hate crimes.

If a group manages to defame someone as being one or all of the above, or provoking someone to elicit a response they know will alienate them from others, they are working at an objective of separating that person from any form of sympathy.

Then, it's a piece of cake to turn them over to be tortured for "research".

Maybe the person isn't different at all from how they were once viewed. Maybe they are not even someone who would be in the vulnerable category. They might not have any condition or circumstance or actual firmly held viewpoint that should alienate them.

If a group can defame someone well enough, however, all it takes to bring someone down is disinformation. Disinformation, or misinformation, along with defamation, and then harassment. The purpose of harassing someone repeatedly and committing hate crimes with the cover of law enforcement, is to make the victim feel helpless to the point that after a lenght of time, they get angry or frustrated or upset, and say or do something in that moment, that is captured and separated from all the good this individual does.

Then it's used against the person, as a false proof for the original defamation.

"See! we weren't lying! look! did you hear that? did you see that? he did this! she did that!"

They could say the most incredible, damaging, and horrific things and to back it up, most people might not have any idea what is going on to drive the person to "snap" from their natural patience and long-suffering and finally do something that is out of upset or, make pleas for help that others can then point to as "undignified."

Undignified.

Like it's dignified for me to be 37 and where I am right now.

I went from showing clear strength and independence at a very early age, owning and buying my own house at age 21, starting my own business, having success with college...

To what? trying to do nothing but maintain that same independence that others were so jealous of.

It's degrading for me to be forced to address my family as if I'm 10 years old, and forced to rely on them and welfare because of U.S. funding--full financial support, of my torture. It's degrading to have me relinquish my rights, abilities, and independence and work at 1% of my capabilities for almost 10 years because some group got mad and jealous and wanted an excuse to use me as a target for mockery. It's degrading. It has been degrading and it is degrading. It's degrading for me to have to try to make desperate pleas for help through a blog and write about personal things I would normally NEVER write about. It is degrading for me to break my natural ability to keep confidences, for the sake of attempting to find out who is responsible for torturing me and my son and trying to find help. It's degrading for me to be drugged and medicated, with and without my consent and knowledge, and then react to these things in ways that would be embarressnig to anyone--to react in ways that I can never recover from personally, because of documentation made during the reaction (which can be used against me at any given time, while denying I've ever been illegally medicated or drugged). It is degrading for me to talk about things that make me sound crazy which I can't prove tangibly, like use of technology against me. It's degrading to kidnap my son from me while knowing there is nothing wrong with me. It is cruel and degrading treatment.

I have a very long list of things which meet the standard for cruel and degrading treatment and that is not even touching upon torture.

It is one thing to be bullied by a group or reduced to tears. It's another thing when this group has people in the CIA who are enablers. Who are in the military as enablers. And who are in the FBI acting as enablers of the worst forms of torture and hate crime.

Before they could torture me, they had to defame me. And they had to remove obstacles in their way to keep me from securing the sympathy of others, and most importantly, lawyers.

Not last night but the night before, after looking up Anne Crain/Crane and writing about this association to the FBI (which, literally, 5 different people who were almost strangers to me told me about...from TN to WA to OR), I looked up SAC Julie Thornton-Laurie/Laura Laughlin.

It's supposed to be Laurie Laughlin but she had a name change to Laura Laughlin when she went to Seattle. And she matches the person I met who told me their name was "Julie Thornton" (I am dead serious).

I found her FBI photo and I've always just had the standard screensaver from acer and microsoft.

I put "Laura Laughlin" as my screensaver. I tried stretch and it was too colorful and took up my whole screen. I tried wallpaper and while this fits her multiple images scheme, it was too busy. So I just put her photo right in the center, and then for the background color, black or darker colors matched the darker jacket and everything, but I liked white. I thought white made her photo stand out like a photo from an FBI MOST WANTED ad. If I knew how to add text, I'd write my own ad for her, but I'm not "that smart".

My point, is that I am tortured because of hate crime the FBI didn't investigate and protect me and my son from.