Monday, January 9, 2012

Where I Left Off (due to torture)

I got back to my OIG complaint, after taking massive drugs,detoxing with ascorbic acid, and breaking my Vegan policy (sorry Vegans! but I do a pretty good job most of the time!) to nurture myself so I could rev up to work.

I have been totally blasted with technology of the meanest kind, and on top of the metal targeting, today, until I brought it up at 1 p.m., ultrasound to my pelvis and lower back. I guess it's ultrasound period, but it is felt there most due to the bodies composition. When I said I was being targeted with ultrasound, just like they targeted me and my son in E.Wenatchee, then someone quit.

My neck hurt so badly, I haven't been able to do anything. I took the naproxen and tylenol but it doesn't help this kind of pain. After I took the tylenol it started feeling better but I think that's because someone stopped using technology. When they quit using ultrasound, that's when I felt I could eat. So I realized it wasn't the pain from my neck that kept me from not wanted to eat, it was ultrasound.

Which made me think about how skinny my son is now.

When I didn't have strong enough painkillers, I went to my Mom's house and asked to just see if it was better there. Because on Sunday, it was bad on their porch--my neck was hurting--and then inside nothing. Today,it was inside their house. So I sat up as close as I could to the woodstove and warmed my face and neck and hands, crouched there and pressing on my neck. I then saw the box of chocolates to the right and asked if I could have a couple. She said yes. I normally wouldn't, bc it's not Vegan, but in times for exception..this was one of them. I thought about how soldiers even take chocolate to sea and battlefield, and people have used it to keep their strength and spirits up. So I reasoned it was okay and who cares, this day about the other disorder when I am in severe pain. I pulled the box over and then sort of smirked because it said "Russel Stover" and I was a russet sitting by the stove.

I ate one very slowly, one covered with the milk chocolate and the brittle sort of wafer stuff in the middle. Then a caramel, etc. Didn't help the pain but slightly distracted. And then later I got 2 chocolate chip cookies. I couldn't eat anything though until they turned off the ultrasound. And then I remembered, this is a side effect of ultrasound--lack of appetite.

Most of the pain went away after I blogged about the ultrasound to my pelvis and back.

I went back to my complaint to find where I had left off and I noticed it was after I wrote something small about Middletons, that I was tortured 10x worse. Maybe coincidentally, but I had thought it was after I wrote about the priest assaulting me but it got worse when I wrote about Bechtolds, a little worse when I wrote about the priest, and then I was incapacitated after I mentioned a Middleton.

Which today has me thinking over and over why and it must be that if my own country tortures me over this, one of the Middletons works for the CIA. I cannot think of any decent reason that would explain it. And really, my complaint is mainly about other things, 99% other things. I just think it's odd enough to be counted though. If I wrote about Middletons and it was UK, the UK isn't going to forge onto U.S. land and turf and start attacking me. U.S. that supports them for some reason, some political thing, these individuals might gang up against me for whatever reason, but it wouldn't be my own military or Department of Defense unless they are torturing me and mocking me now and then as a pledge of allegiance to that family. And what's odd, is they did this in Wenatchee and Tennessee both. I had things done to me which were of punitive nature as if I had offended Kate Middleton (or her parent) personally so they wanted to show support by attacking me and putting me in psych ward to inject me with Haldol before her happy occasion.

My problems have not all been about them. So I am focusing on what is really the problem here, and what has happened here. But there are still things I discover, and it just seems like one of them must be working more with CIA than MI5. That's my opinion, and I have no factual basis for it, nor do I have any intuitive ideas on it. I'm only stating this as an idea.

For whatever reason some group quit torturing me for a few minutes, I'm glad.

I took the Ativan and didn't want to take it. I don't like dope-up stuff. I really truly have never been a substance abuser or addicted to anything. I have liquor in my house I've never touched, and cookies which tempt me which I never touch. And honestly, I know there are people who like their "uppers" and some like their "downers", even in things like coffee (upper) or beer (downer). I am much more of an upper person. I don't want to "relax" or "slow down" or "take it easy". I want to get things done! I want to feel creative, and focused, and NOT drugged, and able to accomplish tasks. I suppose wine is fine now and then, or liquor, for a social thing or after a lot of hard work, then maybe a glass to reward, but otherwise, no thanks. I do like "valerian" as an herbal supplement for being relaxing but I never buy it because my goals are not to relax. I have been trying to work hard and the only thing obstructing me is torture from technology.

Also, Ativan does NOT help with pain. It'll put you in a coma, but it's not a painkiller. And when my neck was hurting so bad, Ativan and Naproxen didn't help.

I think I could put a lot of my claim, with regard to technology used on my son and I, could attribute it to ultrasound. Both he and I had times where I made dinner and it was good food and neither of us could hardly eat we were in so much pain. We just picked at it. It was extremely, extremely harsh and dangerous levels of ultrasound, and constant. The other technology that caused all the muscle twitching, I am still not sure what that is but I think it has something to do with MRI and satellite technology.

If my son were given back to me instantly, due to lack of jurisdiction, that's the only time I'd consider going on psychical disability short term to provide for extra income while in college. But being in college would be enough to support him with and if I needed more, I could do that, if I were not working. I can work and there is nothing wrong with my ability to work other than being targeted to be tortured.

I don't have enough time to research and write the same quality of motions I have in the past, because I've been and I'm being tortured. I wasn't being tortured then, aside from occasional migraines. I also had my car still, and college. The situation has nothing to do with what my brain can do and has everything to do with the fact that all my resources and capabilities have been blocked and even if someone stopped all of that today, there is no possible way to catch up.

Impossible. 100% impossible. I didn't get the ideas handed down to me, or read anyone's legal mind, or germinate legal theories spontaneously. I worked very very hard and studied at the law library night and day, refusing to be distracted by anyone or anything, and that's why I was able to do well (until they laid on the torture). AND, I had some tools available to me, and resources, and since I wasn't being tortured every day, I studied the law everyday for at least 1 year.

All that's happened since I proved I can do some great things, is that I'm been stripped of any and all resources which provide me with the tools and resources needed. And torturing me every single day makes it IMPOSSIBLE.

As for can make a cake without any eggs, but you can't create a living breathing form of life without any eggs. I can't breathe life into a lawsuit or claim without eggs. I can write letters and do a lot of cooking, and end up with a wacky cake to eat while being tortured, and appear to be living myself, but I can't create something out of nothing.

There are required elements.

Before, I was making gourmet high quality motions and doing research of the same. I didn't have much to work with, but I notched it up to the highest standards it would go within my means. So gourmet motions arrived pizza delivery neighbor man, whatever. I did what I could.

Now, I can't make a standard case or motions, I can't make sub-standard ones, all that I am able to do right now is screw myself over by even trying because I do NOT have even the basic ingredients essential to defending my rights.

Which is exactly why they've done this to me. To make it IMPOSSIBLE for me to defend myself. I know, yeah, I have an idea of the angles I could work and get excited about studying legal things again, if I have a few hours of peace, but that's not how it's been.

There is no lawyer that is going to help me because I've tried them all and some know it's a conflict of interest for them and others get more nervous about what might go wrong if they tried to help.

This is why I have always known that the only way I can defend myself is if someone realizes the merits of taking a case to investigate for crimes that robbed me and my son of fundamental rights. If that happened, it would be the easiest transition. I feel that when my rights have been so violated to put me in a powerless position, that's when it IS a big enough deal which someone in the FBI should be taking on. Someone who is just sort-of oppressed or had a bad hair day, they can still recover for themselves because even if a few tools were stolen, not the entire toolbox. For someone who is fully oppressed and tortured, there is no possible recovery. They have no toolbox and everything they could ever try to use is gone. The only possible way to defend then, is for someone to investigate which crimes made it so impossible and were so damaging as to put someone in house arrest with no chance of recovery ever.

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