One of my wheat sprouts.
I Samuel 3:8-10
Jeremiah 23:25-32
(this photo and verses were added later, @ 12:55, a little earlier for the photo. I then thought, God show me something that you want me to share that will be encouraging to someone or is something you want even if it has nothing to do with me. I turned to the part about Samuel being called and then read and reflected and next turned at random to Jeremiah right to the side and section about false prophets and, sort of cool, going with this photo in a way, it says, "What does straw have to do with grain?" I suppose I think it's great just bc I wanted something to go with this photo. The part about Sam I don't get, for me personally I mean, but in an artistic sense, very cool to have a photo of a piece of grain! with a grain verse. Well now! Anyway. Maybe it means something to someone or is something for a starting point as I often find myself on trails and ideas from one small spark.)
I don't feel like myself and have no energy. Less torture lately, a little less, thankfully, but I am still tired. I was working on the OIG and a little UN research but I also turned on classical radio and prayed and found these things:
Sat down and turned it on and while listening opened Bible and was on I Kings. At the part where she tells Nathan, this other guy became King. What about my son Solomon? I'm sitting there with just a blank page and three names on the page, the first, separately, being NATHAN. Nathan is this prophet and he tells her, you need to go to David and let him know and remember his promise to you and then I will follow after and confirm the same thing. She goes to him and he is old on his bed, and she bows down to him and tells him. Then Nathan comes in to back her up. So then it's a contrast of the one king being annointed with the horn of oil and the other one holding onto the horns of the altar, worried that now Solomon is king, he'll kill him. Bathsheba tells David, if this other son becomes king, he will make us all out to be criminals.
I put my Bible down and the radio guy says, "That was the 12 walzes by Schubert, Las Noble". Then it was the sentimental waltzes next. So I listened to this and then prayed for all the countries for a minute and then decided to pray for some random towns from this U.S. atlas there so I opened at random and pointed to Pistol Rock. It was Idaho! So I looked to see how far from my Grandpa Garrett's cabin this was and then looked it up online and found from the book AFalcon, first I was landing on p. 33 and it said, "use a small saddle to get past Ghost Mountain." Then I tried to find something about the Pistol Rock and went to the index and found it was in the section for "Big Baldy and Indian Creek" so I went to page 98 and read through pg. 102, and it includes information about a tower there. Which is interesting because this morning I looked in the door and saw someone (I think my Dad) had set out this big box and it said in huge words "Towers". I guess I thought twin towers but then the thing I found all day today was this tower where Big Baldy and Indian Creek are (joining to Pistol Rock). There is even a map of the mountains and streams. I think I've actually landed on this before so that's odd. It would be the second time at total random. Payette is called "Eagles-Eye".
When I saw "Towers" my first association was the Princes in the Towers. The Tower of London actually, was first. And then it was The Twin Towers. I thought of Tower of London first bc of the persecution and false arrests and hostage taking and torture my family is enduring because of the end of "fair competition". I did notice some brush fires from one coast to the next in the last day or two and thought about it. Since I was tortured at this church meeting, whoever usually targets has tortured me a little bit less. Hasn't quit, but a little less. I am concerned for my family though, that if I don't make a torture complaint this will not end and my son will be held hostage. I cannot even focus on legal things because they blasted me with such force for so long. And this is the U.S.? my country? I had to take part of an Ativan just to function at all today. Someone stole all of the money I had and my ID as well. As if they haven't taken and tortured enough. I could not even write tonight or sit down at my OIG complaint without getting up and feeling like pacing. I felt like Charlie. How I imagine him pacing at least. That's how I felt inside. So I definitely have PTSD in a mild form still, but how incredible I haven't cracked, even with torture that would drive some crazy or into a nursing home. So even if I am tortured a little less these few days, how can I know this is true for my parents? I ran over and stood on the porch where my mother had been a fraction of a second before and got a huge blast of some kind of technology to my pelvis and stomach. It was not mild. I am not sure if it was intended for me or my mother.
I got so far as looking up how to send the complaint to the UN and where to and the process and I borrowed a little sugar to keep myself awake and cooked with oil tonight, and then gave my mother some oil I had distilled and a pouppouri thing. That's all I could do all day and I almost slept all day instead so I am sure that despite whatever I got jacked up with, I am rightly depressed.
Who wouldn't be.
I am now forced to take disability? just to go to college? just to smear my name further? Fine. I argued against it as it ruins the contractual nexus defense and makes me more vulnerable but I'll just add it to my list of things the U.S. hate groups forced me to do here, and I will make sure the UN knows it wasn't voluntary. Just because I agree to do something doesn't mean I am not being coerced, extorted, or forced to it. Sort of like the Phillipines contract. They signed away all their property to the government and signed a deal not because they wanted to, but because they were forced to and coerced and later courts held it to be all invalid. No such thing as a valid contract when one is pressured. So hence, I will sign into contractual nexus to then argue it is invalid. The U.S. cheated on me, and dissolved any contractual nexus by torturing me and my son. I don't know which kind I will apply for. I could probably qualify for any of them.
Then I prayed for the place and then I prayed again and said I'd pick one other place at random to pray for and look up and it was in Chicago, IL, called Downers Grove. It says it was founded by Pierce Downer who was attracted to the grove of oak trees he discovered after so many prairies. It was also an underground railroad stop. It's next to the Indian Boundary YMCA, William Gregg Museum and Natl. Shrine for St. Therese (the little flower). This DJ on classical just said he's playing some song about rose in the meadow next...hmm, he isn't playing it now. He said before the break he was next playing a song about a rose in a meadow but now he's playing something else. It's 11 p.m. and he made mention of the rose a few minutes earlier. I like these other ones he's playing though. Sort of Chopin-ish, moonlight sonata-like. Anyway, the song playing when I found Downers Grove was very nice, with french horn, and arranged by Carl Cherny (Cherzny?), composed by Schubert. It played until 10:32 p.m. and I liked that one a lot. I noticed Wheaton is not far and that was the only Bible college I considered. It was the smaller womens-only colleges I liked and then I also though Wheaton sounded alright for religious or Bible aspects-studies. They had a good English lit./writing program for a christian college.
On that note, had to check my wheat sprouts and they are sprouted, just budding now. It's the first time I've sprouted wheat berries.
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