Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Torture To Force Catholic Relationship

Today this country used technology to torture me with lasers or some kind of warming of my body but not a lot, and with the neck thing but not a lot until tonight.

My Dad came home at about 3 p.m. and looked like he'd been tortured all day and you could tell from his eyes. And right before my Dad came home, with disconnecting my internet and trying to force me to add a password.
My Mom I don't know.

So this country used severe enough levels of torture to drive me out of my house. I couldn't even stay in it and had to leave in the middle of the night just now. I went to the door and my Mom asked what and I said I was driven out of the house because "they just tortured me".

Then she looked shocked and said, "Tortured? you used past tense."

Why did I use past tense actually, when I am being tortured. It has never stopped. So I guess there is no past tense. I suppose when they suddenly jack it up to the point of driving me out of my house, and it's that severe and extreme, I refer to that isolated incident as having "been tortured" after it lessens. Even if I'm still in the middle of being assaulted.

Last night they drove me out of my house while I was trying to write. They kept disconnecting power and actually, all day today they did this so I was never able to work on the important things I was trying to focus on. They deliberately shut down my power so many times, it was distracting me from getting my work done. I had to fix the power over 20 times in one hour. I had to leave my place, flip a breaker when there wasn't enough power that should have triggered it, and then go in and then as I was sitting down, it would go off again, and repeatedly, and without any power to it.

My Mom and Dad know I'm being tortured because they are too but they don't talk about it. Then I said the people controlling this country are trying to force me out.

Note the pattern. First they're forcing me out of my houses and States, and next it's the entire country. But they never let me go either. They torture me and block me from leaving. She said they could give me a bus ticket to where I want to go and I said there is no place in the United States I want to go.

Why would it be any different any other place in the U.S. when it's religious hate crime operating the U.S. government?

She said I needed to get my life in order and I said there was nothing wrong with it and I've done nothing wrong. I can't control if people torture me, force me out of lawsuits, defame and mock me, steal my child and try to steal him before he's even born...

She said yes you have (done things wrong) and actually, I've not. I've been an excellent nanny and employee and that's what I did until I was in college and then I was an excellent student who then help up 2 excellent lawsuits. I don't drink, smoke, or party, and never have, aside from 2 months smoking, drinking on an occasional weekend, and that's it.

My mom said, "You've slept with men, and you are filled with hate and bitterness...." and I said, "No. I've not slept with a bunch of men and I don't take responsibility for being raped or assaulted when they knew I was too drunk or drugged." And to say I'm "filled with hate" is also something they know isn't true. They know that anyone who is tortured hates those who torture them or that they are torturing. I don't have to have someone explain to me that I shouldn't like these people, because they are defective. So if I express rage or pain in the middle of torture, that's not "being filled with hate and bitterness." And choosing a couple of relationships is different from being forced to have sex because someone drugs you or knows you are far beyond capacity for consent.

Up until age 24 I was a virgin and then raped. After that, I was in one small relationship and broke up and then I was date-raped by Robin Bechtold, if I'm coming straight out to call it as it was, with a witness who knows. That was not chosen by me and whoever is doing this in the government really likes the Bechtolds. I say this because I had a definite surge of torture when I wrote about him and I already know some Irish Catholic cops and Italians in CA hate me. I mean, I was being run off the road in 1992 over him. Some kind of perceived offense after he chased me down with his car and almost ran me off the road. I complained he almost ran me off the road so his friends or someone ran me off the road to show me how it was done. After that, there was nothing until I was 28 or 29 and then a couple of isolated incidents where I was under the influence and not with capacity. And yes, Alvaro did almost date-rape me as well but he stopped because the phone rang and then after that it was consensual later. And yes, he did force me to kiss him. And yes, Chris Rozollo defamed me to a bunch of Wenatchee police who then perpetrated a story around town that I was a prostitute. Knowing I wasn't. Most of my dating and relationship experience has been while being celibate. So I have not "slept with men" in a noticeable way and I've never used substances in my life, to any excess or at all, and I have tried to be a good employee and student and instead have had jealous people get away with crimes. Is it any wonder that some of these men who abused me know eachother already? While I was medicated and drugged, I was taken advantage of a few times, and that's not "sleeping around", not in the Kathy Kirscher sense of it.

What hasn't been tolerated or allowed, is for me to have a normal life and be single and celibate and have my lawsuits and keep my good name. No, I've been forced out of work and housing and college and then told I have to take a man to get by, as a favor to the U.S., and that it's the only way they won't torture me. That's what's happened. I have repeatedly tried to retain my independence, and done far better than some might in the conditions, to the point of refusing to be in relationships and being tortured instead just to keep my own dignity.

And someone is going to fault me for that? Well they do. Then they say I'm mentally ill. So my choices, to make Catholics in U.S. government happy, have been to be called mentally ill and tortured, or to give up my independence and be in a relationship or marriage with a man. Catholic man. Because if he's Catholic, then they don't do anything. And how long have I been writing about torture and how I am tortured?

If you subtract the length of my being tortured by the length I've agreed to stay in relationships where I'm coerced to do so, you might have almost zero evidence for claiming I sleep around. Someone who sleeps around will easily and often give up their autonomy and go into a sexual relationship in exchange for not being tortured. That's not me and that's why I have been tortured, because I have refused to have criminals push me into a position they want which does not benefit me, my son, or my values and beliefs about "free will".

So that's how people get out of being experimented on or tortured out of religious hate crime. They get forced into a union with the group that is committing the hate crime, or go to it willingly. Are Bill and Melinda Gates being tortured? When is the last time the U.S. military and CIA decided to torture them and follow their habits? or anyone who is Catholic. Name a group of Catholics in the U.S. today who are being tortured the way I am. NONE. It's because this isn't about research. It's not about politics. It's about religion and abuse of power.

How many times, while being tortured, have I called up my Ex? Did I call him? How many times, under horrific conditions and torture? almost never. And I never called any other man. Which means, it's pretty hard to say I sleep around and that I don't have high standards. First of all, I had the standards to not have sex until marriage and that was ruined at age 24. Then I had the self control to not jump into a relationship just to have one, and that was until age 28 and then I made mistakes with trusting people.

Then, wow. Torture all this time, and worse from the age of about 29, so that's extreme levels of torture from age 29-37. And look at how much I've bent to the will of others. From age 29-37, that's 8 years, and probably by now, I would be tired of it. Or in Wenatchee after they started it up again when I split from my Ex, most normal people would try to get back together with their Ex. Wouldn't they?

Well. I am NOT NORMAL. That's not mentally ill, and that's not being stupid either. It means my standards are high, and exceptionally high, and you can torture my heart, head, and brains and feet out and you're still not going to extract anything from me that you hoped to gain aside from the destruction of a life which you are accountable for. So torturing me doesn't make me "easy" or willing to be with a man, and it doesn't drive me into the arms of someone for a loving relationship if that's not what I need at the time or want to focus on. Anyone with slightly more lax morals would have given up and done whatever a long time ago. People without morals go for men just for their money, or to help themselves into a better position. And most normal people, given the choice, would choose a halfway there relationship even, if they thought it would help. Plenty of people live with half-hearted relationships or "good enough" ones. Or use them to further careers and social standing. And I have not, and the religious clergy have always been determined, with these lawyers, to try to turn me into some kind of bimbo. Funny how I'm not the one in the monastery and I'm carrying their cross. How many of them are suffering from torture?

My guess...NONE.

And they already know this. So they already knew and know and they enjoy taking an opportunity to torture me and my entire family. It's not religious hate crime? then what's the point? Objective is: "let's see how far we can drive...let's see if we can create...our strategy is to..."

There is no objective for haters. Haters just hate and make excuses for it.

I pretty much follow the rules, and have a moral life, which is more than I can say for those who torture us.

They just did it again, at 11:05 p.m. They just pulsed a very strong surge of technology to my neck and affecting my mercury filling. They have done this several times.

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