Tuesday, January 17, 2012

what my parents can do

I am only writing this for our own protection.

I don't know what my Dad thought I might wear today but he came up in the car wearing what I was wearing almost, bc I had added to what I had on, and then I took it off again.

But who knows. He is totally tortured. I don't know who is doing this to him but they need to be locked up for a very long time. It's bad enough when you can't see the evidence, and when it looks like that, it has to be bad.

My blisters that I got from the lasering, literally, the pain from that "hit" was, if I had to rate it next to the other worse things done every day, would be like someone pinching me for a second. That's how much it hurt. It barely hurt at all and yet it burned my skin which formed blisters instantly.

Do you have any idea how painful the rest of this is? And the thing is, you cannot see it. There is no evidence bc there is no external wound or burn. If you started taking other kinds of samples from us you might find something going on with our blood within minutes or hours of what is done, maybe even months. You might also start finding internal issues and problems that, over time, manifest outwardly.

The laser mark didn't warrant my taking 1 aspirin or advil. Yes it hurt. But it was pain equalling 1 aspirin next to pain I've tolerated that is equals 5-10 mg morphine everyday with a few sporadic jumps up to 30 or 40 mgs for several minutes or even a half hour.

It's torture. And the migraines triggered, were easy 20 mgs mophine equivalence except I would multiply that number because when you are living with constant 20 mgs of severe pain, day after day, it adds up and turns into worse pain, like that which would require 40 mgs of morphine or more.

The pain my son and I endured? I was already on 10 mgs oxycodone and maybe went up 10 mgs or a few more one time. It did nothing to touch the pain. From that base, of already being on painkillers, the pain was equivalent to 50 mgs morphine constant, and sometimes going up to 100 mgs because of the day after day effect.

I expulsed a handful of blanched body tissue upon arrival in Canada, with my stomach searing in pain from whatever they gave me. It helped my migraine, but whatever was in the mix, went right to the stomach lining that was literally being burned.

I might compare it to lasering off dead cartilage from healthy cartilage. Except it's technology used to torture and it's burning from the outside but affecting the inside. So whatever I got, went to the burned and inflammed areas where there was already dead tissue because of damage, and it caused it all to be sloughed out of my body.

To the point they asked if I had a miscarriage. And there was no blood. It was a huge mass of white tissue.

What I'm saying is you can't measure everything by appearance. You HAVE to take testimony for testimony today because forms/methods of assault have changed.
Today (yesterday) I was planning to go to the store and return some things but I waited.

While I waited my mom had said she was going to do cleaning and it's what I did bc a section got moldy (not really, not like houses I've lived in) from condensation from my showering so I dried it out and wiped everything down with eucalyptus oil I tinctured (diluted).

I got out in the morning and my mother already had colors out for things I was carrying over and planning to wear. Then, bc some of the stuff I was carrying, stank so bad, like that chemical, I noticed it more when I was out of the shower and put the worst smelling things into the laundry. So it changed what I had planned to wear for the day. Then I walked out and saw my Mom had clothing of the same colors I ended up wearing laid out and she picked one item up and said I could have it and that she had some other clothes for me too. Nothing I loved--not my style, but for around the house sure, and there was a green shift dress I liked. It's too big and the waist is a little high, like for a pregnant woman, but I could probably still pull it off maybe later in the spring or summer. Summer I guess, since it's too cold here in the spring. So then I said could I bring other things over and she said yes, I said because they all stink, and I decided to wrap them in one of my cobalt blue blankets and take it all over. I got over to the other door and saw my mother had a blue duffel bag the same color, with little white polka dots set out and had this next to the black trash bag. She never has that bag out. And I had just brought all my laundry over in a blanket the same color, which I never use to carry things in, and I was wearing white and black. So I set my heap down where she said and then noticed how it laid out, with the blue and then a little red,and a black and white sock poking out to the side. And these were the colors she had out on a different section of that room. They were on a book with a navy or military person with a salute to the forehead of the hand.

Anyway, almost everything I do my parents know ahead of time. I thought my mom was just cleaning, not predicting I would clean, but that's what I did because my head hurt too bad to sit at a computer and I didn't get on the computer except to look up a number. My head actually hurts a little right now too but I'm forcing myself to write this before I forget.

I got back to my place and made coffee and grabbed a liner out of the drawer and it was one that had polka dots on it (couple different kinds my mom gave me). Then, I went to my closet to put things away and noticed I had a black trash bag like the one on the floor which I was to take out (and did) right at the bottom of my closet where I'd forgotten about it. Next to it was a t-shirt with polka dots on it, to the right.

So my mom put the polka dot bag in her hall, to the left and the black trash bag to the right and inside of my closet the polka dot shirt was on the top of the pile to the right and the black trash bag to the left. Mirror opposites. My mom hasn't been in my house since it's been this way either, and she couldn't have known I was carrying over a blue blanket of laundry that matched the bag either. I mean, she wasn't in my house first.

My mom and I would have been mirror opposites too, bc I had planned to wear a black sweater over some other things but the chemicals got in the way.

Also, I think she can mind control the dog. She might be able to at least and it's her dog. I called the dog to come to me from across the yard and he came running, and he comes to me easily, and likes me. Then he was right at my door and he didn't come in. I was standing there holding the door open but around the corner so he couldn't see me. Usually he'd come in anyway. Well, I see him trotting back to my parent's house and my mom was looking at him over the couch by the window, which she never does and I don't think he saw her, he just intuited or knew to go back to her. That's only a guess, but he really did act differently.

I've wondered, if people can read other people's minds, what about animals? Is it possible to sort of communicate with animals in ways most people don't? I think I'm intuitive with them but I'm not gifted with reading people's minds so I don't know about animals. C'mere Lassie! Laaaaaaassie!

Anyway, my Dad came around the corner as I was thinking about putting on my pajama shirt (which is flannel check) over what I wore, just to sneak in warmth under my coat and then I decided no, but I WAS wearing my pj bottoms under my jeans bc I was washing my other leggings. And he had on a checkered coat over a grey shirt and I had just put on a checkered pj shirt on over my b&w and then over this checkered pj I put on my coat turned inside so the grey side showed.

So basically, at the moment he pulled up the driveway, I was wearing the exact inverse of what he was wearing.

And I would have been wearing the inverse of what my Mom wore first, as I had thought in my mind, except for the smell that I noticed so I ended up with white/cream over black instead of the reverse as I'd planned.

But then yes, before my Dad got out of the car and before I saw what he was wearing, I had changed to maybe go downtown to walk and wanted to be warmer so I put on the checkered pj over my b&wh and buttoned up halfway and then I had my grey coat over that.

Almost direct inverse of shirts with my mom, and then with my Dad yes. But then I decided, "Would God want me to go to town in a pj shirt? I like it! and I like the colors! but othes might know it's a pj shirt and make fun of me and that wouldn't be glorifying to God." (not that this is how I always think or reason bc God is a do as you please person a lot of the time I think, but that's why I took off the pj shirt and then I didn't want to wear grey or plain black on a dreary day without the red somewhere so I just put on a red overcoat.

If I had been wearing black sweater, it may have been a blue overcoat, or something, and it didn't look too bad with the bright red plaid (very scottish i thought) and the grey coat over it, but it just crossed my mind that some would make fun.

But they pretty much got everything right. And this is what they can do and do every day, and when they're not tortured like I am, they can do a lot more. We are all being tortured and we need help.

(I had originally thought to wear green,cream, and tan and had some black too and was going to layer everything for warmth. The pencil on the counter was these same colors and said "Friends of the Coquille Valley Hospita" and I thought, yeah, I don't think they're my friends when they're saying I need SSI when they're using me for black ops in their own ER)

So they are definitely gifted, and you can't help it if suddenly my sense of smell picks up out of nowhere and I notice something got smoked out with chemicals.

There are much bigger things they can do too, but it's easy stuff to notice, that I notice, and it's harder to write about the bigger things.

Like the mind reading of thoughts. Of conditions, and of premonitions of emotions that will come up in a few hours or several days. Some things were predicted decades earlier.

Which is why we're (they're) hated by some. It's why we are being tortured, in part, but I didn't realize this was some of it. I thought all of it was about my offending people in lawsuits or 1992 offenses or something. But there is more and that's where the jealousy and hatred got in the way.

People don't like that kind of power--some don't, unless they can control it or quash and tamp it altogether.

Anyway, others do this around here. I won't name names but some guy was walking ahead of me and said, before seeing me "YES". Just that and nothing else. SO I was walking or running up again, having stopped somewhere, and as I approached I thought to him, "Say NO" and he didn't but he turned and looked at me in shock. Even if I can't read their minds, it freaks some of these people out, who are trying to read YOUR mind, to start "talking to them" with your thoughts. FREAKS them out. "Yeah, I'm talking to you Irish woman who looks like Judy Dench from 007..." She turned and stared back at me, looking at me in fear and shock. that was at the women's shelter. I could think-talk to her and she knew exactly who I was talking to. So even if you can't personally read minds, you can still wig em out for fun. And then the other night this eucalyptus man, anyway, knew how I'd cough before I coughed and then knew what I think-talked to him in a question after it and when I turned to look back at him he sort of nodded but still looked forward. He didn't even turn around to acknowledge me but I knew he knew.

But there are lots of people like that, maybe more in some towns where they run black operations for the government and steal children from the parents.

I want my son Oliver back.

I am not kidding about this-- and I'm also not kidding about what religoius hate criminals in govt have done to us. It's not like they were nice and said, "Ms. Garrett, would you like to learn about? and let us know if you feel uncomfortable at any time."

No. They tortured me. They didn't even do it for "research", they just did it to ruin my life. They allowed rapists to rape me and did nothing. They made fun of me and let people get away with horrible defamation in newspapers that have affected my entire life since. They triggered migraines that hindered me from work, college, and pursuing an avenue to simply restore my name--not get rich...I wasn't worried about my own ability to work hard and have some skills and make my own money. I knew my reputation though, meant something, so I had to sue out of defense of my name.

They tortured me for decades. Then they laid it on to the point of trying to get me to self-destruct and commit suicide. They withheld pain relievers for the torture as well. And then they tortured my son.

So no. You cannot have my son and every other govt. around the world will know by my descriptions, that I'm NOT lying about these things.

I want my son back and no, I can't file things legally when I'm being tortured, so this country is still guilty of war crimes, violations of treaties, and is actively torturing my entire family--they are obstructing justice to help their friends who have nothing to do with govt work or research==they're just criminals who want a convenient cover.

It may sound really strange to normal people who aren't around this kind of thing, to hear me say I think-talked back to someone, but you just don't understand then. Which is why I'm trying to explain by even writing about some of it.

Because, by the way, the U.S. decided to work on my head for a migraine today and I knew what it was and I knew because after they so dramatically targeted the back of my head to create massive swelling, I was aware enough of the fact that all they have to do is lower the severity and make it feel like a constant duller stab but it's still technology and not a true migraine.

I already know what they got away with for decades. So I would like to know who it is in the military or CIA that has a problem with me.

I could figure out the huge vandalism and hate crime for being hate crime, around the time of prelitigation or people getting mad and everything, but um...assassination attempts? triggering seizure and migraines? beginning in 1992 and then starting it all over again, most pronounced when I was working for Carl and Mary DelBalzo and then to CTR? And ever since. And got away with it, too... all that time, until it took a different turn making it impossible to describe as anything but torture.

How come so many people knew about it? Most didn't, when it was just migraine.

So who has a problem with me? Just torturing citizens for fun these days? innocent ones? trying to knock 'em out of line or something?

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